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Utopia Talk / Movie Talk / Star wars force awakens
The Children
Member
Thu Dec 17 07:43:26
8 out of 10

good solid movie but if ur a 4-6 fan...u might get disappointed



so story was quite tightlipped so u go in and expect alot. it is quite decent by itself but since all da people who go in r kinda like 4-6 fans, they will be like watchin 4 again. this is coz this story is basically just a new hope remade. i kid u not. some new elements yes, but overall its almost the same story. also say bye bye 2 ur star wars novel stories. coz they no longer canon and shit.

start was pretty good but movie loses alot of momentum later on. but shit, lets get on with it.

so luke disappeared and the galaxy is no longer at peace. fragments of the empire survived and r now strong again. the rebels still fight with them and shit.

so, the rebels r searchin 4 luke skywalker and somehow they got a map where it will show where skywalker is. hmm kinda lame but oke.

so this is how it begins. the badguys raid this piece of shit and we see the new baddie kylo ren, and finn. ofc it starts of by showin us how powerfull this new baddie is. he can even stop laser beams mid air, thats how powerfull he is. pretty pathetic how he somehow loses this ability later on.

so finn makes a u-turn, leaves the empire, and in the process saves this girl rey. ofc if ur a star wars guy u already know theres gotta be more 2 it. and indeed, it wuldnt take long before u realize this rey has force like powers and shit. how predictable. and no doubt is she related 2 someone very important aswell.

anyway, they escape, run in2 surprise surprise. and 2gether on there way back 2 rebel hq when the empire apparently has this new weapon so powerfull u wuld literally question why there r still ppl fightin against them. its called movie world where sense and logic r like faery dust.

so anyway the rebels infiltrate the baddies and surprise surprise, its that easy 2 stop the baddies.

meanwhile kylo ren makes mistake after mistake and no longer that all powerfull sith baddie that everyone fears.

come showdown, u can already tell some important u twist in da story was about 2 happen. and oh boy, again called it right there. that moment was supposed 2 be a strong moment but lol theres zero shits being given in the movie aswell as by the watchers.

chewbaca is just another jarjar so dunt be surprised he aint given the screentime lol. ofc leia goes straight 2 rey coz jarjar aint nobody. just another walkin carpet. meanwhile our jedi knight isnt even shown untill at the very end lol.

theres quite a few jokes spread throughout the movie. they r decentish


its definitely good seeing some of the old cast and new cast. but a rehashed story and a badly done u twist, i mean not that i give a shit that he died, culdve been anyone really, but just badly portrayed on the screen imo



smart dude
Member
Fri Dec 18 03:10:23
Movie: 8/10
This review: 0/10
The Children
Member
Fri Dec 18 08:09:31
so heres my gripes. and u stfu dude

- instant jedi
- mute luke
- han twist corny as hell
- girl power gone haywire. she can fly that thing better faster and superior in every way! and ofc she can slaughter any sith lords in under a minute
- she learned jedi mind trick from hearsay. amazingballs!
- kylo is a spoiled brat, also keep ur mask dude
- useless leia
- chewbaca jar jar binks
- chewbaca and lei hate eachother
- snookie is actually smaller than yoda and his full name is snookie dog
- female captain is fkin useless
- useless republic
- useless first order hq
- rip off a new hope
- cgi overload still crap at times
- ol ben kylo ren

The Children
Member
Fri Dec 18 08:14:32
r2d2 and c3po reduced 2 cameo's.
bb8 sucks donkeyballs and we will never 4get
luke practiced 4 a month on his lines. it really shows in the movie man. he is useless

The Children
Member
Fri Dec 18 12:14:27
do u not think kylo rens lightsaber design is retarded. look at the 2 handles...why cant u say cut the 2 metal away with another lightsaber...wtf is it made of, indestructible adamantium?

lightsabers cut through anything metal!!!

The Children
Member
Fri Dec 18 12:15:52
like here in this pic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I9AZAOBd6A

thats a retard design. lets say the 2 handles were made of red laser, than it wuld be laser clashin against other laser. then oke, we understand u cant cut that shit then. but this...this shit is metal. another lightsaber shuld be able 2 cut them off, if this was real reality and not movie world where logic is like faery dust.
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Dec 18 20:37:23
*[before reading above]*

Saw it last night. Firstly have to say that I got *really* lucky at the theater. I went to a 1am showing because most peeps don't like to stay up that late to see a movie, and the theater had just opened a new screen to meet demand.. but it was a short-notice move on the theater's part so only like, three other tickets were sold, so I basically got to watch Star Wars in an empty theater :D — that meant no costumed proles, no hype reactions to unimpressive moments.. just watching the movie in silence :D :D

..
Anyhow. Overall the movie was okay. Nothing memorable or interesting, but nothing too terrible either.

On the positives, was happy that Abrams/Disney made a real effort to use real sets and animatronics rather than Lucas' over-saturated CGI — for the most part. They also avoided a convoluted script, attempting to make it about character interactions and adventure on the backdrop of a larger war. Basically, they really pushed for retro elements to make episode IV-VI fans happy. This included lots of miscellaneous creatures added in, another bar scene with musicians and new alien variations, familiar scenery, and of course the original cast sprinkled in.

(( SPOILERS AHEAD ))

On the negatives, many of the CGI moments were obvious and disappointing. In some scenes, like the attack on Maz Kanata's castle or whatever, X-Wings would shoot the ground below, and rather than using ground effects (real ground explosions) the CGI was painfully clear, with low-pixel blocks flying around storm troopers (in those explosions, the storm troopers themselves may have been CGI too, but in a first viewing I was distracted by the smooth-tone blocks). Maz Kanata herself was also annoying to look at (this goes also for Snoke). It was the same sort of "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" motion-tracking that could be impressive from some "oh wow, look how far we've come" stance, but in practice — for me at least — just makes me think "CGI still has a **long way to go** with these kinds of facial feature effects..." That kind of CGI still fails the Turing Test for me, whereas puppets at least tend to have more dimensional presence and don't suffer from inconsistent angular rendering (puppets respond to ambient light).

