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Utopia Talk / General Talk / #UGTwit76 #Plormbo
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Sep 14 21:49:09
"This Powerful New PSA Tells Girls About Something Called Plormbo"
[Clickhole/Onion Video]
http://www...rls-about-something-calle-6660
"If you have a daughter, you have to share this with her to let her know about Plormbo. It just might be the most important thing you ever do."
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Sep 14 21:54:05
"Find Out What Giada De Laurentiis, Paul McCartney, Alfonso Ribeiro, And More Have To Say"
[Clickhole]
http://www...s-paul-mccartney-a-6670#slide3
"'The youth of today are a bunch of overweight masturbation addicts, and I like to think I'm 100 percent responsible for that.'
— Alfonso Ribeiro
On his legacy"
Pillz
Member
Thu Sep 14 22:59:23
There are people with significant collections of swords and armor and other weapons... And yeah its an expensive hobby. Most are enactment enthusiasts or work in a field related to history (like metatron)

If you want really expensive collectors scholagladitoria collects mostly authentic stuff, but he resells a lot of it.

Some YouTube gun people have tens of thousands in firearms tho.
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Fri Sep 15 06:12:05
iPhone X
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjlHnJvXdQs
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Fri Sep 15 15:00:57
(WOW) LOW BLOW! -BILLY JOE SAUNDERS SON PUNCHES WILLIE MONROE JR IN THE BALLS & KICKS HIM @ WEIGH IN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ah3W5CVJrac
Cherub Cow
Member
Sat Sep 16 01:33:57
I wonder if the parents in the comments who talk about how that indicates bad parenting know how fucking boring they sound ;D
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sat Sep 16 07:37:19
Shkreli getting some comeuppance:

(Reuters) - A U.S. judge on Wednesday ordered Martin Shkreli to be jailed while he awaits sentencing for securities fraud, citing a Facebook post in which the former drug company offered a $5,000 reward for a strand of Hillary Clinton’s hair.

Shkreli, who had been free on $5 million bail since his December 2015 arrest, was silent and stony-faced as U.S. marshals led out of U.S. District Judge Kiyo Matsumoto’s Brooklyn courtroom.

Matsumoto ruled that Shkreli’s Sept. 4 post, made shortly before Clinton embarked on a book tour, showed he posed a danger to the public. She rejected arguments by Shkreli’s lawyer, Benjamin Brafman, that the post was protected free speech.

“This is a solicitation of assault in exchange for money,” the judge said. “That is not protected by the First Amendment.”
Pillz
Member
Sat Sep 16 11:53:10
Shkreli 2040
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sun Sep 17 10:02:31
some guy who seemed to have no idea what he was doing possibly killed by bull:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=c37_1505587014
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Sep 18 02:07:59
Interesting strategy. Maybe the trick is to get the bull to stab you in a safe spot?

Pouncing kitty of the day:
http://imgur.com/gallery/zsvkh1y
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Sep 19 00:34:03
Halfback passes to center.
Back to wing.
Back to center.
Center holds it.
Holds it!!!
HOLDS IT!!!!!
http://streamable.com/bjkdu
(dog makes seasonal soccer interesting for a few moments)
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Sep 19 01:02:52
Nanny apparently playing a little rough with the [laundry*]:
http://imgur.com/ATLEOwY
*baby

The person that posted this removed the image from the gallery, but it's still hosted by Imgur at the moment (the user would have to remove it from the gallery *and* delete it from their personal images section to stop the hosting).. If it disappears I may upload it because I don't see a news story about it or anything.. and the watermark says September 13th, 2017..
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Sep 19 08:32:41
not 100% sure it's a real baby... but it does make a cross leg movement thing that doesn't seem inertia based when she first reaches in for pillow (1 to 2 secs mark) so possibly

reminded me a bit of that baby yoga thing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7ihdsjIqhI
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Tue Sep 19 10:09:58
'Shaman' boasts about charming crocodiles then jumps into a river and is eaten by one

Suprianto claimed to be a 'pawang buaya' but was killed in the Muara Jawa estuary, Kutai Kartanegara.

http://www...nto-river-eaten-by-one-1639975
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Tue Sep 19 11:19:27
Pineapple Pizza vs The World

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JR_d8ddE-gs
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Sep 19 12:21:28
i had a pizza with lettuce, pickle, and some other stuff recently... basically was designed to taste like a big mac


cat fail:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyALsUXilxg
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Sep 19 14:27:17
A jogger in Colorado Springs, Colorado, has terrorized a family by taking weekly dumps outside their home, KKTV reports. The woman has been dubbed “The Mad Pooper” by Cathy Budde, who says her children were the first people to catch the jogger in the act, squatting with her shorts down.

