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Utopia Talk / Movie Talk / Movie Reviews 9000++
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon May 11 17:37:09
For random reviews!
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon May 11 17:51:37
"Age of Adaline" was amazings! Much cries and very tears. Well directed themes about falling in love and taking a chance and being changed by another person, finding real wisdom from loss and experience, making history tangible with emotion.. and great performances from Blake Lively and Harrison Ford; real depth there. Plus an unexpected cast: random peeps like Amanda Crew from "Final Destination 3" or Michiel Huisman (apparently from Game of Thrones), but also peeps like Ellen Burstyn (Requiem for a Dream), and Kathy Baker (Mister Frost, Edward Scissorhands)..

It's apparently being hated on Tomatoes, but I thought it was really good — def worth seeing :)
McKobb
Member
Mon May 11 17:56:52
As long as it has Indiana Jones and not Ohio Jones in it!
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon May 11 17:59:23
Oh! One thing I thought was funny was that they were trying to be really sciencey, but if you know even a little it just becomes silly. Like while they explain how she becomes temporarily immortal, they mention how the electricity of a lightning bolt affected her "deoxyribonucleic acid", which sounds fancy if you don't know that that's just DNA. Then in the end they mention how her "telomeres regained their pliability", which again sounds fancy if you don't know that that's just basic genetics (telomere information loss typically indicated in the aging process). Then there were other moments where the phrasing showed writing that didn't quite understand science; like how she studied for a year and determined that "there was no explanation" rather than a better phrasing being that "she could find no explanation." Still, I took most of it comically; it wasn't the focus of the story, which was more a reflection on how people can prevent themselves from making decisions which "age" them, but they end up missing a crucial part of life
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon May 11 18:01:09
"As long as it has Indiana Jones and not Ohio Jones in it!"

They had to flash back to a younger version of Indiana who was more capable of adventures :p
.. kind of a funny actor who decided that the best way to imitate Harrison Ford was by clenching the right side of his face XD
McKobb
Member
Mon May 11 18:11:23
In the 80's I liked to say deoxyribnucleic acid like some kids liked to say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious :P

http://youtu.be/1Pu1adxqUAg
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon May 11 18:21:45
so like, "super-cali-fragilistic-deoxy-ribo-nucleic acid!"? :D
McKobb
Member
Mon May 11 18:32:12
Close enough :P

I saw Woman in Gold yesterday. It was hard to feel sympathetic for the bourgeoise even if her goods were snatched by the nazis.
McKobb
Member
Mon May 11 18:36:55
I was verKlempt when Austria was stript of it's cultural heiritage!
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon May 11 18:51:11
It doesn't end with her somehow being convicted of war crimes? That would be the best.
Cherub Cow
Member
Sun May 17 20:14:28
"Live Free or Die Hard" (Die Hard 4) is playing on the telly where I am... I can't find the Utopia thread where it was discussed before (that was 2007), but an R rating would definitely have made it kewl. Much unfortunate :(

Has anyone seen Mad Max yet? Have heard good things, but won't be able to see it until Tuesday maybe
McKobb
Member
Sun May 17 20:32:05
I was planning on tuesday night, less crowd. I hate packed theatres.
Cherub Cow
Member
Sun May 17 20:46:07
"less crowd. I hate packed theatres."

Definitely! I have friends that only go on Fridays and Saturdays at 7 o'clock (peak hours), but I'd prefer not to be reminded of how stupidly the masses respond to things
McKobb
Member
Mon May 18 17:52:23
Did you ever read Wild?
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue May 19 17:38:49
Nar :/
..thought it would be too painful.. but maybe I should anyways? I might :p
McKobb
Member
Tue May 19 19:08:58
Hell if I know, I ain't gonna read it :P
pillz
Member
Tue May 19 19:14:53
Pitch Perfect 2 was OK.
I liked everything about the first one better.

2/3 of the returning male cast put on weight, that was kinda funny.
McKobb
Member
Wed May 20 01:17:14
Holy shit! Now that was a fucking action flick! It took me a minute to buy into the highly stylized 300 over the top, then over that presentation of Mad Max...but then just guzzle some gas and go with it :P :P

The problem with beyond thunder dome was all the boring shit in between the action. This remake does not have that problem.

On a side note this would make an excellent 1/256 scale minature game!
McKobb
Member
Wed May 20 02:12:05
My friend and I were the only ones in the 3D Big D 10:30 showing.

$30 for our own theatre was awesome :P
Cherub Cow
Member
Wed May 20 17:14:08
Kewls! Might have to see it today. Tried yesterday but it was completely sold out (teens must be out of skoooowul!). Was 3D worth it though?

..
Oh, some mini thoughts on two recent watches:

- Finally watched "Kick-Ass 2". Was again very disappointed that they didn't kill Kick-Ass' character. And their push towards "everyday heroes" and psuedo-inspiration was painful to watch.

- "What We Do In The Shadows" is hilarious!! That's with the 'Flight of the Conchords' peeps — they play vampires coping with modern society (in Office/Parks documentary style). Totes see it
McKobb
Member
Thu May 21 08:00:53
3D because that's all they had for the late show, but they were surprisingly conservative in it's use.
Palem
Person.
Thu May 21 12:13:10
I thought Kick-Ass 2 was ok. Not even close to being as awesome as the first one.

