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Utopia Talk / Politics / dune gonna suck hard
TheChildren
Member
Mon Sep 13 15:50:52
i dunt get da hype. i dunt get da story. i dunt got da feels. da old movies were garbage.

i see big names playin in there but shit is so cringy.

Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Mon Sep 13 16:26:37
The internet has rotten your brain man, garbage in garbage out. Dune is one of the greatest sci fi stories of all time.

May god have mercy on your soul.
Habebe
Member
Mon Sep 13 18:35:37
I'm kind of with TC.Never seen the movies though, Ive seen trailers and such, but I have no idea whats going on, I get star-gate vibes.

kargen
Member
Mon Sep 13 20:22:22
The Dune 1984 movie doesn't make any sense at all if you didn't read the book.
Habebe
Member
Mon Sep 13 21:14:40
Anyone have a readers digest condensed version.Just enough that it will make sense whats going on.
Rugian
Member
Mon Sep 13 21:43:06
"Anyone have a readers digest condensed version"

-Spice

-People plotting over spice

-People getting killed over spice

-HE RIDES THE SAND WORM

-Bad guys lose

-Rain
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Sep 13 22:06:54
I'm not too happy with their casting of Dave Bautista (can't act), but good reason to be at least a little hyped is that it's by director Denis Villeneuve (Sicario, Arrival, Blade Runner 2049), and it's the first Dune movie to get a significant budget and an extended run time — it's a 2-part movie with each part exceeding 2 hours.
Crownroyal
Member
Mon Sep 13 22:29:56
I'm optimistic on Dune. Good director, solid actor lineup, big budget, this is not a first attempt so hopefully they learned something. The two part part sucks though, how long are we gonna wait for the 2nd installment
Forwyn
Member
Mon Sep 13 22:42:42
I think the two-parter bit is good for a book of Dune's length and subject matter, the story can't be told to a non-reader in two hours.

The only 4+ HPs that didn't feel rushed were the 7s
kargen
Member
Mon Sep 13 23:21:10
They should have done a miniseries out of it. Stephen King's The Stand was done in nine episodes in the 2020 version. I haven't seen it yet but have heard it kinda falls short.

With long really complex stories the way to go is the miniseries. Less and less people want to go to the theater anyway so why not go all out.
earthpig
GTFO HOer
Mon Sep 13 23:30:43
"Anyone have a readers digest condensed version"

The galactic order is feudal in nature. There is a monarchy. Under the monarchy, influential powers include hereditary noble families, witches practicing eugenics, some folks that have a monopoly on the mechanics of FTL, among others.

Technology does not include computers, because plot device: Thou shalt not suffer a thinking machine to exist. Personal shields are common, they stop fast-moving things (like bullets/lasers), but are ineffective against slower moving things (knives/swords), so hand to hand combat is alive and well (depicted in trailer, along with shields). "House atomics" preserve the peace between the noble families as well, but they have their own armies and the like.

The "oil" needed for FTL, known as spice, comes from only one planet, Dune aka Arrakis, a desert planet. Dune gives some sort of powers to the tribal native people's (Arab vibes, but not really Muslim) of the planet that aren't super well understood by the galactic community (also makes the eyes of the natives give off blue light, depicted in the trailer I just watched), and there's some megafauna that also has unusual characteristics (big worms that swim in sand). The native peoples actually proactively manage the water table on the planet, rather than deplete it. Water management overall is how the natives exist, and flourish, on the desert planet.

There's always one noble family in charge of running Dune to ensure that the spice flows, no matter the wishes of the natives or difficulty of the megafauna or impact on local ecology. Galactic civilization as we know it depends on it, the spice must flow. At the start of the book, the protagonist family is newly appointed by the emperor to run Dune, taking over from the big fat bad guy family, and the bad guy family acts like they will comply, but they have other plans...
earthpig
GTFO HOer
Mon Sep 13 23:38:41
The native people, the Fremen, don't just get blasted to hell by the technologically advanced house troops b/c they are armed/equipped to deal with the troops of other houses. The other houses have personal shields too, so no point in having ranged weapons. For some reason I can't recall, no one thinks to issue rifles to the garrison of the planet, to more efficiently deal with the natives. So they go sword to sword, knife to knife, with the Fremen, when it comes up.
smart dude
Member
Mon Sep 13 23:40:17
"At the start of the book, the protagonist family is newly appointed by the emperor to run Dune, taking over from the big fat bad guy family, and the bad guy family acts like they will comply, but they have other plans..."

