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Utopia Talk / General Talk / #UGTwit83 #StrangerAnthems
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Feb 19 16:47:05
Apparently Fergie decided to do a Jazzy/sexy version of the U.S. National Anthem for an NBA game:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5cOvyDpWfM
..this gives better performances a lot more wiggle room ;p
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Mon Feb 19 16:56:53
that was awful... can see Jimmy Kimmel preparing jokes @2:06
...player @0:58 looks like Avon Barksdale from the Wire

-------

also from last thread: how embarrassing for that squirrel to fall in front of the cats :/
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Feb 19 17:13:27
Yeah :D .. Mr. Squirrel's moment to be super cool in the high school hallways — the full attention of the cheer squad and jocks — and he slips :p

Many Fergie memes brewing. I can feel it in my meme-filled bones.
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Feb 19 20:46:16
This is a bit gross, but still captivating in its own way:
(recorded on a security camera: man poops in public, and it gets worse)
http://imgur.com/gallery/j8Weg
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Mon Feb 19 22:45:35
seems to be gone... was it the guy wiping his ass with a brick that's on LL?
--------

kinkajou #noRacist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BGfpiSMt2U
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Feb 19 23:54:11
I guess the ear-biting was an issue :p

..
"seems to be gone..."

Arg! In hindsight I guess a person pooping isn't going to last long on Imgur, even if it *was* black and white and from a non-graphic angle :D
I think he tried to wipe with his hand, but then he slipped and fell into his own poop. I tried to Google for it, but I don't see it :/

..
I knew better, but Jergul's "Who understands science?" thread baited me (though I won't respond there), and he called me a cynic again. I don't get that insult, because I've been mean-spirited but I don't think I've been cynical... but after reading the wiki page to see if I'm considering its definition correctly, this part stuck out:
"Cynicism can appear more active in depression ... Peter Sloterdijk defined modern cynics as "borderline melancholics, who can keep their symptoms of depression under control and yet retain the ability to work, whatever might happen ... indeed, this is the essential point in modern cynicism: the ability of its bearers to work—in spite of anything that might happen." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cynicism_(contemporary)
That sentiment has followed me into some movie critiques .. like in the movie "Bokeh" (2017) I thought it was silly that a character (Maika Monroe's "Jenai") would stop caring about life and would become despondent just because everyone else stopped existing :D

Anyways, I'll still say that I've just been mean-spirited lately; I don't think I'm a cynic — I just dislike stupid people :p .. I'll still read this Peter Sloterdijk's "Critique of Cynical Reason" though... could be interesting.
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Feb 19 23:54:14
This story seems to have upset the person who posted it:
"Completely average skier lands a spot in the Olympics"
http://imgur.com/gallery/0zTML
..but being rich or having lots of money has always been a component of having a shot at the Olympics — not a coincidence that the top-medalled teams all come from 1st world countries that can afford to send their athletes to training camps. And her half-pipe run didn't have crazy flips and stuff, but that was still a fast speed (I've never skied before, so it looks difficult to me at least :p )
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Feb 20 00:02:12
Skater achieves maximum cool:
http://imgur.com/gallery/EwSOmWt
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Feb 20 01:00:41
maybe you have a cynical assessment of your cynicism

i didn't even know regular skiers did the half-pipe thing... or maybe i just forgot they did... my theoretical interest in the winter olympics is much higher than my actual interest (although i do recall really enjoy Short Track in 2002)

there was also Eddie the Eagle... who apparently qualified as an olympic ski jumper by just being the only ski jumper from the UK or something (& causing a rule to be implemented named after him)
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Tue Feb 20 11:07:53
"Anyways, I'll still say that I've just been mean-spirited lately; I don't think I'm a cynic"

even if you were a cynic,who cares.
at the end of the day,
educated idjiots and mental midgets are a dime a dozen on UP and on the net in general.
cherub cow = priceless.
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Tue Feb 20 13:12:13
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/DWc4UHUVAAA74eN.jpg
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Feb 20 17:16:40
lulz :p

And yay! :D Thanks! Priceless is much better than a million dollar offer from billionaire John Gage... *maybe* :|
;p
But yeahs... UP sometimes, right? D:

"maybe you have a cynical assessment of your cynicism"
How intolerably self-interested of me! ;D