I'll have to look into What We Do In the Shadows...
Damian DB
Moderator
Thu May 21 13:26:10
well since there is a Kick-Ass 3 comic, and kick-ass lives through that, albeit retired from superheroing, he will never die.

kick-ass 2 they also pussied out on some of the more disturbed moments of the comics, like they did with kick-ass.

and from what I've read, there will not be a kick-ass 3 movie.
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu May 21 17:34:40
"he will never die."
That's disappointing :/

"from what I've read, there will not be a kick-ass 3 movie."
But that's not :D
Cherub Cow
Member
Sat May 23 21:51:34
Just saw Mad Max
Good things!
It wasn't just action, either; they kept that tone of ultra-survival instinct despite being post apocalyptic. Like post-Nietzschean ("first man" instead of "last man"). Especially liked how Max sort of entertained the idea of Furiosa's having hope for another place, but really he had no illusions about getting there or that it even existed (or he didn't have any -expectations- that it did) — he was just interested in continuing to move and survive.. violently :D

Also liked how it was surprisingly okay to have a truck with a slave guitar player. Only thing I thought was cheesy was that they threw in that scene at the end where after the big truck crashed to block the road, that they clearly rendered a 3D gimmick (the guitar coming at the screen, plus the steering wheel, etc.). I didn't see it in 3D, but it was clear that those 10 seconds were -for- 3D.

Anyways. Totes fun! A very present tense action with a good recognition that survival genre isn't about plot — survival not being linear.
McKobb
Member
Sun May 24 00:01:13
!I might see it again soon. What I will never see again is Lucy. I couldn't wait for 100% so it would be over. I actually nodded off from about 60-80% :(
Cherub Cow
Member
Sun May 24 00:51:35
But that was Luc Besson's accumulated works on feminist power! :(
I still need to do a full review of it, because he basically references the whole history of cinema..
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu May 28 20:53:46
Zombeavers was funny :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SmWys4sjfA
Cherub Cow
Member
Sun May 31 17:49:39
Survivor was good; worthwhile thriller movie
(trailer):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvkhoqo6QQ4

This is the one with Milla Jovovich and Pierce Brosnan. Jovovich's character starts to uncover a terrorist plot while working at London's U.S. Embassy, so a terror-for-profit organization hires Brosnan's character (assassin called the "watchmaker") to kill her and finish carrying out its plan.

Surprisingly high budget (I hadn't heard of it before this week), and pretty well written and researched. Given Britain's surveillance mechanisms, some of it was a stretch (like that Jovovich could evade police for so long after being implicated in the original attack), so it was probably a notch or two below the Bourne series in terms of spy action/realism, but it had just enough realism to keep it dramatic.

Did like :)
Damian DB
Moderator
Wed Jun 03 06:04:38
I saw Jupiter Ascending.. and well, I'm confused by it.

I mean Sean Bean is in the movie, and he didn't die. doesn't that like, go against the laws of nature?
pillz
Member
Wed Jun 03 09:58:30
Wonder if he asked them if that was a mistake when he read the script?
Cherub Cow
Member
Sun Jun 07 20:41:46
Quick reviews:

Insidious 3 was oddly okay. It had some good shock moments (surprisingly ;p ), and then it started making fun of itself when the movie-making duo showed up. Was still pretty fun though

And San Andreas was fun (even if stupid). Saw it in 3D. The Rock saved the world (and by "saved the world," I mean that he used a helicopter specifically to save his family, even though he was supposed to be working for the city :D

Both pretty okay movies for their respective genres and such. rawr

McKobb
Member
Sun Jun 07 22:15:26
San Andreas was good for watching California fall into the ocean, not much else. I had to watch mad max again to cleanse my palate!
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Jun 08 13:27:16
"was good for watching California fall into the ocean"

Yeah! It was good for my Cally hate. Especially liked how the opening scene was a neo-ValleyGirl doing pretty much every nihilistic or vanity-driven thing that peeps shouldn't do while driving, but she didn't crash because of them — which was good, because instead she crashed because all that useless crap was about to be superseded >:D

(tool - ænima)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCEeAn6_QJo
"I sure could use a vacation from this
Bullshit, three-ring circus sideshow of freaks
Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call L.A.
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
...
Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car
...
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.
...
Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits."
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Jun 08 13:33:29
actually, I was laughing -a lot- in that movie :D
McKobb
Member
Mon Jun 08 21:47:50
didya like the flag hanging off the bridge?
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Jun 09 17:29:52
That was a bit cheesy :p
So was the scene where Mr. Fantastic was killed by a cargo crate. An audience prole -clapped- at that empty fan service, which made me worry that a larger audience would have behaved even worse. I was hoping he'd get out and ruin the after party or something :/
And it was also funny that Kylie Minogue had a cameo. Have to wonder how that happened :p
McKobb
Member
Tue Jun 09 17:51:00
Saw age of ultron again with different friends. It was actually better the second time.
Cherub Cow
Member
Sat Jun 20 21:48:45
Jurassic World (2015)
...

Was pretty much how you might expect if you know this routine: a pop movie that didn't try to do anything too exceptional — except for effects, of course. They didn't make any big choices, so nothing memorable happening. Still could be worth a theater watch for simple mass appeal (like those Marvel movies), though it's probably only worth the matinee price (and non-3D).