Budd told the station she asked the woman, “Are you really taking a poop right here in front of my kids? She’s like, ’Yeah, sorry!′ ”

A sign begging her to stop hasn’t helped either.

“This isn’t behavior that we see on a routine basis,” Lt. Howard Black of the Colorado Springs Police Department told The Huffington Post on Tuesday.

Black said the suspect has defecated in several parts of the neighborhood, according to witness statements.
McKobb
Member
Tue Sep 19 14:54:31
http://youtu.be/HeLYVsf6qEA
McKobb
Member
Tue Sep 19 14:55:45
Motion activated work sprinkler should work.
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Sep 19 16:45:55
a news article on that above nanny/baby thing
...a south african news site (proceed at your own risk):
http://www...murder-after-mishandling-baby/
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Sep 21 02:55:15
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Sep 21 03:00:32
Oops! Blank post; pressed tab or something :p

"a news article on that above nanny/baby thing"
..I was hoping for a website with a racist comments section ;)

Imgur has apparently totally accepted Facebook garbage at this point (people openly posting selfies and lame personal stuff for complete strangers to "like"), but this hedgehog was posted, so +1 :p
http://imgur.com/gallery/YZ130
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Sep 21 03:05:19
baby made to jog
http://imgur.com/gallery/ZVC6x
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Sep 21 03:20:17
"A raccoon wearing a checked shirt eats snacks at a dinner table in Russia"
http://imgur.com/gallery/pZ4WU9D
McKobb
Member
Thu Sep 21 05:47:33
Russia has coons?
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Thu Sep 21 09:02:28
probably offerings from the Trump campaign... (zing!)
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Thu Sep 21 16:05:52
do try this at home:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Koxzz7LDmEE
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Thu Sep 21 18:46:58
great Walter White & other masks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jymsVWI888w
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Sep 21 23:10:45
That's awesome :D .. had seen some of those used in videos, so behind-the-scenes was nice :D

"do try this at home"
That was a confusing video: a British man doing a McMansion redneck project and onto the video overlaying a bro metal song.. :D ... It didn't look like all that water affected the handling, but I do wonder about his speed decisions with all that water sloshing around :p

"Beautiful: The Make-A-Wish Foundation Just Locked Kit Harington In A Scalding Sauna To Remind Terminally Ill Kids They’re At Least Not Going Out Like That"
[Onion/Clickhole Article]
http://www...on-just-locked-kit-har-6604#1,
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Sep 22 00:19:43
"Declassified footage of Shooter McGavin's secret trip to North Korea"
http://imgur.com/gallery/qJlz7Dp
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Sep 22 00:25:43
..I hate being sick when I have off time :/ .. just like a couple of years ago when I had a week off but had the flu or something. Such a waste! :p .. I'll probably feel better tomorrow, just in time for the start of work ;)

Cyborg kid with three legs cheats at soccer against non-cyborg kids with only two legs:
http://imgur.com/gallery/WdAM1Gi
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Fri Sep 22 10:35:29
Colorado's 'Mad Pooper' will win a year's supply of toilet paper if she turns herself in to police

http://www...r-if-she-turns-herself-1640442
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Fri Sep 22 10:37:56
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/DKRgGzqVAAEQ8Rq.jpg:large
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Sep 22 19:32:33
"Colorado's 'Mad Pooper' will win a year's supply of toilet paper if she turns herself in to police"

Probably it's not worth turning herself in given that this would go on her record :p

