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Utopia Talk / Politics / Hidious bugs (ot)
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Fri Jun 26 06:53:34
EVERYTHING outside the paved city landscape is bigger and there is more of it and this African heat has drawn out all kinds of spooky shit I have never seen outside books and wiki articles.

I was just about to go and get the mail and I see this shit on the INSIDE OF THE HOUSE DOOR!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasitoid_wasp

I am very familiar with this horror film creature. So I knew right away what it was and I smashed it to pieces with my flip flops. Must have been 10 when I first read about them, and their reproductive behavior was permanently etched in my memory. They paralyze their prey and insert their eggs into the body with that long tube and then the prey wakes up and goes about his life doing caterpiller stuff. The eggs hatch eating their way out of the live and unsuspecting prey that thinks he got away. That is fucking face hugger, do not let the small size fool you. If it could do it to your children it would.

It doesn't stop with the face hugger. I had only heard through legend that there are giant hornets in Sweden, well now I know for sure - I have seen them buzzing around like Apache helicopters. I dredd the inevitable day that one of them strays into the house. I will probably call in an airstrike.

Anyone know a place that sells blast shields and laser turrets?
The Children
Member
Fri Jun 26 06:55:58
yes they lay eggs inside spiders and other creepies.

u born yesterday or what. this shits been here 4 quite a while.

as long as they dunt mutate and become 1meters tall, ur fine. unless u a pussie ass bitch.

Wrath of Orion
Member
Fri Jun 26 07:13:22
lol, triggered by a harmless wasp that is beneficial to your environment. Somehow I'm not surprised.
jergul
large member
Fri Jun 26 07:18:04
Yuck
Bloodsuckers are fine. The flesheaters are yucky.
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Fri Jun 26 08:15:30
"Anyone know a place that sells blast shields and laser turrets?"

just join nato
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Fri Jun 26 08:45:19
WoO
That’s just who I am, someone who can come here and can talk about anything, even the things I fear and dredd. It’s called being secure even in your own faggotry. I own it, you hide it like a bitch, because you seem to care what I think about you. I am totally apathetic towards your existence on these boards. You however seem VERY triggered by what breed of dog I had, what phobias I suffer from and what kind of "Intellectual" I am (lol).

Stop hiding behind this passive aggressive facade, we don't care that you have a tiny dick, that is your wifes problem.
Rugian
Member
Fri Jun 26 08:53:51
I know we normally let spelling errors fly here, but you've made this one over multiple posts.

*Dread* is a sense of extreme uneasiness in the face of a disagreeable prospect.

*Dredd* is a super cop who patrols the dystopian Mega City One in the far future, portrayed by Sylvester Stallone in one of the campiest movies of the 90s (and by Karl Urban in a much better reboot).

The more you know :)
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Fri Jun 26 09:20:32
Thank you :)
Habebe
Member
Fri Jun 26 11:28:32
Nimatzo, Here in SC its crazy, ive always been an outside kind of guy, fishing, hunting. Camping, hiking etc. But its a whole new ball game from North US to South. Mosquitos the size of mayflies. All other nasty critters that are huge.
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Fri Jun 26 12:47:32
Habeb
When I was in Iran I saw a fly, the size of a baby fist. It almost looked like a sparrow when it was flying. Insects get gnarly the warmer the weather is. And these would the flesh eating kind that Jergul is talking about.
Wrath of Orion
Member
Fri Jun 26 12:52:14
Christ, talk about being triggered again, lol. That was quite the post, but I did enjoy it.
bug
Member
Fri Jun 26 12:59:38
Don't piss me off!
Habebe
Member
Fri Jun 26 13:04:19
Nimatzo , Atleast in Iran it seems less humid, SC is somewhere between Vietnam and the jurrasic era.