..have been meaning to check out that 2016 Eddie the Eagle movie.. On the RL Eddie's Wiki page it says that he failed to qualify when competition increased in later years.. doesn't matter, still qualified once? ;p

..
Update on the #UGTwit82 story of the guy who was weirdly positive about getting his feet amputated: he just posted a fresh picture with his now-healed stumps
http://imgur.com/gallery/Qz8Dv
..keeps making me think of that D.H. Lawrence self-pity poem they used in G.I. Jane: "I never saw a wild thing / sorry for itself. / A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough / without ever having felt sorry for itself."
Being maimed probably isn't a good way to test if you've rid yourself of self-pity, but if the maiming happens organically.. ;)
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Feb 20 17:34:20
cute kitty of the day:
http://imgur.com/gallery/p7EFZ
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Feb 20 17:40:21
By using costumes, registered sex offenders can interact with the public safely:
http://www...llier/videos/2086527261594223/
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Thu Feb 22 01:14:33
how do people still let their children sit on mall santa laps with all we now know?!
-----

satisfying sound:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=a98_1519009152
...cat probably thought she was posting a selfie
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Feb 22 13:49:16
Yeah kitty seems intuitively aware that duckface is a horrible thing :D
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Feb 22 23:57:49
TLDR for this: Self-described "flamboyant liberal queer" buys a handgun, is told by someone that they don't feel good about her owning a handgun, she gets mad about them saying that and doesn't understand why they would say that, she then gets arrested for using her handgun to shoot at another driver:
http://imgur.com/gallery/uOp73
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Feb 23 00:03:09
Chain chomp cat house:
http://imgur.com/gallery/qkZma
McKobb
Member
Fri Feb 23 05:51:27
Nice cat house!
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Fri Feb 23 10:41:14
both of those imgurians ask for nudes when they see their post was popular :p (or perhaps that's tradition)
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Fri Feb 23 12:19:17
Walking Dead theme w/ lyrics
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Su9Mns6fWV8
whose community will they ruin next? :o
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sat Feb 24 01:31:42
bad parking job
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=17f_1519436384
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sat Feb 24 12:28:32
annoying chinese kid... with some comeuppance
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=279_1519474253
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sat Feb 24 12:47:24
like a lava lamp for the modern age
http://twitter.com/PeteRock/status/966820964221808641
Cherub Cow
Member
Sun Feb 25 20:15:02
Seems to be good resilience there ;p

"bad parking job"
Wows... D: ... the full speed reverse was especially funny. That seems to be a common thing.. like where someone makes a big traffic mistake and tries to over-correct it in a crazy way. (Not just regular over-correction, but [just hit something and then tries to 'fix' that and just makes it worse])... I thought there was one where someone was in a drive-thru and does something like that.. hmm..

"annoying chinese kid"
So many questions D: .. but eugenics a good answer? ;D

Nice variation on an old joke:
("Black Stallion" beer commercial from September 2017)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uVP8N6_MW0
Top comment on Imgur: "This raises more equestrians than prancers." ( http://imgur.com/gallery/JD6kD )
Cherub Cow
Member
Sun Feb 25 22:33:16
from October 2017:
"Arctic Foxes Destroy Filmmaker's Camera"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlQYciVYhVA
Cherub Cow
Member
Sun Feb 25 22:40:13
kitty buried under another kitty:
http://www...C-_nmgj/?taken-by=mugimeshi323
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Mon Feb 26 18:37:14
i agree w/ the 2nd imgur comment
("First i thought it was David Bowie")
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Feb 26 18:42:20
Me too, actually :D

..
If getting robbed and/or shot by motorcycle helmet-wearing peeps in Brazil wasn't enough..:
(runaway tire hits pedestrian in head)
http://www...kull-runaway-TYRE-hit-him.html
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Feb 26 18:44:42
a deer making poor life choices:
http://imgur.com/gallery/jQV1ia1
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Mon Feb 26 18:56:33
that tire is from last Feb :p re-poster!
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Feb 26 19:01:49
Is it? D:
Arg! I thought I read the *entire* date, but I've been bamboozled! ;D

..
kitty snuggles:
http://www.instagram.com/p/BesVUUdhd1G/?taken-by=riepoyonn
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Feb 26 19:30:35
Forgot to post this funny email from "Apple" :D

Subject: "Apple Statement account update information login to re-active"
And from the very Apple-ish email: "uqjpqjiuos@randymichelleshirleyloiscook
pattersonmichelleusingjesseperryrogerslois10114.live.mail.com"
(broke it in case it was a thread-stretcher)

"Dear Apple Customer,

We emailed you a little while ago to ask for your help resolving an issue with your account.