Other negatives come as unintended consequences of the positives. For instance, their push for the retro meant a push for a recycling of tropes. They probably did this for profit-safety, and given Abrams' presence, that can't be surprising (Abrams is a specialist in recycling; he never takes risks, preferring to make carbon copies of other works and dress them up. I would not be surprised if he one day revealed how little he thinks of the movie-goers to whom he caters.. he really is a Hollywood-version of a sleazy used car dealer). Peeps could really list all of the copying, like "another Death Star" .. but keeping it pointed, Han Solo and Kylo Ren's dynamic was very much a consequence of this, to the extent that the outcome of their meeting was a clear eventuality from very early in the movie (probably as soon as the familial connection was made). And the movie couldn't resist other cinematic "farewell" logic, further telegraphing this outcome (Ren's discussion with Snope on the very subject, Solo's sudden reconciliation with Leia, the sweeping green-screen bridge set where Solo was to meet Ren..). With all of that telegraphing, then the moment has to be made important from its internal conflict (Ren's choice difficulty and Solo's paternal efforts) rather than its "twist" (no longer a twist, due to dramatic irony).. but it may have failed even there. Very little character work was given to Ren or Solo to develop the kind of bond that would make this meeting tragic. Still, I'll stop there because this was only the first of the movies, so character development may have only just begun.

This last point probably makes further review difficult; if Abrams intends to make a full carbon copy of the original trilogy (albeit with new spectacle to disguise the copy), then the story has to exist as a whole, with this first movie merely laying the groundwork for the entire dramatic arc. Personally I never really liked Episode IV, with episodes V and VI being far more interesting. And on that line, when Vader kills Obi-Wan in IV, I didn't really care, so it may not mean much to not care about Ren and Solo — the important effect comes from Rey *witnessing* this moment, even if her emotion (like Luke's witnessing Vader+Obi-Wan) does not align with the audience's emotion (though I'm sure that in crowded theaters the crazed/hype fans were upset).

So! While this may be a mediocre movie to me (fairly unexceptional, not by expectations or hype or anything but just as a movie in general), I *do* think that it made room for engaging future stories. Luke definitely seemed cool, and Ren's power display with the blaster shot opens interesting possibilities. Rey's training and future quest for vengeance (with its own "convert Ren" as "convert Vader" possibilities) could be dramatic too... so yeah, *this* one wasn't anything special, but the next one has options, so I might look forward to it.
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Dec 18 21:56:01
"why cant u say cut the 2 metal away with another lightsaber...wtf is it made of, indestructible adamantium?"

This issue was addressed as early as last year:
http://youtu.be/ycg_3vhOfTk?t=3m7s
Short version: it's a split stream, with the metal handles being a safety for the lightsaber user (like a hilt). If someone else were to cut through the metal hilt with a saber, the metal might be cut away, but the underlying saber would still protect the user.. the user just wouldn't have the metal protection anymore.
The Children
Member
Sat Dec 19 02:30:51
did not know this but lol that tall woman from got plays the useless commander chick that we never get 2 see.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3729225/?ref_=tt_cl_i14

lol
The Children
Member
Sat Dec 19 02:39:02
other gripes i have

- super death star is being attacked by rebels...rebel fleet consist of 6 xwings lol
- super death star gets defended by first order. first order fleet consist of 10 tie fighters lol.

where were those star destroyers we saw in the early part of the movies. what a bullshit

- rebels take out the shield. this highly dangerous mission is being done by 3 guys includin 2 of which r at least 70 years old and 1 guy who just defected from the first order but rebels r apparenlt very trustin peoplez lol

- waited a whole movie only for 1 min of a retard skywalker in a starin contest

- rey learned jedi mindtrick from hearsay. just 30 min ago she had 2 hear from solo how all that jedi shit is real and she already doing it 30 min later. amazinballs

- kylo ren can physically stop laser beams, pull and grab stormtroopers by the neck but cant do the same against finn a former stormtrooper

- leia only does hq communications nowadays.
- luv how conveniently the republic gets wiped out by the super wmd from the baddies and ofc this super wmd will get destroyed conveniently puttin everythin back 2 square zero...

The Children
Member
Sat Dec 19 02:40:28
- leia and chewie apparently dunt really talk 2 eachother lol
The Children
Member
Sat Dec 19 04:50:39
the clothes do not make the man. doesnt apply 2 kylo ren though

Palem
Person.
Sun Dec 20 10:27:11
Saw it yesterday, so here's my take [I feel like since the whole thread is filled with spoilers, I shouldn't need to say that this will have spoilers, but the good samaritan in me has to say it, so Spoilers]






The Good:
-I was incredibly happy to see humor (and not incredibly shitty, forced, 8-year old humor), find it's way back into the Star Wars universe. That was one of my biggest gripes with the prequels. I don't need a "comedy", but little funny things happening throughout the movie go such a long way in keeping an audience engaged.

-Along with that, I was surprised how much I liked bb8. He was in almost the entire movie and I really didn't get tired of it. Coming in I expected bb8 to be more of a Jar Jar character (introduced to keep the children engaged), but it really didn't feel out of place at all.

-Some people are complaining that this is just a glorified New Hope reboot, but I actually like that it was a glorified New Hope reboot. It sets up a trilogy, while still being a really good movie.

-I've never been a J.J. Abrams fan, so I was really worried that he would do what he does with a lot of his movies. Takes a thing that's already cool and tries "inject" too much cool in it to make super cool and it winds up just being a stupid piece of shit. I was really, really, really, happy that that didn't happen here because it would have been really easy to do. He kept things really simple in the Star Wars universe and I think that was the best approach he could have gone with.

-There are plenty of other things that I could go on about that I loved, but let's move on.