(minor spoilers ahead)

Minor Redemptions
I did at least like that they expanded on Dr. Wu's role for this movie. In the book — at least before he was disemboweled — they have Wu talking about his desire to make -accurate- dinosaurs or even just safer, slower dinosaurs, with Hammond instead demanding the next level of attraction. So the franchise again speculated on the cost of that kind of engineering while also adding Wu's cynicism into the mix. This addition meant that it wasn't just "oh no! genetic engineering raises ethical questions!" No, the movie sampled more from one of the Lost World's themes: will humans, despite having the complexity to prevent catastrophic extinction, destroy itself through its -behavior-? On this front, the movie instead went a little meta, showing not just that genetically engineering dinosaurs can be suicidal — that is, it's never -just- about a creature; Grendel was never a beast. Here it's instead how an -audience's- desire for bigger spectacles can be self-destructive. Under that lens, Wu can almost be seen disgusted with himself for feeding into a system with such mediocre motivations (like a big-movie producer/director). Then of course the audience was implicated repeatedly with characters looking directly at the screen, showing that the theater audience can possess the same psychological problem — seeking out the next big effects movie with some stupid desire for bigger scale. But, unfortunately, this was a subtle directorial effect. To take it to the next level, the writers would have needed to kill the children, breaking the novelty of effects and disappointing viewers with seemingly real tragedy, but they didn't.

There were at least some small attempts at being interesting. In one scene the older brother speculates to the younger brother that the hybrid dinosaur could be close by, but when the younger shows fear, the older quickly lies to him to comfort him. For the full hilarity of this, the older would have needed to say, "see how my lying made you feel better?" but this sort of line (reflecting on lying as placation within the moment) was reserved for Bryce Dallas Howard's character in a later scene, which took out some of the impact, because it fell on her character like another quirk rather than a reality (the reality that things may -not- be okay). Then there was a funny scene where no sooner had a random Ingen troop identified himself as having served in Afghanistan — letting american audiences predictably start thinking "support our troops" or other patriotic refrains — than he was impaled by a pterosaur of some sort... The moments when the children cried were also sometimes funny, and Dr. Wu -does- escape with genetic material, so there seem to be specific plans for a sequel, which leaves the door open on some writer/director commentary, but it seems unlikely that anything notable will ever occur in this franchise.

Written for Non-Identities
Otherwise, this movie was mostly a pop-culture collage. Beyond Chris Pratt they brought in Ty Simpkins from Iron Man 3 (the little boy that occupied Tony's time), Bryce Dallas Howard (who stepped in for Rachelle Lefevre in Twilight, strategically making Victoria's death a moment of inconsequential theater), etc.. — all safe actors with provable and mostly tame records. These make great surrogates for the masses, who can identify with equally bland lives. They even brought in New Girl's Jake Johnson, who seemed to be there almost entirely for the man children who have "grown" from 1993's theater spectators into 2015's un-evolved consumer mouths. All of these characters test very well with focus groups, no doubt, and so they were selected. None could possibly offend, and so they fill the talk show couches with unscented asses. Would a eunuch ever shit? Certainly not while masters watch.

Overall
Pratt's shirt stays on, and the writing was too tame. They didn't even subtitle the dinosaurs. So if you expect a common, unexceptional blockbuster, then this was it; it delivered.


"Hype and mediocrity"
McKobb
Member
Wed Jun 24 00:43:20
Not a fan of seventh son, and I wanted it to be good. I think Card's version of seventh son would have been more interesting set in america's western expansion.
Cherub Cow
Member
Wed Jun 24 15:26:54
But "The Spook's Apprentice" (Seventh Son movie) doesn't have anything to do with Orson Scott Card except that Card's Seventh Son was about a seventh son having special powers — totally different story though! Stop trying to make fetch happen ;D
McKobb
Member
Thu Jun 25 01:56:34
It should have been 'Son of a Witch'
The Children
Member
Fri Jun 26 14:14:20
jurassic world sucked ass. seriously it was bs.
and the stereotypes in the movie...wow

seems like da dinosaurs arent the only thing ancient in this movie.

and endin was so predictable. damn was so predictable.


Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Jun 26 16:03:32
They should have killed the children!!!
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Jun 29 02:16:39
Many lols from Ted 2. Especially liked the Jurassic Park (1993) and Contact (1994) reference scene, and Liam Neeson's scenes were lols (if you see it, stay after the credits for Neeson's second scene!). I didn't get much out of the moments that were attempting a little drama, but those just seemed like excuses to move things along so I don't think they should be judged seriously. Def worth a watch!
McKobb
Member
Mon Jun 29 03:14:04
More lols than in the trailer?
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Jun 29 03:24:31
Avoided the trailer so not sure :/
McKobb
Member
Mon Jun 29 03:37:05
TED 2 or Jurassic World?
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Jun 29 08:56:00
Ted 2! :D
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Jul 02 20:18:18
Terminator Genisys (2015)
...

Was good!

Part of it being good was accepting that it still had some of the non-serious moments that made Terminator 3 terrible (like fourth wall-breaking jokes and things), but in this one they at least excused those jokes by having made Schwarzenegger's character an adapted/adaptable T-version. That left things not quite on level with T1, T2, or even Salvation (which I mostly liked), but it was a writing improvement over T3.

