Utopia Talk / Politics / 55 Gallons of lube

Aeros rank	Sat Dec 29 09:16:07 2012 The product reviews are golden. Fred would approve. http://www...er-based+lubricant+-+55+gallon
roland rank	Sat Dec 29 09:29:13 2012 Oooo....kkkk. Why are you looking for this?
OsamaIsDaWorstPresid rank	Sat Dec 29 09:33:24 2012 prolie has sumthin 2 do wit his brokin ashole mebe he neds 2 lube it up evarie tiem he neds 2 taek a shit
Sam Adams rank	Sat Dec 29 09:38:49 2012 "Why are you looking for this?" obamas inauguration?
Hot Rod rank	Sat Dec 29 13:23:17 2012 A better question is, why wouldn't Aeros look for that?
FUCK YOU FAG rank	Sat Dec 29 14:06:30 2012 TC commented, too: By Choppedlow - See all my reviews This review is from: Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon (Health and Beauty) I must have a smaller penis than the rest of you because the hole is too big for me to get any satisfaction. Might I suggest that they cut a smaller hole in the side? It would also help with trying to get into position. Besides that, it works well as a door stop.
Fred Felcher rank	Sat Dec 29 15:28:01 2012 http://www...0982713223/ref=cm_cr_pr_sims_t
Im better then you rank	Sat Dec 29 16:46:02 2012 Only 3 left in stock?!?!
Aeros rank	Sat Dec 29 18:54:08 2012 lol As a prison warden I have a very difficult job, a job that consists of being constantly hated, but I do try my best to make prison life more bearable for inmates, such as the weak ones who committed smaller crimes like drug use and DUI's, so you can Imagine my relief when I found this product. Prison life has never been more enjoyable! The smaller inmates are always cheerful and this product in no time pays for itself.
Billah rank	Sat Dec 29 19:10:54 2012 lol wow
Jesse Malcolm Barack rank	Wed Jan 02 04:50:22 2013 who the fuzz would spend $1,263.80 on lube
Aeros rank	Wed Jan 02 04:51:20 2013 A Prison Warden apparently :P
river of blood rank	Wed Jan 02 04:56:12 2013 Man, that's a lot of lil Davey rapin'.
river of blood rank	Wed Jan 02 04:58:49 2013 Hot Rod is the reason there's only three drums left.
Cloud Strife rank	Wed Jan 02 04:59:33 2013 People who buy lube in bulk.
Im better then you rank	Wed Jan 02 05:03:21 2013 I don't see an exp date. That can last a good 20 years.
Im better then you rank	Wed Jan 02 05:27:14 2013 I literally wet myself when I read this review. OMG THIS LUBE RUINED MY LIFE!!!!!!!!, March 12, 2012 By Sam I Am (Behind you) BE WARNED, this seller WILL NOT accept return of opened and partially used barrels, no matter how dire the situation. I totally did not intend to buy the lube. It was Fruedian slip meets "Buy Now" button. It's a long story, but my therapist had suggested that instead of acting upon my uncontrollable urge to masturbate in front of farm animals, I should instead desensitive myself to the items from which such urges arise in a controlled environment. Yeah, I know, I didn't think it would work either, but what did I have to lose except another indecent exposure arrest. So, there I was, trolling Amazon, my "safe, controlled" environment. I don't quite remember what happened. One minute I was looking at horse masks and feed bags and the next I was standing in Juan Alvarez' cow pasture with my pants around my ankles (again!). I must have blacked out or something. I finished what I was working on, then got the funk out of there. I thought I was in the clear. But ... Then 7-10 days later I roll out of bed around 2:00 p.m. to find this behemoth on the front porch. WTF? I pull the packing label off the barrel and find it rightfully addressed to me. Trying to find a logical explanation, I run through my Amazon account and there, in between my Yodeling Pickle (best purchase EVER!) and Porker's Monthly, was a charge for $2,039.99 for a 55-gallon barrel of lube. I had to move the thing, my kids' case worker was due for a home visit (I needed to show that I could now provide a safe and stable (stable LOL!) home environment), and my mom was going to be home from work in a few hours. The thing was, I couldn't move the barrel! I tried to tip it over on its side, but no dice. So, I got a bucket and started pumping the lube out of the barrel to lighten the load. (For future reference, a little bit of lube will not clog a tub drain, but a whole lot will.) This was seriously taking forever. I started bailing bucket-fulls into the front yard. FINALLY, I could tip the dang thing over. I made it halfway down the front steps when I slipped in a freaking oil slick of lube. I went ass over ankles and landed on my back at the bottom of steps and the barrel landed on top of me, pinning me to the sidewalk. Some of the neighborhood kids, who were walking home from school, gathered around and tried to roll the barrel off of me. OF COURSE, who should pull up THEN but the case worker. GREAT! She already had it in for me, having found my Porker's Monthly on the last visit, and then this time finding, what she wrote up in her "report" to be me trying to "hide" my "sexual paraphenalia" using "unconsenting minors." Sure, when you write it like that, it's going to look bad. So once the police finally leave, and the rest of the hubbub dies down, I contacted Amazon about returning the lube. BUT THEY WON'T TAKE IT BACK. I'm one seriously unhappy customer.