The Bad:
-"Big Death Star" is kinda lame. It was kind of cool that it could target a whole system and I understand that it's kind of hard to come up with "galactic" weapons that aren't at least somewhat similar to the Death Star...but c'mon lol

-I very much agree that Rey's sort of "instant" jedi stuff is kind of annoying. Part of me wants to defend it since it's not unheard of in the Star Wars universe for force sensitive people to "teach" themselves some stuff, and she would have certainly got the idea of mind-melding from Kylo Ren, but it still seemed like an rather big cop out. Are they trying to show how strong she is with the force? Because they could have made that perfectly clear in the duel that was to follow.

-Speaking of which, my absolute #1 biggest gripe of how poorly trained Kylo Ren was. Kylo Ren is supposed to be the biggest, baddest dude in the universe, and he gets out-dueled, not by 1 person who has absolutely no training with a lightsaber, but 2 people....what?! From a story perspective, this doesn't make a lick of sense because not only does Kylo Ren know that Luke is still alive (and would easily slice him to piece judging by how incredibly shitty he was a with a lightsaber), but Snuke knew that Luke was still around too, so why have your apprentice be out there completely unable to protect himself from someone that's definitely going to be coming for him at some point. Also, what were they going to do when they found out where Luke was? Send Kylo and his boys after him? LOL.



All that being said, I think this was absolutely one of the best Star Wars films to date (although an accurate placement isn't really possible until the rest of the trilogy is released). As of right now I'd only put it behind Empire.
Palem
Person.
Sun Dec 20 10:35:08
Also, I think they missed a huge opportunity with Finn. Make it so he couldn't shoot. Doesn't hit a single thing all movie. Would have been hilarious and subtle.
The Children
Member
Sun Dec 20 11:24:46
"-Some people are complaining that this is just a glorified New Hope reboot, but I actually like that it was a glorified New Hope reboot. It sets up a trilogy, while still being a really good movie. "

>> so ur perfectly happy for a new hope reboot. whats next episode 8 is empire reboot and episode 9 a jedi reboot.

i paid 4 the next story of the trilogy, not the reboot!
The Children
Member
Sun Dec 20 11:32:01
u like how the lightsabre was callin 2 rey as if it had a life of its own. a fkin lightsabre that didnt had its drivers updated 4 30fkin years
The Children
Member
Sun Dec 20 11:43:00
i mean rlly did anyone 4 one second actually bought in2 the crap that ol ben kylo ren is the son of han solo and leia wtf is her last name. where is the fkin resemblence. its fkin ridiculous, he was casted simply coz he was tall



The Children
Member
Sun Dec 20 11:43:42
one of the scariest part of the movie was when he took off his mask.
Palem
Person.
Sun Dec 20 11:50:41
Luke was guiding Rye. It was Luke's lightsaber. That seems pretty clear to me...

As far as the reboot-reboot-reboot, no, I wouldn't be happy with that. What makes me happy is that Abrams set a very clear message with Force, namely that we were going back to old school Star Wars and there's no way to make that any more clear than doing things the way they were done before. If he had set the opening planet on a lush, forest planet, would it have "fooled you" any more than setting it on another desert planet? No, everyone would just be stomping up and down yelling "OMG IT WAS JUST TATOOINE WITH A FOREST! THIS IS BULLSHIT!", so, imo, it's better to just make it obvious what you're doing.


That being said, everyone is perfectly welcome to have their own opinion. I personally think there was enough changes in it that it wasn't the "carbon copy" people are accusing it of being and that what elements it did copy were for good reasons.
The Children
Member
Sun Dec 20 12:06:52
luke aint guidin shit. he has alzheimer and spends his days starin at the ocean and an unknown grave.

if he was guidin rey, then why the fck do ppl have 2 search 4 luke in the first place

ur opinion is bs btw

luke wasnt guidin shit. his look when he stared at rey says it all

Palem
Person.
Sun Dec 20 13:17:10
"if he was guidin rey, then why the fck do ppl have 2 search 4 luke in the first place "

Because he doesn't want to be found before he can train someone.
The Children
Member
Sun Dec 20 13:44:54
bs claim

luke disappeared and why the fck wuld the empire even care if luke vanished 4ever. thats actually good 4 them.

but no, we got this bs story about he disappeared and how he shuld be found. oke, than it turns out the plans were given 2 bb8.

but later it turns out like that map is fkin useless 2 begin with since 99% of the map was held by r2d2 who conveniently went in2 low power mode all that time. what was it 10-15 years since luke disappeared.

and since bb8s map was so fkin small, why culdnt they use r2d2s map and just searched at the fkin gape in the map. how many planets culd be there anyway.

and how the fck wuld luke GUIDE rey when they have totally no contact with like throughout the movie. gtf real.

and why the fck did they send only rey 2 find luke after they got the whole map when they been desperately searchin 4 luke the whole movie.

the whole story is a fkin mess. take off ur star wars goggles and recognize the plotholes bigger than gargantua in the story. the parts of the story that was cool, was a fkin new hope ripp off so thats why it was so borin coz it felt like watchin a new hope, AGAIN.
and the parts that were new, fkin sucked. gargantua. garganfkintua.
The Children
Member
Sun Dec 20 13:47:49
and why the fck was he starin at rey with that retard look and she has her arm stretched out with his sabre and cryin her bitcheyes out (4 what exactly? she knew han solo a few days at best. tryin 2 convince me she is mournin is like tryin 2 convince me ol ben kylo ren is the offspring of han and leia. wheres the fkin resemblance)

The Children
Member
Sun Dec 20 13:53:46
and why is captain phasma aka breanne of tart so easily swithin off the shields since she was a diehard captain and prolly wuld rather die than give out. but all it took was 1 button and the shields were down. yeeehaaa. now we r talkin.

so why didnt noone think of turnin back the shields again. just 1 button.

why was the most important black op since endor being carried out by 3 people of which one is 70 years old, and the other one just defected from the empire a few days ago. he culdnt have been a double spy?

why was the attack carried out by 6 x wing fighters and why can a superweapon the size of of 20 deathstars be blown 2 bits by a small one man fighter aircraft in exactly the same way the death star got blown up.

why were there only 10 tie fighters defendin the empire superweapon hq.

what kind of fkin nonsense is that.

why didnt kylo ren just use the force and pull heavy shit like 20 feet trees 2 crush a 90 pound girl and a unconscious ex stormtrooper.