Genisys Software
In this one, Skynet's villain status transforms slightly into a connectivity issue. With proles insisting on expanding application connectivity, staring at glowing rectangles
http://www...-spent-staring-at-glowing-2747
, and over-sharing personal information, it seems natural that self-directed life simplification invites disaster. Against a background of such doomed commoners, the movie's heroes emerge from an "off the grid" past and future, and the villain emerges from ultimate transhumanism (in the techno-modification sense; technology incorporation). This side of the plot should be familiar from many other stories, so I'll just add that Genisys almost started sounding like Windows 10 or the next iOS release, with people pre-registering to download, placated and unsuspicious of Trojan horses. I wonder if Windows or Apple will have to blame this movie for lower download rates? ;)

Frozen-Style Feminism
Emilia Clarke also proved herself to be a good Sarah Connor replacement, though Linda Hamilton set high bars. Clarke's Connor's romance with Kyle Reese (this time played by Jai Courtney; military villain from Insurgent and also John McClane's CIA son in 'A Good Day to Die Hard') seemed much like that of "Frozen", weirdly, which would be to say that it dealt with proletariat-feminist questions of 'how love can be possible without classical roles of saviour knights and damsels in distress' (ultra-politicizing minds typically make purely political decisions with love, failing themselves and their own passions in favour of abstractions. So for the prole/intro-feminist, who replaces one script with another, this type of Frozen formulation shows how terms can be set for people who still possess relationship libidos). There even exists an even weirder reading in this context, where Schwarzenegger's character represents Connor's vibrator, which gives Connor sexual independence, yet she may still decide to forgo her vibrator for an actual human — though of course her vibrator remains nearby, just in case. Hopefully this reading seems absurd, because just like reading phalluses into any mildly-cylindrical structure can become ridiculous quickly, so too can reading vibrators into any 'fear of machines' story.

Still, this -was- pop culture feminism. Most of the passion could be seen on Reese's side, with Connor's attraction then [possibly] seeming a simple product of flattery. The word "beautiful" was mentioned, and if it was taken in a vacuum, then that would be a shallow love. But, Reese further explains that his sense of this beauty comes from Connor's survivalist and maybe even -feminist- nature. From that sense, -if- Connor's attraction to Reese were -not- short-sightedly called some irredeemable suspension of judgment, then it can instead be like her realizing that she -can- kick down doors and blow things up and still be someone's ideal — that love doesn't require changing ('softening') that nature, and it doesn't even require a loss of self to pregnancy (her role does not have to be to simply -make- a future warrior; -she- can lead the resistance).

Overall
Having gone with expectations of T3 cringe, I'm happy to say that it was not that bad. It was actually kind of fun. Unless they try another closed, Salvation-type story, this franchise will likely continue to sacrifice its potential with PG-13 ratings and pop culture appeals, but despite its calculated, non-offensive script, Genisys brought good writing and a fluid story. Nothing incredible, mind you, but certainly better than watching Jurassic World and trying to like Chris Pratt's dinosaur romance — with such a low bar, why -not- do meth?
McKobb
Member
Fri Jul 03 00:26:26
Ted 2 was awesome particularly funny was golum eyes and john candy tribute from planes, trains, and automobiles! I could have done without all the proselytizing tho!
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Fri Jul 10 12:02:35
is there a Kingsman:Secret Service review in here somewhere?

i just saw it... had a great fight scene & noteworthy fireworks scene, & a good message about humans
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Jul 10 21:47:34
Oh kewl! I actually -just- have that coming via Netflix right meow! It didn't last in theaters long, but have been hearing good things.
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Jul 13 01:45:50
Self/Less and The Gallows both turned out to be pretty bad. The Gallows especially.


The Gallows (2015)
...

Unwatchable garbage.

About
This was the one where some kids break into their own high school to destroy the set of a play ("The Gallows") only to find out that the school is still haunted by some spirit of the 1993 production. Once they find themselves locked in, they run around campus under the guidance of poor writing.

Rating Failure by MPAA
While I would normally outright avoid a movie like this (the trailer made it look poorly done), its R-rating made it seem like it could hold some hidden potential; R-rated horror typically doesn't care about audience catering and instead wants to do its own thing, whereas PG-13 horror was designed for marketability. But I have no idea why The Gallows was rated R. I've read the MPAA description ("Rated R for some disturbing violent content and terror"),
http://par...eviews/content-details/gallows
but that description would typically be something for PG-13 movies — which "The Gallows" effectively -was-.

This movie had -no- ultraviolence, I don't remember any real swearing (nothing like "fuck" or "fuck my rotten corpse while it hangs from the gallows"), the "terror" was very mild (just a couple of predictable "jump scare" scenes and some pursuits), there may not have been so much as a scrape on screen (no blood), no nudity (partial or otherwise), and certainly nothing that would psychologically scar a 16-year-old. Its most "R" moment would probably be when they showed a dead teen hanging from a rope for all of about 3 frames, but that was just some light make-up effects — again, PG-13 level. Did they rate it R because a student was apparently hanged in the first few minutes? That wouldn't make sense — grainy footage with no gore effects, why -would- that be R?

This movie was a -very- soft PG-13 which was severely mislabeled R. Its "violent content and terror" were mild and self-censoring — it was clearly made for a PG-13 audience. So why did the MPAA screw the filmmakers on this? Total incompetence, or maybe it was some kind of studio infighting? Did the MPAA decide to economically screw the producers (vengeance for not being bribed?), or did the producers ask for an R-rating to hide this movie from the negative critique it would have received from a wider, PG-13 audience? Something went terribly wrong here.


