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Utopia Talk / Politics / People (ot)
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Mon Jan 04 08:39:00
One minute they are here and the next one they are gone. Though, this isn't a RIP thread, it's a work progress.

I think I have always thought about death more than the average person, but without a doubt I have started to think about it more since I became a father. Like, I didn't have life insurance a couple of years ago. Once you start caring for a child you start thinking about a lot of stuff you either were not thinking about or you start thinking about them more intensely. Death is one of those things that can turn everything on its' head and ruin the best of plans! Not so much when you die, but the idea of your future death as you are planning, inevitably feeling weaker as you grow older. Suddenly a hypochondriac tendency emerges and you start to interpret every novel sensation and pain in your body as signs of something horrible and terminal, they persist and you start googling to diagnos yourself. Terrible mistake, terrible.

For about 2 months last year I thought I had lung cancer. The mind is powerful drug, the second I read "lung cancer" as a plausible cause for ambiguous symptoms like "chest pain" and "cough that doesn't go away" and "rust colored phlegm"(this one really got me)* I saw everything I love flash before my eyes and I SLAMMED my laptop shut. I avoided google diagnosing myself for weeks, which only made things worse because "cancer" stuck in my brain and I mind fucked myself really deep, I WAS dying. I would find myself starring out windows deeply in depressing thoughts, vivid and worrying scenes about my sons future. I went and signed the life insurance (I had avoided for months) and I waited for 2 weeks before I made the doctors appointment to be sure that when I died there wouldn't be issues about me knowing I was sick when I signed up.

I finally went to the doctor and it turned out that I, who was doing HIT intervalls, was not suffering from an acute disease like lung cancer. I felt like I had been given a second chance in life and not like the idiot I should have felt like. Those emotions carry a momentum and people start changing things about their life, we have all heard the stories and those things happened with me as well. I have not smoked weed for months for instance, I only eat it now. *I know weed doesn't cause cancer, but it was the culprit in my cough that wouldn't go away and the rust colored phlegm was residue being coughed back up.

I know myself and have grudgingly come to accept the fact that I am not going out quiet and somber with dignity, when I go I am going kicking and screaming, clinging on to everything I loved. In some ways though my "bout with cancer" moved things forward, signing those papers I finally accepted that I may die, if science doesn't find a cure for aging. I have still not given up on science, nor in my ability as a human to fully internalize reality as I inch forward.

Take care of yourselves friends, but most important of all, do not google diagnos yourselves.
Paramount
Member
Mon Jan 04 09:18:04
We are getting closer to death by every minute. It is a clock that is ticking.

One day the sun will swallow our planet and the sun itself will explode in a supernova. Then the universe will get stretched out so far that it snaps or burst and everything including time itself will cease to exist, and nothing will matter no more. There will never be life again.

Unless you believe in God of course. Jesus can save you. The Muslims probably has the best deal because they can get eternal life AND 72 virgins. That's a pretty good deal.

Not sure what the Jews get. Do they even get eternal life? I think it's only Jesus who can give them that.
jergul
large member
Mon Jan 04 09:20:19
Grief actually has 6 stages. Number 5.

Exhaustion. Mental and/or physical.

Do not worry overmuch about fading quietly into the night. Its almost inevitable.

Nekran
Member
Mon Jan 04 10:56:04
Our sun won't actually go supernova... it'll swallow the earth though, so the point does stand.
habebe
Member
Mon Jan 04 11:19:10
That's assuming we have not moved off this planet/milky way yet.
Average Ameriacn
Member
Mon Jan 04 11:35:34
Isn't Musk already building space ships to let us found a new USA on Mars?

If Trump would become President of Mars then I would sell my house and half of my guns to buy the ticket to Mars.
CrownRoyal
Member
Mon Jan 04 11:59:59
“ I have not smoked weed for months for instance, I only eat it now. ”

I switched to oil, not completely alas, I do still smoke joints although less frequently. But it was for same reasons, I got concerned about lungs etc
obaminated
Member
Mon Jan 04 17:55:01
i quit smoking cigars and cigarettes a year ago, well october 30th of 2019. still have a smokers cough that.

my dad had a quote i am sure he took from someone else "you either get busy living or get busy dying".

meaning, no one gets out of life alive. doesn't mean you should abuse your body but you should enjoy life while you have it.
Seb
Member
Mon Jan 04 18:35:22
Nim:

"but most important of all, do not google diagnos yourselves."