..
I made that cyborg comment (above) on Imgur, and some idiot said that "There’s nothing cyborg about crutches" — umm, actually there fucking is, you peasant. I love that people will call out others for things like that without looking up the term to see if maybe *they* are in error. Two seconds on wiki: "it applies to an organism that has restored function or enhanced abilities due to the integration of some artificial component or technology that relies on some sort of feedback" ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyborg ). I.e., in the general sense, a "cyborg" can be a person wearing glasses, or a person using crutches, etc... such a waste :/ .. ;p
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Sep 22 19:32:53
mountain biker jumps [surprise]
http://imgur.com/gallery/GogKTfR
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Sep 22 19:36:09
daily squee:
http://imgur.com/gallery/xM2SR23
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Fri Sep 22 21:31:48
Bill Nye getting on an elevator with a bunch of whores
http://twitter.com/Savmasta/status/911316107927076864
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Fri Sep 22 22:33:49
but if crutches kid walked around bragging he was a cyborg you'd be annoyed probably
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sat Sep 23 09:46:45
...especially if it was clock kid


some window-hating guy gets what's coming to him
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=577_1506077562
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sat Sep 23 12:28:41
raccoon riding on cop's windshield
http://www...63723762837&id=133820446633849
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sat Sep 23 23:08:42
if you want strangers coming into your home, Walmart has just the service for you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bOuVjbcTgs
...and it's just random robbers & rapists, like w/ Uber, doing the delivery
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sun Sep 24 11:40:16
spider uses blink attack on fly
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=1e6_1506256506
...really makes you think about how much fly poop may be in your home
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Mon Sep 25 18:40:59
Rapper B.o.B thinks the world is flat and he’s hoping to put your money where his mouth is.

The rapper just started a GoFundMe campaign called “Show BoB The Curve” that aims to help the celebrity non-scientist “purchase and launch multiple satellites into space.”

The campaign started Friday with a goal to raise $200,000. Uproxx figures that’s probably “enough for a small, economy-class satellite ― you know, just something for day-to-day use, nothing too flashy.”
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Sep 25 22:19:29
Seems like it would be a lot cheaper if he just did that helium balloon trick that space skydiver Felix Baumgartner used ( http://www...hnology/high-altitude-balloon/ ).. though of course it's even cheaper to just do a few science experiments :p

—"but if crutches kid walked around bragging he was a cyborg you'd be annoyed probably"
Oh no that would be okay :D .. he just wouldn't be a *cool* cyborg, like Dolph Lundgren and Van Damme in "Universal Soldier" ;)

—"raccoon riding on cop's windshield"
Yay! :D .. I like that they tried to make it sound like the cop waited to pull over before taking cell pix. Like, yeah, sure he did ;D

—"if you want strangers coming into your home, Walmart has just the service for you!"
They really pushed the "watching them avidly" part pretty hard :D

"really makes you think about how much fly poop may be in your home"
Didn't even think about flies *pooping* everywhere. These roommates get worse and worse
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Sep 25 22:19:33
Lucky kitty cat has its living and travel expenses paid for, allowing for great photos:
http://www.instagram.com/monas_adventures/
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Sep 25 22:23:05
I seem to specialize in posting mean comments on Imgur. I expect this one to do well because it was the only "bad comment" on the page at the time, and it disrupts peeps' ability to virtue signal with "support the troops" logic:
[Title]: "Got to welcome my son back from deployment."
http://imgur.com/gallery/C31Tn
[My Comment]: "Don't care. This is not Facebook."
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Sep 26 00:05:22
i see cumdumpster5 finds him cute...

the suggestion he's gay for his cigarette choice is winning at the moment

it does seem like something that should be on Facebook instead though
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Sep 26 00:11:40
more celebrity mean tweets... has a solid finish
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2oVUxTV4WA
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Sep 26 11:41:35
poodle scooter-jacks toddler
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=c22_1506426919
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Wed Sep 27 13:27:07
Colorado's 'Mad Pooper' cont'd

‘Spokesman’ for woman caught pooing on people’s lawns tries to offer an explanation

THE woman nicknamed the “mad pooper” has tried to explain her odd toilet habit — claiming she’s well within her rights.

http://www...d45d3ab0338af390019a135fd3c4cd
McKobb
Member
Wed Sep 27 14:07:22
http://www...e&wl12=887098759&wl13=&veh=sem

Problem solved for $30
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Wed Sep 27 15:35:24
prairie dog doing that viral kitten thing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iM3nW_JOGA
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Sep 28 02:45:31
"has a solid finish"
Def :D

..
Jim Carrey has gone nihilistic and probably solipsistic with a touch of Heraclitus flux (in sum, he apparently thinks that nothing matters because nothing is real outside of himself, and he doubts his own existence at least as a static force), which has made for some comical interviews:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICPGhxjW3fw
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Sep 28 02:45:51
..and talking to an E! host at fashion week:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JmNKGfFj7w
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Thu Sep 28 09:29:25
could be some mental break from his girlfriend's death... but i think he's been weird for awhile
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Sep 28 23:48:30
"could be some mental break from his girlfriend's death..."