Cherub Cow
Member
Sun Dec 20 13:54:57
"and why the fck was he starin at rey with that retard look and she has her arm stretched out with his sabre"

For very good reason! They needed the actors to hold that pose so that they could get the circling pan-around shot!
Cthulhu
Tentacle Rapist
Sun Dec 20 14:17:52
What is this shit about no Darth Jar Jar?
The Children
Member
Sun Dec 20 14:19:39
theres 2 jar jars in the movie. one is called chewbaca and the other is called ol ben kylo ren.

Cherub Cow
Member
Sun Dec 20 14:21:42
Oh no, Jar Jar was the darkside force master Snoke! He was scarred by battles, his voice changed by smoking thermal detonator coils, and his face changed because it's not portrayed by Andy Serkis wearing motion tracker dots.
Cherub Cow
Member
Sun Dec 20 14:23:30
*it's [now] portrayed by Andy Serkis
The Children
Member
Sun Dec 20 14:28:51
holy fkin shit, i wuld laugh so hard is snuke is actually an aged jar jar cept with battle scars and deformed like palpatine...
Palem
Person.
Sun Dec 20 14:46:54
"luke disappeared and why the fck wuld the empire even care if luke vanished 4ever. thats actually good 4 them. "

They care because Luke is the only one capable of destroying the First Order. He was training people, then disappeared. It should be clear that he's trying to train more people...which is exceptionally bad for them.

"but later it turns out like that map is fkin useless 2 begin with since 99% of the map was held by r2d2 who conveniently went in2 low power mode all that time. what was it 10-15 years since luke disappeared.

and since bb8s map was so fkin small, why culdnt they use r2d2s map and just searched at the fkin gape in the map. how many planets culd be there anyway."

Because they didn't have R2D2's map. They didn't even know it existed.


"and how the fck wuld luke GUIDE rey when they have totally no contact with like throughout the movie. gtf real."

It's called the Force. You should look into it if you're going to watch Star Wars movies. You know, like how Obi-Wan communicates with Luke despite being dead in 2 of the fucking movies lol


"and why the fck did they send only rey 2 find luke after they got the whole map when they been desperately searchin 4 luke the whole movie. "

Why do you think they need a team of people to go get 1 guy? If you only send 1 person it's less likely to get back to the First Order where he is.


"the whole story is a fkin mess. take off ur star wars goggles and recognize the plotholes bigger than gargantua in the story. the parts of the story that was cool, was a fkin new hope ripp off so thats why it was so borin coz it felt like watchin a new hope, AGAIN.
and the parts that were new, fkin sucked. gargantua. garganfkintua. "

You gave it an 8/10, calling it a good, solid movie. You're trolling yourself lol


"and why is captain phasma aka breanne of tart so easily swithin off the shields since she was a diehard captain and prolly wuld rather die than give out. but all it took was 1 button and the shields were down. yeeehaaa. now we r talkin. "

She was being threatened with her life with no way of alerting anyone. Plus, what were the odds that something catastrophic was going to happen? This is not even remotely a plot hole lol


"so why didnt noone think of turnin back the shields again. just 1 button."

Because the X-wings were already in. That wouldn't have done anything but trap them inside.


"why was the most important black op since endor being carried out by 3 people of which one is 70 years old, and the other one just defected from the empire a few days ago. he culdnt have been a double spy?"

Han and Chewey are war heroes. Finn hadn't given them any reason to not trust him, giving them completely accurate descriptions of the base. They also didn't have a lot of options. The thing was about to fire and kill everyone. If they don't trust Finn, they fire and billions of people die. If they do trust Finn and he's a double agent, the mission fails, they fire, and billions of people die.


"why was the attack carried out by 6 x wing fighters and why can a superweapon the size of of 20 deathstars be blown 2 bits by a small one man fighter aircraft in exactly the same way the death star got blown up.

why were there only 10 tie fighters defendin the empire superweapon hq.

what kind of fkin nonsense is that."

You're exaggerating the numbers. I believe they had something like 32 X-wings in the attack, iirc. That's a perfectly reasonable number for a small bombing mission.


"why didnt kylo ren just use the force and pull heavy shit like 20 feet trees 2 crush a 90 pound girl and a unconscious ex stormtrooper. "

Because Kylo Ren wasn't/isn't a particularly good fighter. A bit of a shitty excuse, sure, but he's a bit of a shitty fighter, so deal with it lol
Palem
Person.
Sun Dec 20 14:49:41
Also, Palpatine wasn't deformed by his force lighting being pushed back on him. He was losing power and no longer able to use the for force to manipulate his appearence. The way he looks by the end of Episode III until the end of Episode VI is the way he has always looked. When he looked human, it just was ruse.
The Children
Member
Sun Dec 20 14:54:12
it was fkin obvious the old cast was way 2 old for the movie...leia cant do shit now. even the way she talked back then and now r totally different.

luke is 2 out of shape 4 this movie. and harrison ford just wants indiana jones.

they shuldve done this movie like 14 years ago. fkin george lucas.
The Children
Member
Sun Dec 20 15:03:51
"They care because Luke is the only one capable of destroying the First Order. He was training people, then disappeared. It should be clear that he's trying to train more people...which is exceptionally bad for them. "

>> wrong! luke hasnt been seen 4 years and thats good 4 the empire anyway. u dunt go lookin 4 someone who went 2 hidin and doesnt wanna be found.