Cloud Strife rank	Wed Jan 02 07:19:20 2013 Gold.
Im better then you rank	Mon Jan 07 06:52:53 2013 indeed
obaminated rank	Mon Jan 07 08:25:56 2013 That was great .
Im better then you rank	Wed Jan 16 06:48:47 2013 ttt This thread won't die.
superdude rank	Wed Jan 16 20:19:48 2013 I think Obama is gonna all 55 gallons cause he's gonna ram a hell alot of this anti-gun crap up the ass of the American people.
Im better then you rank	Thu Feb 14 19:08:19 2013 What like background checks? Anyway I'm gonna get some for Valentines day.
Im better then you rank	Thu Feb 14 19:14:17 2013 I was a shy girl in high school. Unlike my best friend, I didn't lose my V-card until I was 17. With the culture of 16 and Pregnant, I felt that I had missed out on the American dream--pregnancy scares, Vodka binges, and not remembering most of my formative years. It was obvious that I have almost a decade of drinking and sex to make up for. When I saved up enough money for college, I decided sexual education had to come first. I ordered the lube about a year ago, and waited with baited breathe for it to be delivered. When the lube arrived my school was not too happy. I told them I bought it for my squeaky doors. I am not sure if they believed that I would be using 50 some odd pounds of lube for the doors. Sister Catherine just shook her head. Father McPatrickson came by, demanding to test the lube for "sin and the devil." I gave him a few gallons and he waltzed right back out the door, heading for Sister Catherine's room. I could hear them testing the bed for almost six hours. I am glad they ended up finding the squeak, because it was driving us all insane. So purchasing this lube was a huge mistake. The biggest I ever made in my life. I was going to have a moment to myself, but the moment it soaked into my skin was the moment I began to see... them. Shadow people? Flickers of light? The naked ghosts of so many old people. They were all drawn to the lube, their repressed, angry spirits crying out for sexual satisfaction. I tried to rub it off, but its like the lube had a mind of its own. I could see them, and the more I tried to escape, the more obvious it was that they were not going away. For the last three weeks I have been witness to the orgies of the undead. They talk to me, but mostly they give me tips on my performance, and tell me I need to hit the gym. I am terrified and unsure what to do. I would use the power to my advantage, but I don't think people would appreciate knowing Uncle Albert has a thing for women in galoshes and yellow rain hats. So, I can only hope that they will leave me alone soon. I have given the lube to Mrs. Briggens down the street, who is expecting triplets and wants to be able to slide those little suckers out. Either way, don't buy the lube--it is filled with evil.
Im better then you rank	Sat Mar 09 18:29:21 2013 ttt
im better then you rank	Mon May 13 06:19:17 2013 ttt
Canadian rank	Mon May 13 07:29:34 2013 Fuck necromancy
Hood rank	Mon May 13 07:49:17 2013 you'd need a lot of lube for that...
Camaban rank	Mon May 13 12:51:36 2013 Like... 55 gallons of it?
im better then you rank	Thu May 16 16:29:23 2013 Down to only 2 left.
roland rank	Thu May 16 16:46:16 2013 let's be honest, who bought it?
Im better then you rank	Sun Aug 18 03:48:45 2013 Only one drum left!!!!!!!!
Fred Felcher rank	Sun Aug 18 04:05:03 2013 SON OF A BITCH!!!