What the problem?
We detect unauthorized login attempts to your account from other location. Some information on your account appears to be missing or incorrect. Please update your information promptly so that you can continue to enjoy all the benefits of your apple account.

What you can do next?
Please log in to your account to see the steps you'll need to complete your informations. We will review your account within 24-72 hours. If you do not complete you can't get full access to your account.

Please verify your account information by clicking on the link below :

[Big login link/button here]

As always, if you need help or have any questions, give us a call or go to our Help Center. You can find the link on any page of our website.
Sincerely,

Apple"

..
And another weird one:

"Hello friend it's my pleasure to write you this message. I am Craig Cole an American Soldier Sgt. deployed to Somalia for peace keeping mission, I feel quite safe dealing with you in this important issue. I want you to know that this place is not safe for us but we have no option. We are been attacked by insurgents, car bombs in so many occasions.

During one of our rescue mission as we normally do, we came across a safe box that contain huge amount of money that belongs to the Rebels in Somalia, which I believe was money meant for buying of there weapons and ammunition. When we get to the camp that faithful day our commander call all the Army officers present on that rescue mission that the money will be shared among us because we lost few soldiers during that assignment, Out of the total money found, my share was ($2,500,000) Two Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars.I kept my share in a Security Company in Turkey which I thought was the safest country to keep the funds hoping when I am out of here I will go for it.

I am sad because of the email I received from the security Company few days ago that the Company my Consignment was kept want to relocate to another country due to increase of Tax and if the Security Company close down and I am not around they will return the box back to me and its will cost me my job.That is why the security company is calling to every costumers that have packages with them should come get their belongings. And now I can't leave here due to my Job. I'm so confuse.I am seeking your assistance to evacuate the Box to your destination.Friend I will want you to receive the Consignment to keep it safe on my behalf till I come over to your country so we can invest in a profitable business. I want you to know that the box would be delivered to your home without any hitch.

I have made every arrangement, I have signed a bond with the Company that the Consignment box will never be opened or scanned by any immigration or custom till the box get to you. The box will leave Turkey to your country since it is the only way the Consignment can get to you save, I want you to treat this with your whole heart because their is no risk involve, I will await your prompt responds on this issue.

Kindly notify me of your interest Via email.

Best Regards"
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Feb 26 19:56:26
No need to watch this entire video, but at this one part Coyote gets maybe too close to a poisonous Australian spider :D
http://youtu.be/t8uJZdr9TAM?t=6m30s
(just from 6:30 to 6:50)
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Mon Feb 26 21:45:29
i appreciate him considering showing scale :p


and very kind of that stranger to entrust you with his $2.5 million
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Feb 26 22:28:26
Yeah this "Craig Cole" doesn't seem to be offering me a percentage, he just wants me to take the money and leave me to my devices until we invest in some unknown "profitable business" — sucker is about to get robbed! ;p

And yeah, totes good that Coyote found such a dangerous method of showing scale :D

Liquidiation of a mouse ghetto by dog soldiers, circa 2017:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAqs2Vj1Ark
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Tue Feb 27 13:54:56
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/DWuM0MAXkAAihzr.jpg
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Wed Feb 28 00:39:09
rat holocaust :o

pretty good Impractical Jokers ending (guy irritating biker gang)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGOQTLkN_Ok

...'we're not a gang!'
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Wed Feb 28 07:24:36
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/DXGPJWPVwAALmlc.jpg
Cherub Cow
Member
Wed Feb 28 13:55:37
That person must love farmer’s markets :p
Sharon doesn’t even know what farm-to-table *is*!