That seems likely. Looks like he's hurting more so than trying to be philosophical. Probably also doesn't help to be a celebrity, since that forces people into weird, reclusive behavior.
McKobb
Member
Fri Sep 29 00:04:37
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Sep 29 19:00:07
"Liberal Activists Encourage Citizens To Call Their Late-Night Hosts And Urge Them To Oppose Tax Plan"
http://www...e-citizens-call-their-la-57076
[Onion News in Brief]
"WASHINGTON—Saying it was time for people to pick up their phones and let themselves be heard, liberal activist Adam Kramer encouraged citizens Friday to call their late-night hosts and urge them to oppose the new GOP tax plan. “Okay, everyone, start dialing and let your talk show hosts know they have an obligation to come out against this new tax proposal,” said Kramer in a Facebook post, providing the phone numbers for Last Week Tonight, Full Frontal, and The Late Show so that progressives could explain why the shows should firmly oppose the proposed plan. “We must band together to put pressure on the entertainers who can effect real change and let them know that we’re looking to them to put a stop to this grotesque redistribution of wealth to the upper class.” At press time, the activists were optimistic but said it wasn’t over until all the monologues were tallied."
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Sep 29 20:05:28
I made myself lol :D

From this Imgur post:
"Got to welcome my son back from deployment."
http://imgur.com/gallery/C31Tn
[CC]: "Don't care. This is not Facebook."
[shoju (the OP)]: "Then dont look."
[CC]: "No I'll look, downvote, and move on quite quickly. But thank you for your suggestion."
[shoju (the OP)]: "Got it. Thanks for thinking you know what IMGUR is. Have a day"
[CC]: "Hey no problem! Have a nice time whoring your son for Internet points! :D"
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Sep 29 20:17:08
puppies!! :D
(puppies after a bath)
http://imgur.com/gallery/fP1yx
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Sep 29 20:44:24
More from that convo:
[shoju]: "News flash: some of us dont care about the points."
[CC]: "True, like some just like that vicarious taste of satisfaction from getting people to say "thx 4 service" to them on behalf of their kids."

There legit exist peeps like this who will brag about their service member kids just so people will in bad faith say, "Thank them for their service for me," or so that the parent will get some kind of perverted sense of stranger affirmation.

..
"Cat Surprised by Air Spray Pet Deterrent"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucviePGuGFI
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sat Sep 30 09:02:56
theres a lot of complaining about bathing ^those puppies
---------

Sex Robot Molested At Electronics Festival

The man behind an “intelligent” sex robot named “Samantha” says the kinky creation needs to be repaired thanks to “barbarians” at a tech industry festival.

Engineer Sergi Santos, of Barcelona, Spain, wanted to show off Samantha at the Arts Electronica Festival in Linz, Austria, last week.

The randy robot is programmed with artificial intelligence so that she responds to gentle seduction. Samantha seemingly gets more aroused the more she’s “romanced.”

That didn’t happen at the festival. Instead, “Samantha” was molested and seriously damaged by attendees.

“The people mounted Samantha’s breasts, her legs and arms. Two fingers were broken. She was heavily soiled,” he said, according to Britain’s Metro news site. ”People can be bad. Because they did not understand the technology and did not have to pay for it, they treated the doll like barbarians.”

Even though Samantha’s breasts and some other body parts were badly damaged by the sex-crazed Austrian horde, the AI software in the robot still worked perfectly. When Santos asked the doll, “How are you?” it responded, “Hi, I’m fine,” according to Daily Star.


just like a real woman
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sat Sep 30 09:46:41
jaguar hugging caiman
http://img.../59cd08622d0000e6083079c2.jpeg
d'awww
Cherub Cow
Member
Sat Sep 30 20:46:46
aww, they're in love! <3 ;p
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sat Sep 30 22:17:29
A model from Ottawa, Canada, could have permanent vision loss in one eye after her now-ex-boyfriend attempted to tattoo her eyeball with purple ink.