(( Plot Spoilers Ahead ))

Intentionally Terrible Acting?
From the beginning the acting was a total mess, with Reese Mishler specializing in staring into space to feign a crush and Pfeifer Brown playing a melodramatic drama student. Still, this could be intentional, because after going through the trauma of a ghost chase, Reese's character arrives on stage to re-deliver his earlier lines with some stage presence... though it certainly helps his apparent character growth that the camera was 50+ feet away during this ending scene (theater actors don't have to worry much for microexpressions). Sadly, this "growth" was itself melodramatic, showing a kind of painful story writing.

Inconsequential Writing
The story itself seemed to have attempted some kind of anti-bullying narrative, but it was mostly lame. A jock archetype peppers the early narrative with inarticulate hate for his foosball friend's love of drama class, and this archetype continuously torments the pear-shaped stage manager (given that convincing proles to kill themselves should be an art, the jock's major failure seems to be that his style of bullying lacks subtly). It could be that the writers were allowing bullied viewers to welcome his death, but this kind of screen justice was blurred by the story's failure to give the malevolent entity a coherent motive. Was the entity bullied? Maybe.

In the 1993 production of the play, Reese's father apparently wasn't available to play his character (the protagonist, who falls in love with a noble and hangs for some legal version of crossing class boundaries), so the duty fell to a boy named Charlie. When it comes time for Charlie's hanging scene, something goes wrong and Charlie actually hangs, dying on stage. It seems that Charlie was originally supposed to play the hangman, so his haunting could be like getting to play the character he meant to play, but that's a thin motive — hardly worth haunting a school over. Charlie -does- target Reese in particular, and if this means a "sins of the father" narrative, then it's possible that Charlie blames Reese's father for not hanging in his rightful place and intends to take it out on Reese. That's also thin, because the story gives little indication that Reese's father -caused- Charlie's death simply by not being there (a superstitious motive at best).

So the movie leaves some big questions [unanswered?], like: why did Reese's father drop from the play? Did someone (Reese's father?) sabotage the set so that Charlie would die? Given the bully narrative, the simple conclusion would be that Reese's jock father bullied Charlie, Charlie was in love with Alexis (this given that Alexis gave birth to Pfeifer, Charlie's daughter), Reese's father had a crush on Alexis (just like Reese later had a crush on Pfeifer) but became jealous when he discovered Alexis and Charlie's relationship, so he dropped from the play and arranged Charlie's "accident." In that case, Charlie was meant to begin his revenge with Reese, working his way to Reese's father, killing anyone who seems similar to Reese's father along the way (any "popular" or "bully" types).

(( End Spoilers ))

This movie was likely designed to be a franchise cash grab, leaving these above questions to be answered in a sequel. But, given how terribly it has been reviewed, it's difficult to say if the producers will make a second. On the monetary side, they absolutely will, because — bad reviews or not — this movie became seed money; it cost 100k USD to make and made 11+ million in theaters, "so why the fuck not? Get a better director, give it a slightly larger budget, and let's crap out this piece of crap" (producers typically react to money, not to quality, so they follow scents like dogs trained to find dirty diapers). Then again, if the producers decide -not- to make another Paranormal-style festival of time travel and mindlessly interconnected story arcs, then these plot details really don't matter. This first movie was so poorly directed that not many people will bother with a sequel anyways — just masochists like myself — so the story may stay in this singular and shitty form. Wouldn't that be a nice dream? Where the producers decided not to just save entire sections of story for sequels, instead trying to tell a full story?

Overall
Yep. Just another story fragment that some producer pushed through to release and hoped would do well enough that another atrocious franchise could pollute theaters for several years. Seed money. Not a movie. Does that mean that the MPAA was really trying to save the world? Doubtful. They probably just didn't like the seed money percentage that they were promised for a PG-13, so they bumped it to R so that no one would win.
Cherub Cow
Member
Wed Jul 15 02:02:28
Watched Kingsman!

(( some spoilers ))
Def agree on the great fight scene and loved the fireworks part! Especially liked the fireworks because it reversed typical eugenics, with politicians and such becoming the target (economic eugenics typically favors politicians). Also liked that the device was still activated, so the proles were thinned out a little too — sort of a Watchmen tribute of anti-happy ending.

Was pretty weirded out by the musical selection, though. Like that song that started the end credits, and then an Iggy Azalea song?? That Azalea song had some pretty stupid lyrics, btw — another cliché "To everyone who said I'd never make it" verse and everything. Ugh. Pop culture garbage. So not a true counter-culture movie, but it had some nice elements mixed in. Fun also to see Mark Hamill, instead of just hear him :p
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Wed Jul 15 12:24:39
i hope someone is working on a similar plan... maybe Google Glass 2.0
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Jul 20 18:35:19
Too bad it targetted users -and- people around them :(

..
Ant-Man was lols! Really liked it, actually. Don't usually care much for the Marvel movies, but because this one was so purely comedy-oriented, it was fun. Def worth seeing for Paul Rudd lols
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Mon Jul 20 20:10:57
saw Terminator, seemed a bit like a rehash of T2 story, but still enjoyable!

didn't they establish Skynet was inevitable in one of the movies?