Not much hesitation when it came to wedgie time :D
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Wed Feb 28 14:40:29
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/DXJPVBzWkAAmXWi.jpg
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Thu Mar 01 00:27:04
NEWFOUNDLAND, Pa. — Crown-wearing worshippers clutching AR-15 rifles drank holy wine and exchanged or renewed wedding vows in a commitment ceremony at a Pennsylvania church on Wednesday, prompting a nearby school to cancel classes.

http://loc...8/02/gettyimages-925473128.jpg
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Mar 01 02:28:55
A lasting commitment to ultraviolence I hope ;)

I downvoted probably 100 posts on Imgur before finally finding this one.
Kitty trying to get fish from jar:
http://imgur.com/gallery/hWWlkQW
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Thu Mar 01 23:03:55
A for effort (<- that sounds better spoken than it looks written)

hopefully the cat didn't go w/ Fry's solution
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ys3Ofx1ivp4
McKobb
Member
Fri Mar 02 08:55:35
I need to do that with bait fish! When I get back from la that is
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Mar 02 18:17:49
Fry may be on to something :D

Extremely unprofessional National Geographic photographers decide to disrupt the natural order of things:
(dog saved from snek)
http://www...as-dragging-it-into-the-water/
I was going to post the dailymail link (only because it came up first in Google), but they completely cut off the part where the men decide to kill the snake even after it had let the dog go.. hmm..
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sat Mar 03 15:52:43
woman strikes man with +2 toddler
http://www.liveleak.com/view?t=Cu2jd_1520098454
Cherub Cow
Member
Sun Mar 04 00:37:13
Apparently gypsies? I've heard good things! ;D
Liveleak looks weird now... don't think I like it.. though I don't think my opinion is quite as negative as this comment from that video:
"Congrats to LL for putting the final nail in what has been a steady decline to shit. For long Hayden and his butthurt racist little mods have been allowing islamic terror propaganda to flood their site but banning any users who upset their feelings. Paid accounts getting autofeatures most that have been ripped off or rejected by average users among much other faggotry and bullshit. But now this beautiful redesign. I was really hoping to have my retnas burnt out of my fucking head while reading the news. J/k! There's no fucking news here just absolute trash and bullshit lately AAAAAAND now this redesign has solidified your shitting of the bed. Im glad to see you fail Hayden you and your little faggy buttsore premium followers and cock sucking flying monkey moderators enjoy your lonely pathetic sellout shill site cause youll be the only ones here."
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sun Mar 04 11:09:13
it claims the upgrade is in progress so i'm willing to wait... plus i'm probably willing to accept whatever i get anyway
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sun Mar 04 18:19:33
Oscars tonight

i wish we could see what the aging actresses looked like without the plastic surgery to see if it wasn't the horrible mistake that it seems
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sun Mar 04 23:20:49
i think there was a nipple... a black woman who introduced a musical act in some black stringy outfit
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Mon Mar 05 10:44:10
i just noticed there's a 'dark theme' option in the vertical "..." menu on Youtube... all sites & applications should have that for my gollum eyes
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Mon Mar 05 13:53:06
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/DXiuiKiW4AEDxRW.jpg
Cherub Cow
Member
Mon Mar 05 21:22:42
"plus i'm probably willing to accept whatever i get anyway"

That's how most of these change roll-outs seem to happen — just accept Caesar's decisions and adapt ;D

..
"‘Diversity Was The Real Winner Last Night,’ Report Hundreds Of Dumbasses Whose Very Existence Insults The Name Of Journalism"
[Onion News in Brief]
http://ent...t-night-report-hund-1823524487
"LOS ANGELES—Gushing that yesterday’s Oscars had changed the face of Hollywood forever, hundreds of total fucking dumbasses whose very existence insults the name of journalism reported Monday that “diversity was the real winner last night.” “On a night traditionally filled with glitz and glam, it was race and gender equality that finally had their moment in the Oscars spotlight,” wrote countless slathering dipshits, who, by publishing surface-level puff pieces claiming that “new voices had triumphed on the biggest stage in Tinseltown,” upended the very foundation on which journalism was based. “Inclusion stole the show last night in a dazzling spectacle that proves once and for all that outside voices are the real up-and-coming stars. In many ways, it wasn’t A-list celebrities who deserved a standing ovation yesterday, but representation itself.” At press time, the bumbling oafs continued to degrade their profession by declaring that, in many ways, America was the true Oscar darling."
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Mar 06 01:07:11
dog loses its shit after seeing puppy:
http://twitter.com/calebjhull/status/970061492744843265
People wanted to know what happened after they took the puppy out of the box. The answer: it was eaten immediately.
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Mar 06 12:51:53
^the dog is trembling as it thought the bargain was that it would become their slave if the rest of it's kind would be set free...
---