“The artist, my ex-boyfriend, just kept pushing me until I got it done that night,” Catt Gallinger, 24, told Vice. “We were only together for a month, but I’ve known him for years. It was something I thought I could trust him with because he had a portfolio. I was wrong.”

Gallinger said her ex, Eric Brown, bungled the procedure by using a needle that was too big, sticking it in too deeply and using “pure ink” instead of ink diluted with saline. She said she went to the hospital immediately because she experienced pain and swelling, but that doctors sent her home because they weren’t sure something was wrong.

She went to a second doctor when she was still experiencing symptoms weeks later. The medical professional was apparently horrified.

Gallinger said she is still experiencing pain and blurry vision, and that she is scheduled for surgery next week.
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sun Oct 01 13:19:00
a quality window
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=02d_1506859353
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sun Oct 01 21:42:45
more tales of the Brazilian motorcycle helmet:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=22a_1506796547
was kinda like the helmet gave license to wail on him... although the one guy did go for the legs near the end
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Mon Oct 02 12:22:59
new world record for 'longest human tunnel travelled through by a cat on a skateboard'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=eCG-wlnJJK0
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Mon Oct 02 14:18:53
Tom Petty was rushed to the hospital Sunday night after he was found unconscious, not breathing and in full cardiac arrest
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Oct 02 21:01:26
..I think that Brazil video may have stopped before the murder :p

That Catmantoo must do some terrible or amazing things to get cats to be so obedient :D
But I had always pictured a crazy Aussie guy! He looks like I'd expect, but where's his deep outback accent?? :D

A follow-up to that nanny story in Namibia:
http://www...n-camera-namibia-a7957596.html
This was posted around the same time as the article you (tw) posted above, but it has audio with the video. "The nanny was arrested [the week of September 11-15] and has been charged with attempted murder, child abuse and assault."
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Oct 02 21:01:36
This other article also appears to have a cell recording of the video monitor taken by the mother:
http://www...owing-a-baby-into-a-cot-video/
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Oct 02 21:01:38
.. and another article ( http://www...tter-arrested-over-child-abuse ) mentions that the nanny had a first court date today (October 2nd).
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Oct 02 21:44:04
Rich man does some kind of DBZ celebration..
http://imgur.com/gallery/00IZjq7
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Oct 02 21:44:07
..and the Internet quickly makes it into a gif (from the comments below but not the source/creator):
http://i.imgur.com/utnHMms.gifv
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Oct 02 22:44:25
That person who posted a pic of his son made a comment about how I should go back to looking at pictures of animals, which makes me think that he stalked my profile and saw my favorites.. which have consistently been cat and raccoon pictures XD

"Americans Hopeful This Will Be Last Mass Shooting Before They Stop On Their Own For No Reason "
[Onion News in Brief]
http://www...last-mass-shooting-they--57093
"WASHINGTON—Expressing a sense of guarded optimism that the latest incident of gun violence that left 58 dead and 500 injured in Las Vegas would be a turning point for the nation, Americans across the country confirmed Monday they were hopeful this would be the last mass shooting before all such occurrences stopped on their own for no reason at all. “After something as horrific as what happened in Las Vegas, we’re all just hoping that now these terrible shootings will stop once and for all without circumstances changing in any way or any of us taking even the slightest amount of action in response,” said Harrisburg, PA resident David Snyder, echoing the sentiments of tens of millions of citizens from coast to coast who told reporters they were confident that, after living through the most deadly mass shooting in modern American history and taking no material steps to change gun laws, reevaluate safety standards, increase access to mental health care, or even have a national conversation about how mass shootings could be avoided in the future, tragedies of this kind would at long last come to an end. “Having seen acts of violence like this happen over and over again for years now, I’m really holding out hope that, despite every single factor that allowed them to occur remaining exactly the same, we won’t have to live through another day like today. I know everyone’s praying this will finally be the time this issue just disappears forever entirely by itself without anyone doing anything.” At press time, Americans nationwide agreed that years of taking no measures whatsoever to prevent mass shootings may finally be paying off."
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Oct 03 09:32:08
that's one bad nanny... leaving your baby w/ a stranger seems weird to me in general