"Because they didn't have R2D2's map. They didn't even know it existed.
"

>> than how the fck did bb8 know about r2d2s map. was he droid sensitive in the force.

ofc the "rebels" knew that r2d2 knows where luke is. r2d2 is his personal droidservant

"It's called the Force. You should look into it if you're going to watch Star Wars movies. You know, like how Obi-Wan communicates with Luke despite being dead in 2 of the fucking movies lol"

>> then why didnt vader ghost come out and bitchslap kylo ren.
the ghosts dont show up becoz they cant. this has been dealt with long before. there is no ben kenobi and yoda as ghosts anymore coz that shit was just temporary and shit. and sure as fck luke isnt dead yet. so no luke ghost.

"Why do you think they need a team of people to go get 1 guy? If you only send 1 person it's less likely to get back to the First Order where he is. "

>> coz leia and the rebels been lookin 4 luke long since rey even heard of luke...not 2 mention u claimed luke is the only one that can stop the empire. duh

"She was being threatened with her life with no way of alerting anyone. Plus, what were the odds that something catastrophic was going to happen? This is not even remotely a plot hole lol "

>> these were diehard stormtroopers...like fanatics die hard.

"Because the X-wings were already in. That wouldn't have done anything but trap them inside."

>> they were only in coz noone reactivated that shit. also explain how a fkin xwing can shoot at something 25 times the size of a death star and blow the whole planet up.

"You're exaggerating the numbers. I believe they had something like 32 X-wings in the attack, iirc. That's a perfectly reasonable number for a small bombing mission. "

>> a death star is a mini moon. the star killer is like 30 times the size of the usa...they went in there with like 10 xwings. 4 sure it wasnt nowhere near the numbers u claimed. i only remember seein like 6 faces.

"Because Kylo Ren wasn't/isn't a particularly good fighter. A bit of a shitty excuse, sure, but he's a bit of a shitty fighter, so deal with it lol "

>> sure he wasnt. he was only 80% completed sith. the champion of the knights of ren. can stop laser beams mid air and force pull full grown stormtroopers in2 his hand in a choke hold like darth vader. lol keep dreamin

The Children
Member
Sun Dec 20 15:21:08
nd how do u explain how the star killer has the same fkin weakness as the original death stars. at least the original death star the weakness was kinda hidden. shit was like only some sort of hole and was hard 2 hit without the force.

here its just a giant whatever that u just shoot a few lasers with from a small xwing fighter and boom goes the entire planet.

fck that shit.
The Children
Member
Sun Dec 20 15:26:33
and did they even mourn hans death. they didnt even fkin bury him.

it was straight out of the milenium falcon, leia walks straight for rey who knew han for like what 3 days. ignores chewie completely, so apparently they dunt see eye 2 eye. and she hugs rey who is like im so ubersad. ubersad what. u frikkin knew the dude for like 3 days.

The Children
Member
Sun Dec 20 15:46:30
oh yea and lets no 4get.

the original 3 cast...had no scenes 2gther. none.

the new cast. finn has scenes with rey. finn has scenes with poe. but poe and rey r strangers.

chewie interacts with rey and finn. 1 line with leia. but nottin with luke.

lol

fkin joke. and luke was a fkin false advertisin. so u waited a whole movie just 2 see 1 scene from luke and he doesnt even talk, just a weird stare. oh "hi long lost daughter, ima sorry i abandonned u long time ago"

Palem
Person.
Sun Dec 20 16:36:46
Luke was false advertisement?

The entire movie was literally about finding Luke. There was no moment in the movie that wasn't about finding Luke. Then they find him, which sets up the next movie.


Why are you so butthurt over a movie you rated as above average? lol
The Children
Member
Mon Dec 21 01:47:22
it was false advertisement. we were lead 2 believe he wuld be in da movie. not as a cameo but has a real role.

it pisses me the fck off the more i think about how bad the story is. the more i read about how others r pissed off and the gignatic plotholes the more i pissed off

tumbleweed
the wanderer
Mon Dec 21 17:39:37
just saw it

Chewbacca kickin ass at the end was awesome :p go Chewie!

my biggest gripes were the yet another death star, (hopefully IX won't have one too) and the spontaneous jedi skill acquisition


and who led you to believe Luke would be a big part of the movie? he's not on the poster, and only his hand was in a trailer
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Mon Dec 21 17:41:44
Han & Chewie actually had much bigger roles than i expected which was a nice surprise
OsamaIsDaWorstPresid
Member
Mon Dec 21 21:21:35
I fel leik i wuz cheeted out of yoda porn wear yoda and chewbaka dubble up on princes leia with sum alien cok
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Mon Dec 21 21:31:55
there should be lots of Chewbacca & Rey porn coming
McKobb
Member
Tue Dec 22 00:49:25
Don't mind the reboot, just glad he deleted the shitty ceremony scene at the end :P
McKobb
Member
Tue Dec 22 00:51:34
And the only thing I did not like was the silver commisarette storm tropper. How about making her bad ass...at least a little.
Palem
Person.
Tue Dec 22 07:37:49
Yea, if anything was false advertisement, it was Phasma, or whatever the hell her name was lol
The Children
Member
Tue Dec 22 07:58:48
even in da traile they faked lukes appearance by showin us his hand with r2d2...as it turns out it was a frikkin 1 sec image from a flashback that she supposedly got by a lightsabre that called 2 her.

how fkin bullshit is that.