Oh yeah, don't do that. And get insurance. And remember to wear sunscreen.

Honestly, I sympathise with everything you said - one become incredibly conscious of your dependents when you have kids.

But, uh, pretty sure smoking weed is a cancerous as nicotine.
jergul
large member
Mon Jan 04 20:17:37
Burning anything creates carcinogenes. Nicotine is not carcinogenic.
Nekran
Member
Tue Jan 05 04:20:32
Pretty sure Nim vapes his weed. I do too nowadays... still not good health-wise, but definitely way better than burning it. For me it's also really helped me lose the addiction to it... I used to not be able to not smoke pot if I had it (not having any was never hard on me though). Since I got the vape for it, it's no problem anymore.
Seb
Member
Tue Jan 05 07:03:44
If he vaped, would that give you residue to cough up? I'd have thought not but I do neither.
chuck
Member
Tue Jan 05 08:04:16
> my dad had a quote i am sure he took from someone else "you either get busy living or get busy dying".

Was your dad a rock collector named Andy? This is one of the most popular movie quotes of all time behind like "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn," "I coulda been a contenda," "Hasta la vista, baby," and "ET phone home." Surely you've seen The Shawshank Redemption at some point in your life? You gotta be fucking kidding right now.
obaminated
Member
Tue Jan 05 09:31:48
Hey chuck, thanks for being a dick.
Dakyron
Member
Tue Jan 05 09:46:13
"And remember to wear sunscreen."

No, sunscreen is bad for you and the environment. Wear a hat and a long sleeve shirt if you are concerned.
chuck
Member
Tue Jan 05 12:10:39
> Hey chuck, thanks for being a dick.

No dickishness intended. It's just legit hard to believe you haven't seen it before. If you had a dataset of what people on Facebook in 2007 listed in their favorite movies section, it has to be one of the top 5 most common. You as a 30-50 year old saying you never saw it feels like if one of the Massholes here said they'd never heard of Boondocks Saints, which is why I'm still not 100% convinced this isn't some esoteric trolling attempt where you, like, pretend you don't know what a payphone is and snicker while people take time to describe it.

Anyway, you should go watch it, it's a pretty good movie and it's definitely a bit of shared culture for people your age that you have missed out on so far.
Nekran
Member
Tue Jan 05 12:31:13
I've seen it once upon a time, but I had not recognised the quote either.

I also didn't know "I coulda been a contenda".
Dakyron
Member
Tue Jan 05 13:32:50
I recognized it as a movie quote immediately, but could not place it.

And I have seen Shawshank Redemption plenty of times.
Dakyron
Member
Tue Jan 05 13:35:42
"Pretty sure Nim vapes his weed. I do too nowadays... still not good health-wise, but definitely way better than burning it. For me it's also really helped me lose the addiction to it... I used to not be able to not smoke pot if I had it (not having any was never hard on me though). Since I got the vape for it, it's no problem anymore. "

Its also better for other people since they don't have to smell the very strong scent of burning weed. Vaping was a wonderful invention, even if I would never partake.
chuck
Member
Tue Jan 05 13:53:22
Also to be clear in case you thought "was your dad a rock collector named Andy," was some kind of insult against your dead dad or his choice in quotes, it wasn't. The character who says this line is named Andy. He collects rocks.

Now stop being sensitive and go watch the movie.
patom
Member
Tue Jan 05 14:45:39
Nekran, get 'On the Waterfront' Marlon Brando. Great movie. Much better than 'Rocky'.
Dakyron
Member
Tue Jan 05 14:49:10
Meh, On the Waterfront was OK, but I wouldn't put it up there with Citizen Kane or other classics.
patom
Member
Tue Jan 05 14:50:56
Anyhow, as probably the oldest person still on this forum by almost a decade. It blows my mind that you young guys are contemplating death. It wasn't really until a couple of years ago that it entered my head very much if at all.

Quit thinking about death and think about living. Death will find us all in its own time. Life is the present and only you can live it.
TJ
Member
Tue Jan 05 16:47:29
Living in the present can be an act of impulse.
Behavior will become a product of circumstance rather than conscious choice. The result is more often than not regret.

It is good that Nim prepares for his family in the event of and untimely death. In that respect death isn't his focus, it is his family.