& i see also on Onion "Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack" :p (& the "No way to prevent this"... article that they re-post each time)
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Oct 03 09:33:09
"Steven Seagal, I challenge you One on one, I use boxing you can use whatever. 10 rounds in Vegas"
~George Foreman

http://twitter.com/GeorgeForeman/status/914930639534772224
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Oct 03 11:57:29
dolphins observing squirrels
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeATgfIeAgc
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Oct 03 16:58:44
window washing... where there's no workers comp (presumably)
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=3fd_1506925326
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Oct 03 21:12:04
Seems as safe as rock climbing anyways :p

..
"that's one bad nanny... leaving your baby w/ a stranger seems weird to me in general"

Yeah.. maybe with friends or with a registered practitioner.. but I'm guessing that this Namibian nanny just sort of fell into the job :p

..
"& i see also on Onion "Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack" :p (& the "No way to prevent this"... article that they re-post each time)"

Almost posted the gorilla thing! :D — thought it was new for this time, but it's from 2013. The "No way to prevent" thing was easy to remember though :)

..
"'Steven Seagal, I challenge you One on one, I use boxing you can use whatever. 10 rounds in Vegas'
~George Foreman"
— Michael Scott

10 Rounds seems to load the scenario for boxing rules. And would foreman wear boxing gloves? Boxing gloves were a rarity even in early UFC, so I'm thinking that Foreman might not know how "use whatever" match-ups go :D ... I mean.. ignoring for the moment that Steven Seagal is super out of shape and hasn't had to train against real opponents for a long time due to his star factor causing sparring partners to take it way too easy ;p

..
"The guy in white is asked multiple times to put [his] cigarette out at the gas station. After he refuses, the station employee gives him a helping hand"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDI-SSOAk68
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Oct 03 21:24:47
smrt trash panda is uncovered:
http://imgur.com/gallery/0nimO
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Oct 03 21:43:24
"Taking A Stand: Congress Has Passed A Bill Making It Illegal To Sell Firearms To The Las Vegas Shooter"
[Clickhole/Onion Article]
http://www...-passed-bill-making-it-il-6775
"The bill goes on to highlight that this strongly worded new gun-safety law only applies to the Las Vegas shooter who murdered 59 people this past Sunday, and that all other people named Stephen Paddock are still eligible to purchase assault rifles."
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Oct 03 21:47:49
was that a mime that disturbed the raccoon? :p
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Oct 03 22:24:15
The gloves do seem like mime gloves :D

Lots of mistakes here..
"Indiana Cop Mistakenly Shoot At Actor During Movie Scene"
(apparently the movie was being filmed without a permit — no one from the city was notified)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LV0RGNs3P_s
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Wed Oct 04 11:01:29
perception/reaction time is a killer... took him a bit to comprehend & drop the gun (not that he died in this case)
-----

donuts & google maps don't mix:

A Missouri man is accused of stabbing his 12-year-old grandson on Tuesday after he “snapped” during an argument over a doughnut, court documents revealed.

Jose Ortega, 67, told police he was in his Raytown house with his grandson, who was getting ready for school, just before 7 a.m. when they got into an argument over the sweet treats, according to court documents obtained by FOX4KC. Ortega “snapped” when the boy refused to give him a doughnut. He then grabbed the boy’s neck, threw him to the ground and stabbed him with a kitchen knife “once or twice.”

The boy stumbled outside and banged on his neighbors’ doors to get help.

"All I could understand from him was him and his grandpa was joking around," said Dana Payne, a neighbor, told FOX4KC. "He was getting ready for school. Then his grandpa started calling him a liar, something about Google Maps and he just reached for a butcher knife and stabbed him."


Ortega later admitted he wanted to hurt, not kill, his “disrespectful” grandson. He also told police job stress, depression and lack of counseling from a psychiatrist caused him to “snap.”
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Wed Oct 04 19:02:42
the new twerking maybe:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=40b_1507154305
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Wed Oct 04 22:21:01
CASPER, Wyo. (AP) — Police say a central Wyoming man they arrested for public intoxication claimed he had traveled back in time to warn of an alien invasion.

Casper police say the man they encountered at 10:30pm Monday claimed he was from the year 2048.

KTWO-AM in Casper reports that the man told police that he wanted to warn the people of Casper that aliens will arrive next year, and that they should leave as soon as possible. He asked to speak to the president of the town, about 170 miles (270 kilometers) northwest of Cheyenne.