...didn't notice the vibrator underpinnings myself :p
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Jul 20 20:27:11
I might have invented that ;D

"didn't they establish Skynet was inevitable in one of the movies?"

Yeah definitely in T3 they mention that it can't be stopped, only delayed. Guess they're contradicting that to rebuild the franchise or something
pillz
Member
Tue Jul 21 00:42:58
Watched Collateral recently! Finally! Honestly, it's been near the top of my list for like a decade. But I never got around to renting it, never caught it on TV, and it only just found it's way to Canadian Netflix.

I really thought it was a weaker film, all around, than John Wick. Unless you're analysing them for like symbolism I guess, maybe? I don't know. I liked John Wick better, which I watched a movie after Collateral.

Finally saw Oblivion, too!

It was good. I mean, I quite enjoyed it. Visually it was very pleasing and it was pretty interesting dystopian story imo. Cruise did a good job but I mean, it Tom Cruise. You know what you're gonna get. SpoilersSpoilersSpoilers -______ Spoilers >>>> Otherwise I felt they were a little provocative with the whole knock her up and then suicide bomb the aliens thing? And then just replace him with the other one? Like lol what. But whatever it works I guess.

Super cool scenery and landscapes and stuff. I thought that Edge of Tomorrow was better as a sci-fi movie though. It had a stronger story and it was better developed than that of Oblivion. It also had some cool visuals, and time fuckery. I was pretty blazed when I watched it though, and this isn't that sort of movie. So maybe I'll enjoy it more upon a second viewing.
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Jul 21 17:38:36
Oblivion ftw! It really was a bit weird to have his clone find Kurylenko at the end, though, because then you have to wonder how many clones all have the same memories waiting to be activated by a chance encounter, and how they'd all pursue her but it would get old for her very quickly. I like weird, though ;D

..
"I really thought [Collateral] was a weaker film, all around, than John Wick."

Not even sure why you would compare the two aside from watching them at the same time? 10 years apart, different directors, different cast, entirely different sense of realism (making it almost a different genre altogether).. they're just meant for different moods — John Wick being a comical shoot-em-up, and Collateral being a dramatic self-reflection. I -do- still wish Collateral had ended differently, though (that that shootout had been reversed)
pillz
Member
Wed Jul 22 09:47:49
Comparing the two just because of operator gun scenes. I figure neither has much going for it in the story or plot department. I was actually expecting Collateral to have a little more, as I'd never seen it and it is the older movie.


And yeaaaah. That final shootout was pretty disappointing.
Cherub Cow
Member
Wed Jul 22 17:42:32
"Comparing the two just because of operator gun scenes"

Oh that makes sense. Both had very conscious use of gun movement..

..
"I was actually expecting Collateral to have a little more"

I thought it was at least good for a character study. Like those conversations towards the end, where Vincent (Cruise) was telling Max (Foxx) how worthless Max' life was and how Max would probably never even start his fancy limo service. That's why I was disappointed by the shootout, because Max' survival "could" (for viewers) mean that he'd turn his life around and do those things — as though he could escape being mundane. Still, for the character study side, Vincent's death (if taken -without- optimism for Max' future) meant that no one really gets out alive (no real heroes, no better side to be on) and no one would even notice their little skirmishes all over the city — very much Michael Mann's style. So those conversations at least made it memorable.. hmm
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Fri Jul 24 20:00:40
i remember liking the song playing when the coyote was on the road... i don't remember the song but just remember the liking...
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Jul 24 22:16:52
That's a nice scene!.. like they got a little view of this other world that doesn't care about hoomans or something
Hood
Member
Sun Jul 26 19:26:21
John Wick made it to HBO! So I watched it. Surprisingly not too bad. Would have been nice if he actually was the unstoppable badass they made him out to be, instead of needing help to survive, twice.

My favorite part was how Reeves delivered the line to the priest.

"He'll kill me!"
-rifle butt to the face, headshot. turn back to priest-
"Uh huh..."
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Jul 27 21:18:45
Don't remember that part.. might have to watch again
pillz
Member
Wed Jul 29 10:19:38
I do remember that part!
Cherub Cow
Member
Wed Jul 29 17:03:05
Lucky!!
Cherub Cow
Member
Wed Jul 29 19:47:46
Southpaw was *really* good.

It's an Antoine Fuqua movie (one of my favorite action directors, along with Luc Besson; Fuqua directed "The Replacement Killers", one of my favorites in the genre), so it wasn't just a pure boxing movie or something — it had some very emotional elements tied into the story, like being on the bottom and having to work through an unsympathetic social system, hearing painful truths from family when things fall apart, finding out who tends to be permanent in life..

And Rachel McAdams had a small but very potent part in the beginning. Her trauma scene was very visceral and real, and I'm not sure that the movie would have worked without it. Have to also credit Fuqua's talent for that scene — great performances seem to result from his style. I also really liked the scene when Gyllenhaal has a meeting with his daughter later in the movie (I think it was the first visit), and he has to hear her tell him that it was his fault — he couldn't just threaten her to avoid hearing it (his method with friends), and they were both suffering. Child actors usually end up being annoying, but Oona Laurence (who was in the Slender Man SVU episode) was mostly functional, so it worked.