You've lost control of your mind if your focus becomes a fear of death, it would make a life miserable, and most likely hasten its arrival.
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Wed Jan 06 01:13:00
I was vaping 90% of the time and it started to make me cough after some years pf use, I had only heard this from someone who tried vaping nicotine, couldn’t do it because it made him cough, tobacco didn’t. I had quite a lot of sputum production and was ”death coughing” every night and pretty much every puff from the vape. I would wake up drowning/coughing. So I stopped and everything is fine .... for now. I am turning 40 this year, this is the age where my doctor starts taking me seriously :D
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Wed Jan 06 02:40:53
And as far as I have understood, you have to win the shit lottery to get lung cancer without heavy tobacco smoking. Arguably cannabis may increase the risk of cancer. That link isn’t clear, but cannabis smoke does contain some of the same carcinogens as tobacco. However you don’t smoke cannabis as often and as much as tobacco. I have never been a heavy user, despite daily use. From now in though, smoking weed will be an annual occurens for me, like drinking alcohol.

Lighting or heating up organic materials and inhaling the smoke, is ultimately a bad habit in the long run.
jergul
large member
Wed Jan 06 02:48:33
Nimi
you may want to try again. New coils are adapted to best practices to ensure you vaporize, but not burn anything.

Keep settings below 3,05V. Oddly specific, but is data driven.
jergul
large member
Wed Jan 06 02:49:38
Eating anything burnt is also a bad idea. That includes more things than you would think. For example skorpor.
patom
Member
Wed Jan 06 03:53:26
I had this chronic cough and bringing up flem for almost a year. My Dr. sent me to a pulmonary specialist. He told me to stop eating chocolate, cut down on coffee, don't eat anything 3 hrs. before bed, no alcohol.

I don't eat that much chocolate so easy to quit. I stopped snacking at night. I still have my 2 shots of whiskey at night. I cut my coffee to 2 cups in the morning. I've stopped the coughing all night. I think I'm losing weight. So far so good.
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Wed Jan 06 05:19:21
Jergul
It is likely better to vape as far are carcinogens go, but I don’t imagine it is great for my lungs. I used the lowest setting on my Pax vaporizer, I coughed less as I was vaping, but it would build up and for the chronic stuff at night, it made no difference. You are sucking down something into your lung, it will irritate, probably some more than others. Like having a constant small inflammation in your lungs, that is what it felt like.

When you smoke weed and it makes you feel physically bad, it defeats the purpose of taking it in the first place. Sensations are stronger when high, so every breath through those raw airways and every cough felt terrible. It felt out of place with everything else I am doing to be healthy.

The big irony being that smoking weed is probably the thing that made more in tune with my body and concearned with health, growing your own foods and the dreams of the ”country side”. Hippy tendencies will emerge in some people :)
jergul
large member
Wed Jan 06 07:08:28
Nimi
I suspect something related like undiagnosed astma or allergies.

But nevermind. If quitting fixes stuff, then quit.

You always have eatables. Use mayo instead of butter in the brownies recipe for magical effect. They are almost too moist, so adding savita is some form or another should round it off nicely.
jergul
large member
Wed Jan 06 07:09:46
(I was losing too much fat from that rowing machine, hence the brownie recipe:).
Nekran
Member
Wed Jan 06 07:26:42
"Use mayo instead of butter in the brownies recipe"

That sounds so fucking nasty... and I'm belgian, it's not that I'm a stranger to mayo... but yeesh.
jergul
large member
Wed Jan 06 07:41:37
Nekran
You are not thinking about what mayo is made of.

I will rephrase.

Don't use butter in brownies. Instead, add 1 ekstra egg, a dash of vinegar, and some neutrally flavoured oil like rapseed or other heartfriendly stuff.
Nekran
Member
Wed Jan 06 08:01:21
But butter is goodness... I do agree though that if you break the mayo down, it already sounds far less bad lol
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Wed Jan 06 09:36:36
Jergul, when did you become a connoisseur of edible cannabis? :D
jergul
large member
Wed Jan 06 09:42:00
Nimi
Since the 1980s. Substance abuse was very common on trawlers. My worst experience. People on speed operating winches :D
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Wed Jan 06 11:09:02
Well, I’ll be damned. High risk job and uppers go hand in hand. But it is more common than that, in working class jobs overall, meth is quite common, driving forklifts, assembly lines, truck drivers, taxi/uber, everyone and their mother takes meth
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