Welcome to the Utopia Forums! Register a new account
The current time is Tue Nov 20 10:06:35 PST 2018

Utopia Talk / Politics / I Think I Need Help
Asgard
Member
Fri Sep 07 09:48:10
1 - I am forgetful. My Wife tells me stuff to do, I say I will, but I don't, no matter how small or how big the thing is. A phone call, buying something on the way home, etc. It's the same with things I tell my own self to do, but I don't follow.

2 - I am argumentative to a point it's unhealthy. I may get stuck on a small insignificant to the main issue (to my counterpart's ears) and lose the main focus of the conversation in favor of something else.

2.2 - The above has other consequences, such as at my workplace, I have an assignment and I get hung over a certain aspect of it, but I don't get to the thing itself and follow it through to the end. And it's not that my main task is not interesting... I love my job and all my tasks, and I get good yearly reviews, raises, compliments etc. But these always come with a "please focus on what really matters" or "remember this is a business with a need for business results, it's not a research facility".

3 - I lose concentration quickly. I can talk to someone but then wander in my thoughts to far away lands. Not just thoughts, even visuals, losing sight of the person I am speaking to and focus instead on a memory or an imagination that popped in for some reason.

4 - I postpone things indefinitely. I may have put a reminder on phone to do this or that, but then I snooz it, and snooz it, and snooz it, and then I get rid of it.

5 - I don't finish things. I clean the house, but forget a whole room. I do the dishes, but fail to see a glass or two waiting unattended on the counter.

5 - I forgot the turn the gas off after cooking an omelet today. It stayed on low burn for a few hours, until my wife came home (I was home as well this whole time) and she went over to cook something for herself when she spotted it. She said I need help, well, here I am, confiding in the people I don't know personally, for personal advice.

I would say this first though: I took Ritalin at uni a bit, it didn't do anything. a month ago I asked my doctor for more, a higher dosage than I had at uni. I got Concerta 81 mg or 90 mg, what suites me best, to experiment with, using combinations of 27+18 mg pills. I does help, a bit, with being focused. But the stove thing, it happened on the med. I still forgot the gas on.



Asgard
Member
Fri Sep 07 09:49:04
There, I did it again, two fives. I have 6 distinct paragraphs.
obaminated
Member
Fri Sep 07 09:52:08
This won't fix your issues, but alcohol will prevent you from stressing about them.
obaminated
Member
Fri Sep 07 09:53:01
Also, when operating things like a stove, be sure to turn them off once you are done with them. do not kill your family in a terrible fire.
Asgard
Member
Fri Sep 07 09:54:47
I already do; a glass of red wine in the evening, or some liqueur. Doesn't make me less stressful. I am way too much brooding over things, all the time, including bed.
jergul
large member
Fri Sep 07 09:55:05
A clinical evaluation might land on ADHD or ADD.

But why bother? You can manage without medication from what you say, but you have to be structured and follow through on structure.
jergul
large member
Fri Sep 07 09:56:00
There is therapy for that last part, but then you would need the diagnosis to avoid paying for it out of pocket.
Asgard
Member
Fri Sep 07 09:57:19
I got evaluated with ADD prior to uni. But I think it is actualy ADHD (I used to play the drums in highschool, but ever since I quit during uni years, I still "drum" on things, such at my desk at work, or with my foot on the floor (annoys my wife)
Asgard
Member
Fri Sep 07 09:58:25
Anyway, it's way beyond ADD/ADHD me thinks. My wife says I do things on purpose to get her angry - when in all actuality I just forget, or get too comfortable in a situation.
Asgard
Member
Fri Sep 07 10:01:24
"but you have to be structured and follow through on structure."

I don't get your use of language, never have and never will. Can you elaborate, in human language? Thank you
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Fri Sep 07 10:03:21
go for excursions in the parks or woods maybe do camping for a weekend.
walk around different parts of town.
cut back on the news and politics.


superdude
Member
Fri Sep 07 10:03:58
You left the stove on and have memory issues.... Sounds like you should join an NFL pickem league or kill yourself.

http://www...hread=83240&time=1536270177254
Asgard
Member
Fri Sep 07 10:06:26
Yes. also Yoga, my doctor advised.
These are things I will start doing.
Asgard
Member
Fri Sep 07 10:07:20
Nah. I'll join you for an Ultracorps round though.
hood
Member
Fri Sep 07 10:11:31
Step 1: don't ask UP for help. The collective psychological or medical knowledge of this place is woefully inadequate for assisting you.

Step 2: lose your shit and start fights with everyone. (See how woefully inadequate we are?)

Step 3: start planting evidence that your wife is trying to kill you. This will be beneficial if she starts murmuring about divorce.

Step 4: don't be afraid of blackmail. It'll come easier as you practice.