Anyways! Def see it! Even if you don't necessarily gravitate towards drama in action, it -did- have a lot of fight action too, if that's an appeal. Action usually only works for me if there's passion behind it, and there definitely was in this movie. Even Rambo 4 worked for me because Rambo was working things out in the violence — it wasn't just pointless carnage. For Southpaw it was that Gyllenhaal's character had to learn to adopt McAdams' character's culture to make himself a whole or balanced person, something all the more difficult given that he couldn't just wait for her input anymore.

So! Quite a surprise. I didn't intend to see this movie in theater, but I'd have missed the first few minutes of Trainwreck, so I saw this instead and it worked out :)
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Jul 30 19:24:52
"Vacation" (2015) was funny! Good for many lols.

This was the one where Rusty Griswold (meow played by Ed Helms) decides to take his family on a Walley World vacation to bring them all closer together — like Clark (Chevy Chase) had done in 1983...

It does some expected homages to the original (some of the situations were acted with similar timing, red car driving blonde in flirtation scene on the road, Ed Helms at one point even does the Chevy Chase device of not listening to his son while giving him a talk, settings were reproduced, Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo have a cameo, etc.), but for the most part it seemed pretty fresh — it didn't seem like they were just doing a remake or something. It may have actually had even less nostalgia than the new Dumb and Dumber.. I think a good balance was made here by new director John Francis Daley (he's mostly been a comedy actor before meow). Vacation had lots of well-timed jokes and clever ideas. Was lol'ing a lot :D

Also pluses were that both Charlie Day and Kaitlin Olson from Sunny in Philly make cameos. And there were treats like Norman Reedus, Nick Kroll, Leslie Mann (the new Audrey Griswold), etc... lots of peeps. Chris Hemsworth's cameo (underwear scene) was probably the funniest for me, though :p

So! Would recommend for lols that were uncontaminated by excessive nostalgia cinema.
McKobb
Member
Thu Jul 30 19:30:28
I might catch that one next week.
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Jul 30 19:34:26
Yay! "No ragrets" :p
The new Mission Impossible comes out tonight, though.. so if you have to decide between them, it could end up a difficult decision ;)
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Jul 30 19:35:12
Not sure why I winky faced. Mission Impossible looks good.
McKobb
Member
Thu Jul 30 19:36:52
Never been into the MI series
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Jul 30 19:42:22
Ghost Protocol (the last one) was pretty good and Tom Cruise has been doing well lately, so I'm up for it :)
McKobb
Member
Thu Jul 30 19:57:23
I did love Impossible Mission!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impossible_Mission
McKobb
Member
Thu Jul 30 19:57:44
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impossible_Mission
pillz
Member
Fri Jul 31 10:17:10
You removed the s but not the m?

what failure
McKobb
Member
Fri Jul 31 10:26:03
My bad, I will now remove my penis from your forehead.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impossible_Mission
Cherub Cow
Member
Sat Aug 01 23:17:49
Saw Rogue Nation (Mission Impossible) — was fun action. PG-13 of course, but entertaining and light. Nothing worth going on about :p .. but I liked it. Fun fun
Hood
Member
Sun Aug 02 00:00:35
Saw Antman today. Was oddly unheroic, despite being a marvel superhero movie.

The complementary characters were incredibly weak.
Cherub Cow
Member
Sun Aug 02 22:39:53
"Was oddly unheroic, despite being a marvel superhero movie."

I liked that about it! It didn't do Marvel's typical thing of poorly combining jokes with "serious" content — Ant-Man was almost all comedy and even made fun of Marvel's other movies. That makes it pretty much the only Avengers-side Marvel movie that I've liked
Damian DB
Moderator
Mon Aug 10 19:21:08
Fantastic Four

was really dull, pretty boring. little character depth and even worse plot wise. I would rather watch Sharknado again than watch this movie again, cause at least that was entertaining. Fantastic Four wasn't even entertaining in the shut your brain off and enjoy type mode.
Hood
Member
Tue Aug 11 17:33:12
"I liked that about it!"

I didn't like or dislike that aspect. I did like the movie though. I also liked that the villain wasn't magically some super athletic guy once he got in his suit. Most of his fighting was standing around. It was a good touch. Definitely better than the original Iron Man fight, where somehow that big oaf of a suit was reasonably maneuverable, despite it being the first time Jeff Bridges was in it.

"even made fun of Marvel's other movies."

I definitely liked the Falcon cameo. They definitely couldn't have picked a better new avenger for that role.




"Fantastic Four"

I had no intention of seeing this movie. Glad my initial decision was a good one.
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Aug 11 17:41:18
"I also liked that the villain wasn't magically some super athletic guy once he got in his suit. Most of his fighting was standing around. It was a good touch."

Definitely! I hate it when everyone suddenly knows Kung-Fu when it's time to fight. It's not very imaginative to just throw money at a fight choreographer without connecting that action to the character stories..

..
"I had no intention of seeing this movie."

It looked bad but I'll probably still see it because masochism.
Hood
Member
Tue Aug 11 17:52:16
Well, by "no intention" I meant waiting like 7 years until it's dead, buried, decayed and only a smidgen of DVD dust is left of the rotting corpse...

and then finding it under the "laughably awful" section in netflix and subjecting myself to a night of abject horror.
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Aug 11 19:24:30
That's a good system :D
Damian db
Moderator
Tue Aug 11 22:06:01
I went in expecting laughably aweful. All I got was boring.
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Aug 13 23:20:21
Saw Fantastic 4. Planning a longer review because it was so horrible, but short version: this director will probably not be given his own project for a -while-, because it seems very likely that he sabotaged all of his actors... bunch of mannequins..