i doubleplus HATE when in games if you step somewhere or talk to someone & it starts a cutscene & puts you somewhere new so you can't finish exploring where you were... just got FF-X in a steam sale & it does it a lot >:[
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Tue Mar 06 13:07:18
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/DXnfdynWAAABQOK.jpg:large
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Mar 06 20:02:06
lol — good trick ;D

..
"starts a cutscene & puts you somewhere new"

That sounds sort of familiar. I can't remember which game I used to play where I'd have to return to a save point after running into an irreversible cut-scene just so I could finish an area.. hmm.. but yeah, definitely annoying.

Houston Astros superfan in his hot ride:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-ETcELir7s
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Mar 06 20:05:38
I didn't realize that ninja attack edits have been made of all these (mostly) familiar gifs:
http://imgur.com/gallery/iQVHn
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Mar 06 22:48:45
butterfly orgy:
http://www.facebook.com/uniladmag/videos/4582003768489313/
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Thu Mar 08 01:21:16
^i like the ninjas :p

cougar eyeballing guy:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?t=a0vZ0_1520444144
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Mar 09 01:40:14
That cougar was a bit too big for him to be so cavalier about the whole thing :D

This Onion "American Voices" added a new character (it's usually just the same few pictures that they've been using for years)
"Apple Employees Called 911 After Smacking Heads On Headquarters’ Glass"
[Onion: American Voices]
http://www...cking-heads-on-head-1823625435
"“As a bird, I get it.” — Snappers, Zoo Animal"
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Fri Mar 09 10:48:47
true story :p


Employees in Apple Park, Apple’s grand new spaceship-style headquarters in California, keep walking into glass doors and windows.

Despite warnings from a building inspector that people would not be able to tell where the door ends and the wall begins, at least three Apple employees walked or ran into the ultra-transparent glass hard enough to require emergency medical treatment during the first month of occupation, according to recordings of 911 calls obtained by the San Francisco Chronicle.

Apple Park is a gigantic, $5bn (£3.6bn) four-storey glass and metal circle building designed by Norman Foster, where the glass has been specially treated to achieve an exact level of transparency and whiteness. The doorways reportedly have perfectly flat thresholds because “if engineers had to adjust their gait when entering the building, they risked distraction from their work”, according to a construction manager talking to Reuters. It also uses the largest, heaviest single pieces of glass ever installed on a building that also happens to be curved.

Apple co-founder Steve Jobs once said: “There’s not a straight piece of glass on this building” and that this was “a shot at building the best office building in the world”.

Employees have reportedly been dealing with the problem since Apple Park first opened in a limited capacity last year. According to Bloomberg, distracted workers on their iPhones have been walking into glass walls around office spaces, resorting to sticking yellow sticky notes on the glass doors to help. The notes were reportedly removed, however, because they detracted from the building’s design.

http://www...walls-norman-foster-steve-jobs
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Mar 09 18:42:25
lulz.. I was wondering if they'd put something on the glass (that tends to happen after the first accident), so it's funny that they *did* but that it was removed to preserve aesthetics :D

..
Can't find a liveleak source for this:
(hit and run driver is chased down by vigilante witnesses)
http://imgur.com/gallery/cQkdg
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Fri Mar 09 19:01:57
to be fair, the article goes on to note:
"Apple has reportedly had to resort to putting rectangular stickers on some of the glass to try and avoid further injuries, having started with the doors. Apple uses similar stickers in some of its glass-doored stores."

i thought it was funnier ending on the post-its though :p
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Mar 09 20:00:22
Oh okay that makes a little more sense :D
..though, having never distractedly run into a plate glass door, I'm not sure that I would fault Apple if they decided to leave off the stickers and let nature sort these things out ;)
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Mar 09 20:33:07
Tape trick does not work on this kitty:
http://imgur.com/gallery/Ej6vNfC
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sat Mar 10 01:20:26
why do to lil kitty?


