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The current time is Mon Dec 18 05:06:59 PST 2017

Utopia Talk / General Talk / Hell and welcome to my blog!
Marlboro man
Member
Thu Dec 22 16:38:43
Since 2017 is coming up or so it seems, I thought this would be the time to sum up the year.

I'm still alive and for some reason people still tell me I can be anything I want. This is of course complete and utter bullshit and should it be true... Well shit, I've wasted a lot of time then.

Also I've never had ambition, I gave that up long ago, just like I gave up on a number of other things.

I was such a happy child they say, I guess that's true but then things happened. Almost made it back but got lost just as I was closing in on the finish line. And now here I am.

Right here, where I miss being "sick" or "delusional", Oh sure, the constant fear and paranoia wasn't all that great but there are perks. For one thing it really helped me develop a better understanding of the english language. I argued a lot with myself in english. Once I was awake for over twentyfour hours talking to myself in my head. As far as I know, I might have been talking out loud.

There has of course been some pretty big bangs and horrible stuff but I don't feel like sharing those because they are very special to me. It's my world and trespassers will be shot. It's my quiet place, which is ironic because its full noise.

Feel like I'm beginning to drift here.

2017, yes?

I don't know quite where that year will lead to. But if things continue going like they are it will at least be a very memorable year. Memorable? Is that a word. Do I care? Not sure.

See, pills don't stop it, it just makes me aware of it. I have been told that's not how they work. Some part of me did not get that memo. I'm so tired and this is beginning to feel increasingly risky. This I mean, the words, I'm losing track of the words. I should apologize? Maybe not, I feel like I should apologize, I just don't know why.

You should go out they say... I know. But there are people everywhere and they talk. And they think. I don't know what they are thinking, feels dangerous. I know it's not. But it's always a constant battle. I get so tired.

And then I come here and spew shit all over the boards.

I don't know.
Kaylana
Moderator
Thu Dec 22 17:45:21
I don't know if it helps any, but I still read the ramblings, here. I know you're tired, but I don't want you to give up trying. 2016 was rough. But 2017 is a wild card that hasn't been played, yet.
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Thu Dec 22 18:06:09

In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry, you make it double
Don't worry, be happy, don't worry, be happy
Pillz
Member
Fri Dec 23 00:38:06
This is my blog fuck off
repel
Member
Fri Dec 23 07:40:24
Technically TMB was the first with claiming it to be her blog, but since she ain't around anymore I guess the claim is free again...
hood
Member
Fri Dec 23 14:01:47
Hell?

Well shit, way to break it to me softly.
McKobb
Member
Fri Dec 23 23:31:18
Hell is for children. Helga is for fun.
Repel
Member
Fri Feb 03 15:18:18
This is a pretty shitty blog, come on MM where's the monthly update we're already in februari!
Marlboro man
Member
Tue Feb 07 11:16:59
Oh, you know, I'm still a horrible cunt.
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