Also saw "The Gift"
(trailer):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3IiZU9JBuE
.. that started with some fair, psychological-thriller intensity, but it ended up comically devolving into an anti-bullying PSA. I ended up laughing at inappropriate parts because its message was so -basic- .. like "don't be means to people because werds can 2 hurt, k? :'(" .. ugh. Whatever
McKobb
Member
Fri Aug 14 00:42:03
The only question that matters is did they do Dr. Doom justice? I only bought the books that had a Doom thread in it.
Damian DB
Moderator
Fri Aug 14 07:12:06
they do not do Dr. Doom justice.

he's pretty much reduced to

"blah blah I hate people"
"but you'll work with us?"
"to show how brilliant I am, sure"
"awesome!"
"hey wait, I have vague powers now.. DESTROY THE WORLD!"
"hey you're stronger than each of us, but not all of us! DIE NOW!"
"oh you have foiled me... *random death noises*"

and I may have just spoiled the entire movie
The Children
Member
Fri Aug 14 07:20:55
haha i told u that shit was bad.

nobody was actually waitin 4 any of that shit anyway. lolol@reboot. who the fck even gets excited about fantastic 4 lol. its a failed franchise.

just seein 10 seconds of that trailer and u instantly knows its crap

Damian DB
Moderator
Fri Aug 14 11:53:44
well I'm a fan of the ultimate fantastic four comic book series, and from the trailer it looked like they borrowed some of the origin from that. so I assumed it could be good.

it just.. wasn't
pillz
Member
Fri Aug 14 14:07:18
Maker Reed will never appear on the silver screen
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Aug 14 18:20:26
"they do not do Dr. Doom justice. [& summary]"

+1 Deer. To his credit, he gets a short scene of almost R-rated ultraviolence at the end (before the dimensional fight), but otherwise he doesn't even -look- cool — he just looks like a plastic puppet with a big head. His motivations were weak, and he wasn't developed as a person.

..
"who the fck even gets excited about fantastic 4 lol."

Yes! They might be the least interesting heroes that Marvel has assembled into a comic series. Haven't seen Ultimate Fantastic Four, though — I'm mostly just basing this off of my hate for the 90s animated series
Hood
Member
Fri Aug 14 18:22:57
F4 is really pretty boring. The fact that their leader, RR, is a super genius who has to literally invent new things to solve their problems is so dumb. It's always deus ex machina for them. That gets boring as fuck.
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Aug 14 18:34:23
Repeat x9000:

[Reed]: "But if I re-modulate the transducer coils to create a state of flux within the quantum fields, it -might- be possible to desynthesize Dr. Doom's plasma-inducer arrays and super-phosphatize his kinase inhibitors, blocking his powers!"
[Sue]: "You've got it! And we could make it portable using this game glove!"
[Johnny]: "Then let's get him! Flame on!"
[Thing]: "It's clobberin' time!"
pillz
Member
Fri Aug 14 18:50:14
Meh. Maker Reed is the best Reed. 616 Reed is only good when he is cat-fighting with other scientists or being schooled by Doom.
Cherub Cow
Member
Sun Aug 16 22:34:41
"Air" (2015) was okay but not really worth recommending. It had good pacing and interesting sets, but they didn't really accomplish much. This was basically the entire movie:

(( spoilers ))

[Cartwright]: "My stasis chamber broke!"
[Bauer]: "Let's kill one of the VIPs and you can sleep in -that- chamber!"
[Cartwright]: "No! That's mean! Let's use the emergency air, get parts, and fix it!"
[Bauer]: "Right. That makes sense. I'm not sure why that wasn't the immediate procedure and that I immediately suggested murder."
[Cartwright]: "Awesome! Found the spare parts! Time to repair."
[Bauer]: "K, I'll get in the chamber and see if the repairs worked."
[Cartwright]: "K, I'll try to murder you and then ruin the spare parts with a box cutter to free you when I change my mind."
[Bauer]: "But why? Did the repairs not work? There was a leak maybe, but if so, couldn't we have fixed it?"
[Cartwright]: "Maybe, maybe not. Let's not mention it."
[Bauer]: "Sure thing! Ready to kill a VIP?"
[Cartwright]: "No! Now we should leave the oxygenated area and get parts from one of the other VIP storage places — I think there's one nearby!"
[Bauer]: "K! ... oh wow! You were right! We were near another storage place this whole time!"
[Cartwright]: "Yes.. but they're all dead! Which means that the system which supposedly communicated with other storage places was all a lie to keep us working :( .. plus there's no spare parts here"
[Bauer]: "K, I'll kill you when you get back because I reviewed the security footage and saw that you tried to kill me. Oh wait! But is this your wife in one of the VIP chambers?"
[Cartwright]: "Yes! Now I have more of a reason to live than you! Witness my syringe's sharp point!"
[Bauer]: "Bummer."
[Cartwright]: "K. Back to sleep. I will wake in the future."

They don't clarify whether or not Cartwright had already murdered a VIP in order to get his wife in a stasis chamber or if she was a legit VIP, but whatever. There were some light themes about families surviving for each other, but it seemed like they didn't have all that much to say ..

Anyhow. Not a terrible movie, but not too memorable either.
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