Step 5: seriously, don't ask UP for help. See steps 2-4 as evidence.
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Fri Sep 07 10:19:57
The Stoic Emperor‏ @TheStoicEmperor · 1h1 hour ago
 More

Obsessing over your enemies will make you more like them.


The Stoic Emperor‏ @TheStoicEmperor · Sep 4
 More

Behavior reveals what speech conceals.

The Stoic Emperor‏ @TheStoicEmperor · Sep 2
 More

Living in cities distances us from the rhythms of nature and can blind us to certain truths.

It can deceive us into thinking that the social world is all there is.

The Stoic Emperor‏ @TheStoicEmperor · Sep 1
 More

Do you enter a conversation to learn? Or to hear yourself saying things you already know?

You can't learn from anyone if you never stop talking.



McKobb
Member
Fri Sep 07 10:33:49
Um, don't smoke in the house.
Asgard
Member
Fri Sep 07 10:34:29
Not smoking, never have.
obaminated
Member
Fri Sep 07 10:35:23
Hood, you killed it. that was funny
jergul
large member
Fri Sep 07 10:42:02
Creating structure is by writing down what you will be doing at specific times. Following through on structure is actually doing those things.
jergul
large member
Fri Sep 07 10:43:40
Hood is wrong. The sum of mental health issues is huge in this forum. Most of it first hand.
jergul
large member
Fri Sep 07 10:44:14
Knowledge of*
Asgard
Member
Fri Sep 07 10:45:44
Oh, then. I tried, time and again.
I tried writing down schedules down to the minute, I never got through it. Reminds me of buying calendars for school but never actually writing anything, and I envied all the (usually female) students who not only wrote in it everything, it was punctual and illustrated, colored and neat.
Asgard
Member
Fri Sep 07 10:47:21
Exactly, UP is a like an asylum.

It is an asylum actually.
McKobb
Member
Fri Sep 07 12:31:03
ויקרא יעבץ לאלהי ישראל לאמר אם ברך תברכני והרבית את גבולי והיתה ידך עמי ועשית מרעה לבלתי עצבי ויבא אלהים את אשר שאל׃
Paramount
Member
Fri Sep 07 12:37:14
I don’t think I can help you because I’m not a doctor. I can only give advise.

Okay, so it sounds like your main problem is that you lose concentration and then your thoughts and mind wanders off so that you forget things or starts to argue insignificant stuff.

So my advise here is to try to concentrate more. You may already have tried to do that. But try harder.

Keep your days simple, for a start, and see if that helps you to not forget things. Avoid long argumentation with people. After 5-10 minutes of conversation, finish it politely, change the subject or do something else.

Maybe if you have daily routines it will be more easy to concentrate and to remember things. Like, make it a routine to buy groceries on your way home. Write a list of what you need to buy. If you make it a routine, you won’t forget it. So tell your wife that from now on you are going to do all the grocery shopping. She might think that you have become crazy, but tell her to trust you. So now she is depending on you, and you will have an important mission to not let her down. This should mean that you will keep this mission in your mind all day and not forget about it, right?

Try coffee. See if that helps you to not lose concentration. Start with a coffee in the morning. Have another one at lunch or in the afternoon. Drink your coffe black and without sugar like a man, and not with milk or with different flavors and shit.

When you forget your omelet on the stove, and when you forget to clean a room, what is it that you do instead? Do you start doing other things instead, right in the middle of the cooking?
Paramount
Member
Fri Sep 07 12:42:08
McKobb
Member Fri Sep 07 12:31:03
And Yavetz called unto the God of Israel, saying, If thou blessest me, bless me, and multiply my border: and thy hand shall be with me, and thou shalt make grazing for my nerves.

- -

What do you mean ”multiply my border”? Is god going to ”give” you more land?
Pillz
Member
Fri Sep 07 12:43:26
Smoke. Not a lot at a time, just learn to keep a buzz going when you have tasks to do. You'll remember them and you'll be focused on them.

But this is only effective if say, cleaning the house or something. Don't smoke and make mental notes of what to do in 5 hours and expect it to help.
Wrath of Orion
Member
Fri Sep 07 12:53:59
There are different types and severity levels of ADHD. And the symptoms can be extreme - as bad or worse than what you're describing.

Get properly diagnosed (whatever it ends up being) by someone that actually knows what the fuck they're talking about and then start the process of finding the right meds. And it is a process for most people that includes finding the right type of med AND the right dosage.
McKobb
Member
Fri Sep 07 13:15:16
Para
Bounty, its the quicker picker upper.
Dukhat
Member
Fri Sep 07 13:57:12
Voice assistants can be a big help when remembering things. My main use for google assistant and siri is settings alarms and reminders and timers for small stuff.