Cthulhu
Tentacle Rapist
Tue Dec 22 08:30:28
Whats bullshit? The force choosing a person to influence and give images too?
The Children
Member
Tue Dec 22 08:46:51
the force aint chosin shit and 4 sure aint no 30 year old lightsabre all of a sudden have a will of its own and starts chosin people. thats bullshit crap.

never has this ever been done before in any star wars universe and u aint talkin bout some old relic here. ur talkin bout a piece of machinery that is supposed 2 be a lightsabre. thats about as accurate as sayin a piece of machinery with wires in the millenium falcon is suddenly callin 2 rey and portrayin images in her mind.

man gtfo

Palem
Person.
Tue Dec 22 10:26:23
Honestly man, it's like this is the first Star Wars movie you've ever seen lol



You're the only one here saying the lightsaber suddenly had a will of it's own.
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Dec 22 17:01:30
Rey is probably Luke's kid from when he went around banging hookers to relieve the stress of being a celebrity/hero
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Dec 22 17:04:59
"Ren's power display with the blaster shot opens interesting possibilities"

like in Spaceballs 2, Moranis will forget he was holding it and let up and it kills a trooper
McKobb
Member
Tue Dec 22 20:58:40
Watch out!
The Children
Member
Wed Dec 23 01:26:58
"Honestly man, it's like this is the first Star Wars movie you've ever seen lol



You're the only one here saying the lightsaber suddenly had a will of it's own. "

>> like lol honestly what movie have u watched that u think luke is callin 2 rey through his lightsabre... lololololol

i watched star wars force awakens.
u watched star wars, palem awakens

Palem
Person.
Wed Dec 23 18:09:26
The lightsaber has literally nothing to do with it you fucking dunce.
The Children
Member
Thu Dec 24 02:25:05
it called 2 her, u fkin dunce.

she touched it and images began circulatin her head. this bit is somewhat believable. the lightsabre callin 2 her is not.

luke had nottin 2 do with any of this shit. anyone seen luke call 2 rey. ur the only one claimin that bs.

The Children
Member
Thu Dec 24 02:27:33
she fkin walked down there in a temper tatrum moment, got "lost" and started hearin voices leadin her 2 that room and 2 that box. whats in that fkin box. luke spirit? didnt know he died. didnt know he had that much attachment 2 his lightsabre that he dropped 35 years ago in cloud city. a lightsabre he owned 4 perhaps several years at best.

u fkin blind? where did u see lukes spirit. where did u see luke use the force 2 communicate 2 her. u fkin imagined that shit. thats where. noone else saw that bullcrap. everyone else saw a lightsabre punced imagines in her head.

Palem
Person.
Thu Dec 24 10:03:36
Serious question:

Are you retarded?
McKobb
Member
Thu Dec 24 10:11:35
Force awakens project ted to do 100 million on first weekend (Jan 9) in China.
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Thu Dec 24 21:45:02
there may be a stronger case that Rey is Obi-wan's granddaughter
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Dec 24 22:41:05
For realz? I didn't even think of that.. just sort of took it for granted that she was Luke's daughter..
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Thu Dec 24 23:30:19
this has Obi-wan arguments (many apply to Luke too):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mjFfdrTJrQ
McKobb
Member
Thu Dec 24 23:49:06
What about Master Windu, mothafuckahs?
The Children
Member
Fri Dec 25 01:33:38
palem ur thge only one claimin how luke is contactin rey through the lightsabre. and ur askin me whether im retardrd. BUHAHAHAHAAA

hot damn ur out ur mind

The Children
Member
Fri Dec 25 01:43:38
read and shiver people!

"Palem
Person. Sun Dec 20 11:50:41
Luke was guiding Rye. It was Luke's lightsaber. That seems pretty clear to me... "

>> did u read that. so it was Luke who was guidin rey through his lightsabre that he lost 35 years ago durin escape from cloud city...

read and shiver. those imax googles did more than just make the screen look pretty. it deformed palems mind and thoughts.

Palem
Person.
Fri Dec 25 06:58:45
Again, you're the only one talking about the lightsaber.


Luke is guiding Rey through the force. It's not like this is something that's never happened before in the history of the Star Wars universe. Obi-Wan guides Luke through the force. Qui-Gon communicates with Obi-Wan through the force. Yoda and Anikan communicate with Luke through the force.

Kylo Ren (while in Rey's head): "You dream of an ocean. Yes, I see it. I see the island."

Let's ignore the fact that Rey's never fucking seen an ocean to be able to dream about one. What a magical fucking coincidence that Luke just happens to be on an island. Boy, anyone with an IQ over 70 might think there's something to that...
The Children
Member
Fri Dec 25 07:22:54
luke aint guidin shit. ur the only one claimin such.

obi wan never guided luke through invisible walls. we the audience actually get 2 see him. as a ghost.
same with qui gon.

when did we see lukes ghost guidin rey. oh never mind the fact that in the movie luke isnt even dead yet!!!

when did we the audience get 2 see yoda guide luke through invisible walls. never!

ur full of shit coz ur theories r shit. ur the only one on the whole fkin internet thats claimin that luke was guidin rey. everyone else saw a lightsabre callin 2 her and pouncin images in her head. no lukey, just lightsabre. the force my ass.
The Children
Member
Fri Dec 25 07:28:27
if it was luke, then we wulda seen it as such.

we wuld see his ghost or hear his voice which is familiar 2 us like how obi wan communicates with luke. and then we wuld hear religious crap like "may the force be with u" or some other bullshit.

that is absolutely not what everyone else saw. we saw her run downstrairs in a hissyfit. then strange noises comin out of somewhere. maybe her name was called once or twice in very unfamiliar voice. i dunt even fkin remember.

then we see her walk 2 the room and the box where the sabre was in was emittin some sort of sound. not human sound. not a voice. just sound like drumrolls or shit. then she opens it and touches it and images flashed by.

the force my ass!

tumbleweed
the wanderer
Fri Dec 25 10:46:01
more support for the Obi-wan theory, maybe he gave her the old "use the force, Rey" whispering


or maybe she's Jar Jar's sith apprentice, just pretending to be a scavenger, all to get to Luke and kill him
Palem
Person.
Fri Dec 25 11:38:48
@TC - Name me one instance in the entire 6 movies prior that any inanimate object ever called out to anyone?

Your argument is that because you've never seen this exact instance of someone guiding someone else through the force that it's impossible, but yet somehow your own completely retarded interpretation must be correct, despite it failing your own test.
Palem
Person.
Fri Dec 25 11:39:47
Oh, and for what it's worth, it could certainly be Obi-wan guiding her as well. I'm just saying Luke because that seems to be the direction they were trying to push on the viewer.
Palem
Person.
Fri Dec 25 11:42:30
Oh and for what it's worth, she didn't run downstairs in a hissy fit. You know why she went downstairs?