Plus Persian chicks always seemed hot. Not gonna knock the red clay here though, or the slutty country girls...but in general it sucks.
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Fri Jun 26 13:09:08
And apparently I have been lied to or misunderstood the situation with spiders in Sweden. None of them are dangerous to humans, but it is a lie that Swedish spiders can't bite you. The GIANT house spider (and couple of others) can bite you and it feels like a hornet sting. Guess what the entire house is surrounded by? Yeah, they are everywhere and first I was like ok spiders, you keep the other shit away so ok. Until I went into the garage and there were 25-30 of them and they all lived up the their name.

Still ok, you guard this place, ok. Until one day I saw spider threads inside my car from one of the vents to the steering wheel. I could see it, me wrapping my car around a tree, having lost control freaking out over a giant spider on my legs. I didn't want to be the guy who died like that. They be dead now.

And now I have to kill ants as well, they are undermining the cobble stones 1 sand grain at a time! As fascinating as it is to watch them 1 by 1 carry 1 grain of sand in their mandibles and create little pyramids, it is also infuriating.
Wrath of Orion
Member
Fri Jun 26 13:15:58
Most spiders rarely bite humans. I don't know what species you've got there, but it's very likely you could put one on your arm, fuck with it for minutes, and all it would do is try to get away.
Pillz
Member
Fri Jun 26 13:25:23
Spider bites occur almost exclusively in your sleep.

Ants are the pinnacle of evolution and will be the first and only non human species to develop metallurgy.

There's no need to kill wasps either.
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Fri Jun 26 13:26:13
hErPa derP UuHM nO yOu ArE trIggereded. LÖL!
-WoO

Tweets sized posts from a tweet sized intellect.
Habebe
Member
Fri Jun 26 13:26:58
Spiders I generally dont mind, and I think I'm allergic. But we get these huge black and Canary yellow ones down here the size of tarantullas, the neighbors call them garden spiders, but at least here I don't get many of them....every other kind of bug though.

The snakes however, thats where I draw the line. I shot 9 copperheads last year. This year Ive only seen Black racers, crazy fast and still creepy but they are not poisonus and they seem to stay away from people/house more. The copperheads had a nest under some old shingles next to my dad's house.

I had a cieling poker ( 12 ft pole with a hook) and I peeled the tiles back and used buckshot.
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Fri Jun 26 13:33:45
Pillz
I feel much better now knowing that I only have fear spider bites in my sleep... !

I understand that none of these things besides the wasp/hornets can potentially kill me (I am allergic), but they look alien the move in 1 too many dimensions in unpredictable patterns and unlike all other animals they regularly sit on you! Imagine a crow flying around your face and sitting on your head. Normal animals don't do stuff like that.
Wrath of Orion
Member
Fri Jun 26 13:35:49
Actually, most things classified as spider bites by doctors usually aren't spider bites. A lot of the "I woke up with this bite thingy!" aren't spider bites.
Habebe
Member
Fri Jun 26 13:37:31
I didnt even get to the ants, fire ants everywhere... And these crazy ones the locals call cow ants. Before it rains I sprinkle this orange shit on the mounds, or for quicker results gasoline and torch them.

The wasps we get refular and the mud kind frequently. Not real bad usually, I got stung in the neck last year, odd side effect was my joints felt 20 years ypunger.
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Fri Jun 26 13:49:03
Habebe
We don't have many snakes and only 1 is venomous and it isn't that venomous, it could kill dogs and children. Just a few weeks ago I saw something strange. Two magpies were on the ground and they flew away as I approached. I saw a copper colored snake that had lost it tail and was dazed, but still alive and slowly crawled away. I thought, but snakes don't drop their tail? Turns out it was a legless lizard commonly called "copper snake".
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Fri Jun 26 13:52:51
Habebe
Oh crap this one? The velvet ant?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dasymutilla_occidentalis

There is a youtube channel called Brave wilderness, the guy goes around the world and finds the notorious insects and lets them bite him. The velvet ant (a parasitic wasp) is one of them. They look stunning though.
Habebe
Member
Fri Jun 26 14:01:09
Nimatzo, That looks like it. Luckily they are not super common here, mostly fire ants nut those velvet ones they don't crush easy, you cant just step on them either.