The man told police he was only able to time travel because aliens filled his body with alcohol. He noted that he was supposed to be transported to the year 2018, not this year.


...i'd like to question this guy further
McKobb
Member
Thu Oct 05 07:19:59
We cab call it teatling...or colloquially milk shaking.
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Oct 05 21:58:34
"The man told police he was only able to time travel because aliens filled his body with alcohol."

Doesn't seem at all like a clever excuse for public intoxication ;D

..
"Nation’s Police Officers Now Too Heavily Armed To Go Undercover Convincingly"
[Onion News in Photos]
http://www...w-too-heavily-armed-go-u-57128

And this was below that :D
"Tips For Celebrating An Anniversary"
"Plan a second honeymoon to a destination with an even higher water slide."
Quiet Sound
Member
Thu Oct 05 22:17:01
The Onion has a lot of material to work with.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLTxeu_U8AEk7QJ.jpg

http://www...cipated-video-games-fall-57043
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Fri Oct 06 09:35:24
that undercover cop should be made into a comedy show

QS sighting!

bullfighting blooper
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=c15_1507236881
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Oct 06 21:35:24
Looks like the bull went into fainting goat mode after that :D

raccoon doing the dog car window thing.. but.. a raccoon.. so it's weirder:
http://imgur.com/gallery/nDX5VCp
McKobb
Member
Fri Oct 06 23:36:53
Fainting Bull is my new injun name!
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sat Oct 07 09:46:01
perhaps he was faking it to get out of being stabbed to death

the raccoon has way more enthusiasm... dogs once again brought to shame
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sun Oct 08 10:13:17
corn field surprise:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=80f_1506807779
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Sun Oct 08 10:18:16
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/CuMmYB2WEAAU4v2.jpg
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Oct 09 20:17:08
"Deer Shot By Obsessed Fan"
[Onion News in Brief]
http://www.theonion.com/article/deer-shot-obsessed-fan-57151
"CAMP VERDE, TX—Ambushed in broad daylight by a fanatical admirer, sources reported Monday that a local deer was shot by an obsessed fan. “All the evidence we’ve gathered thus far leads us to conclude that the suspect seemed fixated on the deer before ultimately taking its life,” said Sheriff Rick Lazaro, explaining that the shooter is believed to have stalked the whitetail deer for several hours before the killing, even loitering around its favorite salt lick since sunrise. “From what we can tell, it appears that the deer was enjoying a walk in the woods and took a step out into the glade where the fan was waiting with his rifle. He didn’t even say a word.” At press time, police suspected the killer had a murderous infatuation with the entire species as evidenced by the heads of several other deer found stuffed and mounted on the man’s wall."
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Oct 09 20:50:11
corn field surprise was kewl btw :D

random Siberian kitten pic (squee of the day):
http://imgur.com/gallery/iW5HN
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Oct 10 09:44:43
great Onion piece :p hopefully i'll remember it like that good gentrifying one, from apparently 2 years ago:

http://www...oommate-well-paid-job-sl-51798

classics :p
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Oct 10 09:47:49
Vampire scare prompts U.N. pullout from southern Malawi

LILONGWE (Reuters) - The United Nations said on Monday it has pulled staff out of two districts in southern Malawi where a vampire scare has triggered mob violence in which at least five people have been killed.

Belief in witchcraft is widespread in rural Malawi, one of the world’s poorest countries, where many aid agencies and NGOs work. A spate of vigilante violence linked to a vampire rumors also erupted in Malawi in 2002.

“These districts have severely been affected by the ongoing stories of blood sucking and possible existence of vampires,” the UN Department on Safety and Security (UNDSS) said in a security report on the Phalombe and Mulanje districts that was seen by Reuters.

The UNDSS report said at least five people had been killed in the area since mid-September by lynch mobs accusing them of vampirism. It said mobs searching for vampires have been mounting road blocks in the district, raising security concerns.

Malawian President Peter Mutharika said the reports were “distressing and agonizing”.

“This development has been of grave concern to the President and the entire Government,” his office said in a statement. ['grave' concern... haha :p]

The UNDSS report said the vampirism rumors appear to have originated in neighboring Mozambique, although it was not clear what had sparked them. It recommended the “temporary suspension of U.N. activities in the area until the situation is normalized”.
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