So basically it's like Conan vs. Leno but in outer space.
TheChildren
Member
Tue Sep 14 01:35:26
basically u got spice which gives them special powers or something and it can only be mined from this 1 planet. which is completely colonized by invaders just 2 mine this shit.

ofc these invaders r suddenly all da good guyz, royal, noble, just and whatnot. it not them but it da bad barons that are da bad peeps even though they too r suckin da planet dry.

and on this planet be natives too. and for some reason despite having spice they somehow lack everything. they r basically savages, not strong, not smart, just underdeveloped savages. and giant worms roam around da desert, that everyone fears.

when da enemies attack these nobles running da colony, they get wiped out and our hero da kid runs off in2 da desert and he finds da savage natives. where he meets a girl, falls in love, and just like that he is suddenly a royaly amongst da natives.
also he gonna teach them 2 fight and shit. so basically whitey shows up 2 become da hero. just like how da samurai were complete shit until tom cruise showed up.

whitey kid eventually fights back da evil barons troops and ofc with da help of da natives, they eventually win and they do so by riding da giant worms in2 battle that somehow he can control. ofc da natives r completely useless living 10000s of years but never able 2 control da worms until whitey shows up.

that basically da story.
watch da old movie on youtube but be warned. its slow, boring, cringy, omg so cringe. i myself had trouble just watchin it for like 10 min.

dune gonna suck hard.

kargen
Member
Tue Sep 14 01:57:17
you should have pretended it was someone streaming while playing a game. Then you would have enjoyed it.
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Tue Sep 14 04:17:17
"but good reason to be at least a little hyped is that it's by director Denis Villeneuve (Sicario, Arrival, Blade Runner 2049)"

+1 These are really good reasons to be hyped.
TheChildren
Member
Tue Sep 14 12:14:51
looks like tc is one again correct.

them bots at ign just rated it 7/10...

we all know when bots rate shit 7/10, in actuality it more like 6.2 out of 10

lol is garbage
Nimatzo
iChihuaha
Tue Sep 14 12:53:34
You mean you decide what movies to watch based on how IGN "bots" rate the trailer?

I am not surprised, but still I am surprised some how.
Cherub Cow
Member
Wed Sep 15 21:39:44
"we all know when bots rate shit 7/10, in actuality it more like 6.2 out of 10"

I thought we had all sort of realized that whatever the critics give it is an indication of how out of touch the critics are?
So.. if the critics on Rotten Tomatoes give a movie a 30%, the movie will probably be like a 99% with fans. If the critic score gets to 95% and the audience score is 30%, then it's probably a bunch of woke garbage.

Looking at the "7/10" IGN review ( http://www.ign.com/articles/dune-review ), it's basically just one person's opinion, and he rates the movie by itself instead of as only part one of two. He basically says that he was bored (which is usually the sign of a poor mind): "it feels like a drag in its back half."

It's honestly just stupid to criticize the way a 2-part movie ends when the movie's intention is to continue directly from its stopping point. That's like complaining about the way that the first VHS tape of "Braveheart" ends... like... yeah... put in the second tape, you fucking idiot. It's almost like this fucking idiot on IGN wanted Villeneuve to manufacture a 5-act rise and fall of action into the first 2 and a half acts of the story... which.. again.. is fucking stupid. Villeneuve clearly wants to make this representative of the novel, and that means that he can't just manufacture a cliffhanger in the middle of the story.

But, one thing this IGN reviewer said when he was trying to be a sack of garbage: it's faithful to the novel, so if you liked the novel, you'll like this movie.
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