We get some cool critters too. Lots of wild geckos.
patom
Member
Fri Jun 26 14:26:21
Bug: "Don't piss me off"

That's what the cockroach said while sitting on the toilet seat.
patom
Member
Fri Jun 26 14:28:36
These bugs are sort of like the Parasite teaparty.
Seb
Member
Sat Jun 27 05:07:43
If it is any consolation, last summer in France was hot, and a giant fucking hornet got into my bedroom at night. Fucker was huge.

Now, for some reason these hornets are actually quite placid. Perhaps because they are solitary and don't really think of anything without wings as a threat.

But as you say, the fuckers sound like helicopters and was the size of my thumb, I wasn't going to let it wonder round my room at night.

A friend staying with us had this electrified tennis racket thing for killing flies, so I whacked with that. Fucker didn't die. I've got it pinned to the wall and blasting it with whatever high voltage this zapper can muster, repeatedly. It's just getting more and more angry. Eventually one its wings burns off so I can pull the racket away from the wall, but it's crawling around and pissed off, and I can kill it with a shoe.

The next day one shows up in the kitchen but I got that one in a pint glass with paper and let it go outside. Much more placid than wasps.

But I do recommend the electric fly zapper tennis racket thing. It was awesome for getting rid of flies.
jergul
large member
Sat Jun 27 05:53:01
I recommend cats for getting rid of flies and spiders. Not bumblebees and other colourcoded insects anymore after an unfortunate stinging incident last year.

She will still swat black-yellow-black things. Quickly and repeatedly. But has learned the hard way not to put them in her mouth.
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Sat Jun 27 06:40:23
I have the tennis zapper, an ordinary smasher thingy and bug spray. Is there anything else? Like electrified net that shoots out of a gun? Somebody should invent that :)

On the bright side yesterday I decided to not kill a daddy long legs and trap it inside a glass and release it back into the wild :)

lol we didn’t have daddy long legs in Tehran, so when we got here, I thought they were malaria mosquitoes, the bigger the more dangerous you know. :,,)
jergul
large member
Sat Jun 27 06:55:48
Or a gun that shoots out cats. 6 cat magazine. Semi auto.
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Sat Jun 27 07:25:05
And it would go mjau mjau instead of pew pew. 4 limbs with 5 claws, would count a bird shot?

We do have a lot of cats in the neighborhood, they have left a couple of dead birds on the front door. Either as welcoming gifts or as a warning, with cats you never know ;)
Last night I heard a couple of them brawl, I think our house is in some kind of kitty no man's land.
patom
Member
Sat Jun 27 08:47:02
feral cats kill billions of birds annually.
jergul
large member
Sat Jun 27 10:27:23
Yah, cats should not be allowed outside alone. The life expectancy of free roaming pets (with a home) is less than 3 years in built up areas. Significantly less for feral cats.

This above and beyond the damage and suffering those little sociopaths cause if unleashed.
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Sat Jun 27 10:42:36
"feral cats kill billions of birds annually."

keeping avian flu in check!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Habebe
Member
Sat Jun 27 12:09:06
Jergul, In built up areas* my cats have generally lived to the ballpark of 12-15 years. Several around 20, but they had issues.

I had a beagle though ( Jake) who was 19 when he passed. But he had poor eyesight and bladder control.
Pillz
Member
Sat Jun 27 12:24:16
I've had 5 outdoor cats. The ones that died did so at 11, 13, and 11.

I've had feral cats in the neighbourhood live longer than 5 years. Including one that lost a paw (as an adult) and went around on 3 legs for at least 3 years.
Rugian
Member
Sat Jun 27 14:03:48
One day they're going to genetically engineer cats and dogs to live for ~75 years. Whoever does that is going to be able to retire on his own private planet with the money he makes.
Rugian
Member
Sat Jun 27 14:06:09
On topic though...nim if bugs freak you out this much, you really should be living in an urban environment. I mean, god help you if a snake or anything ever gets into your place.

Unfortunately the world is filled with creatures that we don't find pleasant. You just have to learn to deal with them.
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Sat Jun 27 14:25:05
It is a paradox I explained last year when I made my first bug thread. I want to be near nature, but minus all the bugs.