cthulhu rank	Sun Aug 18 07:29:26 2013 on the subject of who actually buys this, porn sets probably
Aeros rank	Sun Aug 18 21:42:38 2013 Brad and I will be Grand Marshals at this year's San Diego Pride Parade, and we were looking for just the right touch to add a bit of pizazz to our appearance. So when we stumbled across the PASSION NATURAL WATER BASED LUBRICANT - 55 GALLON drum, we felt we'd struck gold: "Just enough volume to soak an entire parade of spectators, and yet fits easily in our float." Double win. Now, how to spray the lube on the excited on-lookers? Why, by water pump gun, of course. To test out our delivery mechanism, we purchased a drum for our back yard and set up a slip and slide. I had Brad charge toward me down the slide, and I fired at will. It helped to imagine he was a Klingon Bird of Prey: Target that explosion and FIRE. What I didn't expect was that Brad's forward momentum would cause him to crash into me, upending the entire drum along with us. Utter chaos. Our unfortunate cats, who had come out to judge our activities as cats will, were caught in the deluge. Looking like drowned rats, they howled and sped around the yard in hysterical circles, then tried for ten minutes to climb a tree. Once again, the neighbors thought we'd set something on fire, so the LAFD arrived shortly afterwards. Try explaining any of this to a stranger, especially a hunky one in uniform. "Hose me down?" I offered. He kindly did, then retrieved our cats out of the tree with only minor scratches to the face. (They still aren't speaking to us, by the way.) Bottom line, we decided against soaking the Pride Parade revelers lest it create an "incident" that could upstage us entirely. But we do have a great new weekend fun activity.
Rugian rank	Mon Aug 19 15:48:48 2013 It's the thread that refuses to die. lmao Not that it deserves to, mind you. Some of this shit is hilarious.
Im better then you rank	Sat Oct 12 18:05:04 2013 Good god I'm gonna lose the lube race
Im better then you rank	Tue Nov 12 23:51:30 2013 ok now there is 10 left.
Valishin rank	Wed Nov 13 03:11:47 2013 If the ghost busters soak the statue of liberty with this stuff would she end up doing a porno?
chuck rank	Wed Nov 13 04:25:52 2013 Trifecta
Forwyn rank	Wed Nov 13 04:26:37 2013 gotta keep it going
kargen rank	Wed Nov 13 04:32:18 2013 Bastards! Now I have a damn song in my head that will not go away. 55 gallons of lube on the wall, 55 gallons of lube... Sometimes I don't like which way my mind wanders.
Hood rank	Wed Nov 13 04:32:58 2013 take one down, wank around, 54 gallons of lube on the wall.
Cloud Strife rank	Wed Nov 13 04:43:07 2013 A gallon per wank is not a good exchange rate.
Ork rank	Wed Nov 13 04:48:02 2013 If you deal in Canada you can trade in liters, much better rate.
chuck rank	Wed Nov 13 04:55:55 2013 ttt
Cloud Strife rank	Wed Nov 13 05:16:13 2013 fo sho
Poizon rank	Sun Nov 17 06:56:40 2013 Hey Aeros you are a legend in the breakroom Julio says me you can has 3 loads a go wow 30 bucks is good!!
Im better then you rank	Mon Jan 13 20:17:59 2014 Ork won the Fantasy football league. Sam will be sending you some lube really soon.
Im better then you rank	Mon Jan 13 20:33:31 2014 Great conversation started, August 23, 2013 By bigbub - I have a lot of parties at my house, and there is no better conversation starter than a 55 gallon drum of lube next to your american girl doll collection.
Im better then you rank	Tue Jul 01 05:15:13 2014 ttt
Hot Rod rank	Tue Jul 01 05:32:39 2014 You still trying to get someone to use that lube on you? Shame on you.
Rugian rank	Tue Jul 01 20:34:41 2014 Is this shit STILL available for purchase?
jergul rank	Tue Jul 01 21:45:46 2014 Its on sale for 909,79!
Im better then you rank	Wed Jul 02 01:07:07 2014 +$527 shipping. Pretty steep
Im better then you rank	Sat Sep 20 09:42:29 2014 Now It's $909.73 Who knew lube prices would fall this quickly.
Ork rank	Sat Sep 20 15:38:07 2014 More proof that there is no inflation and Obama has fixed the economy.
Hot Rod rank	Sat Sep 20 16:41:22 2014 Try doing some grocery shopping.
Fred Felcher rank	Sun Sep 21 02:05:27 2014 "Now It's $909.73 Who knew lube prices would fall this quickly. " The price was guaranteed to slip quite a bit.
Im better then you rank	Sun Apr 19 16:12:34 2015 back up to $1203
Ork rank	Sun Apr 19 17:09:51 2015 Thanks Obama.
Im better then you rank	Wed May 13 19:16:57 2015 $1310 but free shipping Who knew lube prices were this volitale
Aeros rank	Wed May 13 19:56:42 2015 Wall Street banks short selling lube futures. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Rugian rank	Wed May 13 20:04:13 2015 At this rate, I can just wait for the next recession and pick up this stuff on the cheap. Come on BofA, dole out those subprime mortgages!
Ork rank	Sat Jan 16 03:25:20 2016 http://mas...litia-dildo-lube/#QI2uPoATsaqa A Chicago-based designer just sent 55 gallons of lubricant to the Oregon militia, after they complained about receiving a large dildo and a bag of penis-shaped candies earlier in the week. bahahaha
Aeros rank	Sat Jan 16 03:29:25 2016 I love this thread.