last entry in lost explorer's journal:
"we cannot get out...
they are coming"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GZBn4_SfQQ
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sat Mar 10 14:49:37
there's a 2K publisher sale on Steam this weekend
(Civilization, Borderlands, Bioshock, & X-COM games)
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Sat Mar 10 19:22:14
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/DX3JNMlVAAAfdV0.jpg
Cherub Cow
Member
Sun Mar 11 21:16:45
the beluga seems so happy while saying all of that ;D

"why do to lil kitty?"
For Internet points of course! \:D/
..I can't imagine there's much trust between hooman and kitty after that, so those Internet points mean a burned relationship — not worth it if kitty is life.

"Negative Review Of ‘A Wrinkle In Time’ Peppered With Critic Assuring Readers He Still Totally Supports Diversity"
[Onion News in Brief]
http://ent...me-peppered-with-cr-1823656342
"OAKLAND, CA—Alternating his problems with the film’s story structure, pacing, and overall tone with effusive praise for the cast of strong, multicultural women, Bay Area Examiner film columnist Justin Garren published a negative review of A Wrinkle In Time Friday in which he nevertheless took pains to remind his readership of his support for diversity. “This adaptation of Madeleine L’Engle’s young-adult classic sanitizes the book’s most powerful themes, making it a rare miss for director Ava DuVernay, whose MLK biopic, Selma, I give my highest recommendation,” Garren wrote in his two-star review of the science-fiction adventure, painstakingly and repeatedly noting that his objections to the film are purely on cinematic grounds. “There’s plenty of blame to go around, as many of the film’s problems lie squarely at the feet of white people—Jennifer Lee delivered a tepid screenplay that was done no favors by Chris Pine’s hardly there performance.” At press time, Garren had taken to social media to promote his thinkpiece lavishing praise on virtually every aspect of Black Panther."

..this reminds me that the new "Death Wish" (this one by Eli Roth) has been released.. definitely want to see that..
Cherub Cow
Member
Sun Mar 11 22:48:31
kitten on spinny thingy:
http://imgur.com/gallery/D1XSC
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Mon Mar 12 14:49:09
http://twitter.com/BrokenAnimaIs
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Mar 13 01:19:59
murderess acquitted:

Jurors Friday acquitted a Stillwater bail agent of first-degree murder in the August shooting death of one of her clients.

Carey, 42, of Drumright, testified she shot the client, Brandon James Williams, 38, of Stillwater, at her office Aug. 9 in self-defense. She and her 19-year-old son were attempting to take Williams, who was free on bail, back into custody at the time.

“I was afraid he was going to shoot my son,” Carey told the Payne County jury. “I felt like we were going to be killed. … I've never been that scared before.”

Carey testified Williams attempted to grab her gun before fleeing out her office window. She said she beat Williams to the gun and turned to fire just as he was going out the window. She shot Williams in the back.

video (can skip to ~1:45)
http://www.liveleak.com/view?t=sWHu3_1520896480

i mean you can see her fairly calmly get the gun from a drawer that the guy clearly never went for...
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Mar 13 03:51:33
Wows... and she was acquitted ... D: wut?
The son was clearly like, "Mom, what the fuck did you just do? Why the fuck did you do that?"
..and a comment pointed out that she shot, then very stupidly pulled back the slide (ejecting a round, since pulling back the slide only makes sense if there was no round chambered in the first place)..
..and oh, a comment pointed out why she was acquitted: prosecutors charged her with first degree murder (too high of a charge), but this was manslaughter.. so... good job, prosecutor..

..
"Daylight Saving Time Begins"
[Onion: American Voices]
"Americans set their clocks forward by one hour on Sunday so that daylight lasts further into the evening. How are you coping with losing an hour?"
"“At least the hour taken from me was also taken from my enemies.” — Nathan Beal • Volunteer Barbeque Tender"
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Mar 13 11:12:47
yeah first-degree may be a bit much, although i think it's been ruled that premeditation can be established in mere seconds... she's making a deliberate non-hysterical effort to 'get gun to shoot guy so he doesn't get away' in my opinion
-----

coward penguin... (w/ optional Ozzy Man if you have audio on or not)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxsPINNflu4

hard to say how long that could go w/o the slip
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Mar 13 16:56:46
In the wild there would have been more penguins up there willing to push him into the water to check for sea lions ;p

Elmo parties:
http://www...97/permalink/1072390719819283/
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Tue Mar 13 21:43:09
United Airlines apologizes for dog that died after being put in overhead bin

The passenger was asked to move the bag because it was sticking out into the aisle, according to a person familiar with the incident.