Thing is I have no fear of snakes, not even a little, they don’t buzz around you!
Habebe
Member
Sat Jun 27 14:30:11
Nimatz, Try Cutter backwoods. 40% DEET
Pillz
Member
Sat Jun 27 14:46:31
Jergul, the deathcult worshipping communist, loves blood suckers. No surprise.


The fact is all insects except flies (all) and blood suckers (including flies) are fine. Tbh if you are allergic it probably means you deserve to die.
sam adams
Member
Sat Jun 27 19:28:41
So nimatzo... there are no bugs out when skiing.

:)
Pillz
Member
Sun Jun 28 00:32:51
I'm wondering of this has had an effect on mosquito populations in Montreal. We had dry summer last year and virtually no rain this spring with record breaking heat waves.

And no people outside, or virtually none by vs any other year. Although this is peak mosquito season so who knows.
jergul
large member
Sun Jun 28 01:11:23
Habebe
Anectdotal evidence does not change the statistic. Untended cats outside is simply animal cruelty for both the reasons I mentioned.

Pillz
I wish the Canadian school system had taught you to read. Bloodsuckers are less bothersome than flesheaters.

Nimi
I stand corrected. The cat ate a wasp. But pawed it to death first with the technique described.

Wrath of Orion
Member
Sun Jun 28 01:42:25
"Untended cats outside is simply animal cruelty"

This is true. They're also horrible for local ecosystems.

But there are lots of retards out there that refuse to believe it or just don't care. I'm sure we have some on this board.
jergul
large member
Sun Jun 28 01:56:08
WoO
I was a bit hard to convince. But thanks to reading, I was eventually able to overcome my reluctance.

I am currently amusing myself with teaching the cat dogsled commands (gee-haw-mush). Its quite motivated, so is good on a leash. Equal to a poorly trained small dog.
jergul
large member
Sun Jun 28 02:04:17
With close to a billion cats globally, they do have quite an impact. Seldom warranted. Pest control is one thing, but that is generally not what the little sociopaths do outside. They just kill stuff because they can.

Magpies are incidentally fucking smart animals. We have a lot of them here. They pester the cat, I show the leash. They stop pestering the cat. Seems they are ok with cats under control.

Seagulls and crows - not so much.

This too is anectdotal, but goes for a number of magpies (I like their colour scheme, its easy to recognized individual birds).
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Sun Jun 28 03:00:06
sam
That is one thing I enjoy. Now the fall that is another thing, when all the bugs try to hide, like in your house. We moved in october last year.

Some things are fascinating on a small scale. There was a dead fly on a window shelf that I hadn't cleaned. At night I went into my sons room and my eye for some reason went to where the fly was. It looked like it was moving. So I went closer (are my eyes fooling me in the dark?). No no it was moving and shaking. So I turned on the light. There is a little earwig, snacking on the dead fly like a little miniature of and Aliens movie, you stumbled on the Alien feeding your dog or something, I could almost hear horrible sounds 0_o WHAT THE FUCK WAS IT DOING ON THE SECOND FLOOR? That was sacred ground, it's where we sleep!

I have now cleared many many dandelions and the really big patches have an earwig at their base like 50% of the time. I have no idea if they are eating or laying eggs there, but it has made me used to them now so they do not freak me out.

I have even seen one of these (indoors),

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chelifer_cancroides

It was so tiny and cute =) when they are so small it's and called pseudo-something dangerous, it's ok.

Jergul
Now you need to create cross it with a honey buzzard and you have the "Common Norwegian Griffin".
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Sun Jun 28 03:10:36
Regarding cats
I was under the impression that they were important to keep rabbit population down in urban areas. It looks heart breaking, but they snatch little fuzzy rabbit babies, seen it myself.
Wrath of Orion
Member
Sun Jun 28 09:49:49
The damage they do far outweighs any good.
sam adams
Member
Sun Jun 28 11:36:06
"were important to keep rabbit population down"

Eagles. Get eagles.
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