Because she heard something. Almost as if something was talking to her...hmm. Need to me keep going dumbass? lol
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Dec 25 13:41:13
"Almost as if some[***thing***] was talking to her."

Like a lightsaber?? Checkmate, atheists!

Palem
Person.
Fri Dec 25 14:19:12
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUYw0oNrv7w
The Children
Member
Sat Dec 26 05:17:41
u r as dumb as they come.

she was being called by sounds comin from a small box. now unless lukes ghost is somehow trapped in a small box

how the fck wuld anyone even link luke or obiwan 2 this. its clearly the box that is emittin the sound. u r delusional if u think this somehow ties 2 jedi ghosts callin 2 her coz the force is a mysterious religious mumba jumba power rofl

and let me say this, if it was the storys intent that it was obi wan or luke callin 2 her, then it was extremely and extremely badly portrayed executed, shown.

nowhere throughout the story was it even hinted about luke callin 2 rey. fck u must be dumber than bricks 2 think that everyone is lookin 4 luck but luke somehow has this warm cozy fuzzy connection 2 rey through his lightsabre he lost eaons ago...

buhahaha dumber than bricks i tell ya. so how does luke know where his lightsabre is. how does he know rey is close. how does he knows all this shit. he is a fkin jedi knight. not a sentient telepathic god.

if he knows all this shit, how come he cant find the millenium falcon. why cant he sense where the death star is by himself. why cant he sense where the emperor is by himself.

4 fuck sake u r dumb.
The Children
Member
Sat Dec 26 05:21:44
so everyone in the story is lookin for luke but luke already knows where rey is and somehow has this cozy relationship with her that he can speak 2 her through 10000 of lightyears of space am i rite.

where do u get this connection between rey and luke. it was only hinted that rey has a connection with someone important. nowhere in the story did they outright say she is the daughter of whoever.

so why the fck wuld luke even be able 2 speak 2 her and why hasnt he done so in all her life growin up. not one fkin once but all of a sudden she meets chewie, han and now luke is telepathically communitcatin with her.

right...u on mushrooms or something.
The Children
Member
Sat Dec 26 05:26:15
the sound clearly came from the box and not from her head as in luke talkin 2 her.

how the fck else wuld she walk 2 that room and open that box. its coz the sound came from that stupid box duh! she opened the box coz there was sound comin from that box and thats where the lightsabre was, not where lukes ghost was.

she didnt get images, flashbacks or whatever from lukes voice. she got them from touchin that stupid piece of lightsabre that luke lost like 35 years ago!!!!

and hasnt found ever since!!!
Palem
Person.
Sat Dec 26 10:58:50
I've already explained where the connection to Luke is. I can't help you.

I suggest you go watch Kung Fu Panda 3. That might be more your speed.
The Children
Member
Sun Dec 27 01:42:40
ur explanation sucks.
u got the intelligence of a 10 year old. go back 2 ur life of [kim/bieber] mtv shows




Palem
Person.
Sun Dec 27 09:11:43
"ur explaination sucks" = I have nothing better to say but I need to disagree with you.


The only thing that sucks worse than your opinions on understanding Star Wars is your ability to troll.
The Children
Member
Sun Dec 27 16:00:32
damn ur stupid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZV22S4qBaE

1:23 did she say luke called 2 her or did she say the lightsabre called her.

u just got owned turd. haha

also if ren is such a badass who can read minds and shit, why didnt he read the old guys mind before he slayed him.

haha go back 2 ur reality tv soaps


The Children
Member
Sun Dec 27 16:03:04
haha the movie literally tells u it was the fkin lightsabre that old piece of shit that luke lost 35 years ago that old piece of tech that suddenly began havin a life of its own and started callin her.

haha do u got anything else 2 say, dumbass. u got owned. badly. just humiliated.
earthpig
GTFO HOer
Sun Dec 27 16:15:35
Pretty sure Luke both guided Rey to his lightsaber AND switched R2D2 on.

He wanted to be found at this point, and wanted his lightsaber, and wanted an apprentice.

I wouldn't even assume he's been on that planet the whole time. He left the map to where he would be when he wanted to be found.

You and I have to use fedex or pick things up and email to communicate, ol Luke just reaches out with the force and has things hand delivered to him.
earthpig
GTFO HOer
Sun Dec 27 16:16:14
Of course it will come to light that Rey is a Skywalker. Luke's cousin or something.
The Children
Member
Sun Dec 27 16:17:22
then read above and know u just got pwned 2.

earthpig
GTFO HOer
Sun Dec 27 16:18:57
"where do u get this connection between rey and luke. it was only hinted that rey has a connection with someone important. nowhere in the story did they outright say she is the daughter of whoever."

Literally the entire franchise is about the Skywalker family/dynasty. Every single installment, including the shitty prequels, is about the Skywalkers.

She is going to be the main character of the next movie, ergo she is a Skywalker.
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sun Dec 27 16:47:45
i think Chewbacca is the main star of the story, he's on track to be in the most movies

...if we can kill off C3PO
McKobb
Member
Sun Dec 27 16:57:25
Not gonna happen. He got the red arm. Ask any Irishman what that means.
The Children
Member
Mon Dec 28 01:26:34
lol just unreal skynet nazis deleted video already.

but let me recap what it said just 4 the stupid ones among u.

chick with big eyes and glasses: "that lightsaber belonged 2 luke. it belonged 2 his father before him. and now its CALLIN 2 u"
rey: *confused mumblin*

you = fkin owed

The Children
Member
Mon Dec 28 01:29:16
"He wanted to be found at this point, and wanted his lightsaber, and wanted an apprentice"