Rugian rank	Mon Aug 22 21:21:58 2016 Now it's fallen to $832.28. Looks like the post-recession growth is officially nearing an end.
Forwyn rank	Mon Aug 22 22:25:08 2016 Thanks, Obama
Aeros rank	Tue Aug 23 06:39:05 2016 Volatility in the price of Lube would make an interesting dissertation subject for a Masters of Economics.
smart dude rank	Tue Aug 23 07:58:09 2016 Sure. It would be just as useful as any other econ degree, anyway.
smart dude rank	Tue Aug 30 01:41:51 2016 Be careful guys, it could be a trap http://edi...er-acid-sydney-trnd/index.html
CrownRoyal rank	Tue Aug 30 02:12:13 2016 "CNN)A 62-year-old man has been arrested after he allegedly filled a lubricant dispenser with hydrochloric acid at a gay club in Australia." Oh ffs this is fuckin cruel
Canadian rank	Tue Aug 30 02:33:12 2016 Dunk his junk in HCl. Hell, give him an enema of some too. Seems like fitting punishment.
Aeros rank	Fri Nov 11 07:51:07 2016 Lube prices have spiked in response to the Trump election. Up to $999 a barrel. Not sure if this is due to a major spike in gay consolation sex or a plan for fucking everything to death.
zavyx rank	Fri Nov 11 08:16:52 2016 I'll bet if I just dive right inside that drum, then I'll come out so slippery, I'll be able to slide right up inside someones bunghole, and craw around - it would be a bit like cave diving with uncle stinky.
jergul rank	Fri Nov 11 08:53:12 2016 Lube futures!
obaminated rank	Fri Nov 11 09:38:08 2016 When did zavyx go full crazy?
zavyx rank	Fri Nov 11 10:37:26 2016 I took the brown acid> DONT TAKE THE BROWN ACID!!!
Im better then you rank	Tue Dec 05 08:04:52 2017 YOUR NOT MY SUPERVISOR!!!
Im better then you rank	Tue Dec 05 08:17:02 2017 WTF?!?! $1458 outragerous
yankeessuck123 rank	Tue Dec 05 11:52:39 2017 Sooo how many gallons of lube can I get with one bitcoin?
Hot Rod rank	Tue Dec 05 12:36:40 2017 Why don't you just go to the drugstore and get a tube of the stuff?
yankeessuck123 rank	Tue Dec 05 12:43:59 2017 Because the drugstore doesn't take bitcoin.
Hot Rod rank	Tue Dec 05 12:47:07 2017 Don't you have any real money?
yankeessuck123 rank	Tue Dec 05 12:49:28 2017 All money is worth what one can receive in exchange for it.
Hot Rod rank	Tue Dec 05 13:00:19 2017 Then you have solved your own dilemma. "Because the drugstore doesn't take bitcoin."
yankeessuck123 rank	Tue Dec 05 13:01:50 2017 Worth $0 at the drugstore, but worth $11,000 elsewhere. Who is wrong?
Hot Rod rank	Tue Dec 05 13:04:48 2017 So, sell it for $11,000 and trot off to the drugstore. Problem solved.
yankeessuck123 rank	Tue Dec 05 13:08:30 2017 Now there's a plan.
Hot Rod rank	Tue Dec 05 13:26:59 2017 :)
Aeros rank	Sat Jan 27 02:22:33 2018 Lube prices are way up in the age of trump. Probably to sooth all the angry assholes. Currently at 1,450 dollars a barrel. Free shipping for prime members.
Im better then you rank	Tue Dec 24 07:27:49 2019 Its down to $1000
Habebe rank	Tue Dec 24 09:54:13 2019 Hownold is this thread?
TJ rank	Tue Dec 24 23:05:28 2019 Looks to be with in the proximity of 3 years from a post in the thread. Aeros Member Thu Nov 10 23:51:07 Lube prices have spiked in response to the Trump election.
Pillz rank	Wed Dec 25 02:47:53 2019 Trump negotiated lower lube prices for liberals
Dukhat rank	Wed Dec 25 03:32:08 2019 RIP Aeros. I hope you didn't run batshit crazy white supremacist like you hinted in your last posts.
Dukhat rank	Wed Dec 25 03:32:14 2019 turn*
Im better then you rank	Thu May 14 22:02:14 2020 Its now linked to a dog.
Habebe rank	Thu May 14 22:36:10 2020 That drum of line is worth more than TC's life savings.
Im better then you rank	Thu May 14 22:42:27 2020 so ends one of the longest active thread in UP history
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