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Utopia Talk / Politics / Meanwhile in the former Confederacy
Im better then you
2012 UP Football Champ
Tue Jun 23 15:06:49

COLUMBIA, SC—Shooing away protesters from the brown, debris-covered lawn, state lawmakers reportedly refused Monday to remove the Confederate flag from South Carolina’s Capitol Trailer. “Go on, git!” said shirtless South Carolina state representative Jeff Duncan, who sources confirmed tossed an empty 40-ounce bottle of Colt 45 at a group of demonstrators while reclining in a battered, dirt-caked plastic kiddie pool. “Y’all quit messing with our capitol trailer. You ain’t never gonna see this flag come down, you hear? Now, get on outta here unless you wanna get real well acquainted with my shotgun.” At press time, a two-thirds majority of South Carolina state legislators had reportedly passed out amongst the rusted washing machine and a sink on the grass in front of the state’s double-wide trailer.
Tue Jun 23 16:09:41
Absolute fake....

You need to replace " my shotgun" with betsy.... Other than that its spot on.

I have a trailer I have to pick up over the weekend in Columbia. Should.clarify its an open bed hauling trailer.
Tue Jun 23 16:19:36
I thought it was bigoted and inappropriate to engage in crass stereotypes of entire groups of people?

Although maybe it's okay here, given the massive amount of privilege that trailer-dwelling Southern rednecks have.
Tue Jun 23 16:22:35
I'd love to see The Onion do this same story only with a black guy instead of a redneck.

They can keep the Colt 45 in part either way.
Wed Jun 24 05:02:33
Haven't tried a Colt 45 in over 50 years. Do they still smell like skunk? I couldn't get it past my nose.
Wed Jun 24 05:28:17
Yes, smells and tastes. Very sulfur/skunky.
Average Ameriacn
Wed Jun 24 05:44:03
Guns smell like freedom.
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