>> oh ok dumbass. so since he wanted 2 be found then why didnt he come out of hidin then. why does it have 2 be rebels who need 2 find him. why cant he find the rebels since the rebels dunt know where the fck he is but he apparently has telepathic powers and knows exactly where rey and han r.

fck off fanboy
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Mon Dec 28 01:33:50
they should've made him fat & swinging in a hammock waiting for pick-up
McKobb
Member
Mon Dec 28 02:50:53
Or have a bloody robot hand.
Damian DB
Moderator
Mon Dec 28 07:31:51
anyone else feel dumber constantly reading u and ur instead of you and your/you're, and 2 instead of to? r instead of are, fck instead of fuck. words with letters missing, or is this just the old man in me?
The Children
Member
Mon Dec 28 07:33:03
it just u

this is how internet r, boy. get with the times.
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Mon Dec 28 10:34:30
he's better than [urban] facebook
"Rain hard dnt no waa 2 du & not goinq 2 sleep kuzx wide a wack...!!"

(that's a real post)
Palem
Person.
Mon Dec 28 12:07:42
"chick with big eyes and glasses: "that lightsaber belonged 2 luke. it belonged 2 his father before him. and now its CALLIN 2 u"
rey: *confused mumblin* "

You forgot a line:
chick with big eyes and glasses (Maz Kanata): "I am not a Jedi, but I do know the Force."

Your own evidence of my being wrong proves I am right lol. The Force is being used to guide Rey.


">> oh ok dumbass. so since he wanted 2 be found then why didnt he come out of hidin then. why does it have 2 be rebels who need 2 find him."

Do you even know where he was? He's in the one place left in the entire fucking Star Wars universe that would be haven for Jedi and a good place to train an apprentice.....and wouldn't you know it. Out of all the rebel leaders who went to find him? Rey...a possible Jedi apprentice.

what
a
fucking
coincidence
/s
The Children
Member
Mon Dec 28 12:29:43
ur desperation is now startin 2 show as u r downright lyin now.

that is not what she said at all. she said that about something else entirely. has nottin 2 do with the visions or the voices that called her 2 that room. ur either stupid as a brick or ur lyin ur ass off.

as 4 lukes where abouts. ur as dumb as a dried fish. who the fck cares where luke is. that is not even the point. the point is that u claimed he was in contact with everyone else like some sort of divine god. in fact, that is not even what jedi is about. a jedi is not a god. not a sentient being. a jedi is just a stupid dumb knight with special force like powers. u stupid fck.

there is about 0% chance luke has direct contact with anyone that is lightyears away. in fact, if u even read any of the star wars books u wuld know that none of the jedi that appear in them have ever behaved like some sort of sentient god that feels everything.

the only time a jedi can sense someone around and with sense u gotta take that shit with a grain of salt. coz apparently ren can sense han solo but not when he was standin behind him on the bridge.

its a load of ludicrous bullshit. in fact george lucas just added that asian mystic shit in 2 make luke and vader appear 2 special.

luke callin 2 rey is a load of bullshit crap. since he wuld never have such connection with rey. and even if he did, he never called out 2 her. if he did, he wuldnt have stared at her at the end as if he has alzheimer "goa goa goa who r u why u holdin that saber in ur hand who am i goa goa goa"



The Children
Member
Mon Dec 28 12:36:20
actually i do recall this one time where he called out 2 leia now that i think about it. and durin that time it was made perfectly clear that he was callin and that it was him.

nowhere in that scene in force awakens did u get 2 see that it was luke callin. nottin even hinted as such. and if it was luke, rey wuldnt be mumblin and babblin as if she was in shock.

that was just voices comin from a box and if luke called 2 her, why wuld she have visions when she touched the lightsaber. wtf does she have 2 do with that lightsaber. owned. she got nottin 2 do with that lightsaber since it was never hers. she has no history 2 it. owned.

the only way that wuld work is if somehow it was the lightsaber that was callin 2 her. in which case u wuld make it special. and 2 make that case u got this woman made or whatever her fkin name is tellin u, the stupid viewer, that the lightsaber belonged 2 anakin, 2 luke and now calls 2 her, rey the 1 minute jedi.

if luke was the one callin 2 her, then why the fck wuld she get visions from touchin that lightsaber. do u get visions from playin with ur dads discman player. when u touch ur dads cloths, do u get visions. fckin hell u r such a stupid fanboy.
Palem
Person.
Mon Dec 28 13:48:47
1. George Lucas has absolutely nothing to do Episode 7, aside from it being a movie based in his universe, with his characters. The story and details he imagined as the story continued is no longer canon as of Disney's purchase. So anything he has to say about the story moving forward is worth absolutely dog shit.


2. There isn't anything indicates it's look who is contacting Rey? How about the fact that she see's Luke in her visions? How about the fact that she dreams every night about the exact location where Luke is?

3. I didn't say Luke was in contact with everyone. I said he was guiding Rey through the force. Something completely plausible in the Star Wars universe. It's not like it's a phone call:
"Yes....Rey? Yes......Can you hear me? This is Luke! I SAID THIS IS LUKE! Ok good, You need to help that BB8 unit....great. Talk to you later."

4. "why wuld she have visions when she touched the lightsaber. wtf does she have 2 do with that lightsaber. owned. she got nottin 2 do with that lightsaber since it was never hers. she has no history 2 it. owned."

Good question, but with plenty of possible answers:
1. She's Luke's daughter/family
2. She's Anakin Skywalker reborn
3. Luke created her through the force
4. Obi-Wan raped Anikan's mother before she died and started another line of hyper-force-sensitive "Skywalkers"

Or any other number of bat-shit, but still completely possible answers.

5. "who the fck cares where luke is. that is not even the point."

That's literally the entire point of the movie. You sat there for 2 hours to find out where the hell Luke was lol
Palem
Person.
Mon Dec 28 13:51:45
Also, bacon. Go make another thread. I have no problem making you look like a full blown retard for another 2 years until Episode 8 is released, where you can claim it's total dog shit and give it a 9/10.
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