Some good advice from Paramount and Jergul about creating structure and habits. Journal the stuff you feel you are doing wrong and then use an app that helps to develop habits. "Strides" is the best Apple one. Just pick a few things you'd like to improve and focus on those habits for a month. After a while, it will stick and you can move on to a new habit.

So much of our brains are wired out of habit.

And maybe try some meditation too to recenter yourself and calm yourself down. In the beginning, get someone to teach you how to do it. It helps a lot to regain focus and also to slow down time and enjoy life and the little moments without everything passing by so quickly.

And if all these thing's don't help much, maybe see a few pyschiatrist after a while and show them your journal of issues. They can give you some extra help if you feel you need it. You may be dealing with something we can't see. Doing the above stuff and still having issues will help the psychiatrist a lot in determining what issue you may have since it will allow him to rule out certain things.

All the best.
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Fri Sep 07 16:42:13
Asgard
Have you tried cannabis?
obaminated
Member
Sat Sep 08 11:01:09
Nim really wants to promote smoking weed.
Hrothgar
Member
Sat Sep 08 11:06:08
My non-professional advice, to go along with that given on the "substance that might help", is to try to calm your mind from this modern world.

- Cut electronics use to a bare minimum related to your job for awhile.

- Take the freed up leisure time that would have been spent on electronics to do things like meditate in a peaceful place. Take walks in nature away from modern machines. Sit in a quite room and just think and write by hand.

- Have talks with your wife in the no electronics in room technique. You could start by talking about this very subject so you have an intimate friend to help and that understands.

- Try using good old fashioned paper and pen planning of your day. Write out what you will work on per hour at work and what you will do not at work.

Now don't do all this stuff thinking it will be forever. But give it a try for 2 weeks and see if it helps or not. If you see positive results, then decide how to make it work longer term. If not, no big deal.
Paramount
Member
Sat Sep 08 11:31:06
”Nim really wants to promote smoking weed.”

He is also promoting the criminal gangs who are not only selling the drugs, but who are also shooting people to death and setting cars on fire.
Paramount
Member
Sat Sep 08 11:46:44
”I can talk to someone but then wander in my thoughts to far away lands.”

Maybe you are just not happy with your current life and where you are at. Maybe you just want to say ”fuck it” and go on an adventure, travel the world and live like a hippie.
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Sat Sep 08 12:10:49
Obaminated
People I know with ADHD say it helps them. It is also possible to try CBD oil which doesn’t get you high.
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Sat Sep 08 13:59:56
>>He is also promoting the criminal gangs who are not only selling the drugs, but who are also shooting people to death and setting cars on fire.<<

Get your weed from non criminal gang people.
obaminated
Member
Sat Sep 08 14:19:19
Mountme, as usual, is a moron. Weed isn't only sold by mexican drug cartels hell bent on killing random people to send a message.
Paramount
Member
Sun Sep 09 01:05:37
That’s right, turdface. Selling or using that shit is still illegal and it makes you a criminal. In Sweden you have to respect our laws or leave the country.
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Sun Sep 09 02:07:15
I fuck your swedish laws like I fuck your swedish women, svenne banan, I am a citizen. Muhahahahahahahahahahaaaaa.
Paramount
Member
Sun Sep 09 03:00:58
Okay, that’s it. I’m going to vote for the Nordic Resistance Movement now.
Paramount
Member
Sun Sep 09 06:56:06
I have voted! But I tripped and voted for the Social Democrats ;)

I have bought candy, coca cola and chips. The red flag has been hoisted. My Ipad is at 100%. The Internationale is on repeat!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=MVr0A1bGRKk

^ This is so beautiful I’m almost gonna cry.
Canadian
Member
Tue Sep 11 21:53:06
1) Write things down (get a planner)

2) Quit arguing with people/trying to win useless arguments. Works wonders with people IRL, and saves you loads of time online that is better spent anywhere else.

3) I am like this. Just trying to plan things out in an order/sequence/stages, it helps with keeping focus (see 5)

4) Quit procrastinating and just do it. Unless you're like Kaepernick, because then you'll just be SOL.

5) Be methodical about things - do things in a set order or from left to right/top to bottom - that way it's harder to miss.

5 #2) Don't stress out about fucking up - everyone does it.
jmpfce2
Member
Wed Sep 12 02:06:38
http://www...-questions-ebook/dp/B07FWDGKJ3
Dukhat
Member
Wed Sep 12 03:01:18
Fuck that new age bullshit.

The classics is always best.

https://smile.amazon.com/Meditations-Marcus-Aurelius-ebook/dp/B01N0Y7CIE/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1536739194&sr=1-3&keywords=marcus+aurelius
Dukhat
Member
Wed Sep 12 03:01:26
http://smi...r=1-3&keywords=marcus+aurelius
show deleted posts

Your Name:
Your Password:
Your Message:
Bookmark and Share