The owner of the dog told the flight attendant that the animal was in the bag, but the flight attendant insisted that the bag be put in the overhead bin.
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Mar 13 23:05:20
That was in the annoying news feed thing that Firefox puts in my blank new tab space, and of course I clicked this one because.. aminals :p .. also the promise of a "disturbing" image of a dead one ;D
Sticking into the aisle is definitely a problem, but I'm surprised that the passenger didn't try to get the dog completely under the seat (apparently under the seat is United's pet policy?) or just hold the dog in her lap. Seems to be some missing pieces here between pet sticking out and pet being put overhead. I'd bet that the passenger had too much crap with her and decided to keep her extra crap under the seat and the dog overhead, but I may be projecting my general dislike of campsite travelers ;p
..Also, customer service for a discount airline must be one of the worst when it comes to not being stressed.. so maybe the attendant was just pissed and wanted to watch something die ;p
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Mar 13 23:08:15
kitty smack:
http://imgur.com/gallery/iiCLbT2
Cherub Cow
Member
Wed Mar 14 03:40:12
I thought the Florida Man thread in UP would be about this, but apparently not!

Florida Man high on narcotics attempts to flea the scene of a car accident but is stopped by Samaritans:
[video at story]
http://www.../midtown/article204704804.html
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Wed Mar 14 10:48:22
would be more florida-y if sledgehammer guy started bashing other cars after the first one got away
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Wed Mar 14 14:02:40
United Airlines says it’s investigating after mistakenly flying a Kansas family’s dog to Japan.

KCTV reports that Kara Swindle and her two children flew from Oregon to Kansas City, Missouri, Tuesday on a United flight.

They went to a cargo facility to pick up 10-year-old Irgo, a German shepherd, but were instead given a Great Dane. Swindle, of Wichita, Kansas, learned Irgo had been put on a flight to Japan, where the Great Dane was supposed to go.
---

"take the hint, we hate your dog"
~United spokesperson
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Mar 15 03:26:55
"would be more florida-y if sledgehammer guy started bashing other cars after the first one got away"

True! :D ..maybe partial credit because he had already gotten carried away when he smashed the back window. The driver-side window made sense because it could be to stop the driver, but the back window was just opportunity it seemed :D

..
"New Workplace Diversity Initiative Kills One White Employee Every Hour On The Hour Until More Minority Candidates Hired"
[Onion News in Brief]
http://loc...ills-one-white-empl-1823765187
"TERRE HAUTE, IN—In an effort to foster a more inclusive workplace, Jetsam Marketing Solutions announced Wednesday a new plan to implement diversity by conducting hourly regimented killings of white employees and hiring a more equitable percentage of minority candidates in their stead. “Until our staffing goals are met, one white person, preferably a straight man, will be publicly executed every 60 minutes, leaving a vacant position for a candidate who represents an historically disadvantaged group,” said human resources manager Allison Conte, who sat behind her desk and sharpened a knife as she told reporters the company could no longer be accused of merely paying lip service to representation. “While creating a more diverse organization is not something that happens overnight, we believe that at our current pace we can have the matter resolved within five days, six tops.” At press time, sources confirmed several newly hired employees at Jetsam Marketing had filed complaints alleging the company maintains a hostile work environment."
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Thu Mar 15 13:23:50
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/CAJcJlkUsAAoRNK.jpg
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Thu Mar 15 13:49:24
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/DYTetckV4AEGjvu.jpg
Cherub Cow
Member
Thu Mar 15 14:20:16
lol@Classic Caesar :D

!!BREAKING!! (15 minutes ago)
"‘The Onion’ Hires Several Pastry Chefs Away From Entenmann’s To Form New Bakery"
[Onion News in Brief]
http://www...fs-away-from-entenm-1823807651
"CHICAGO, IL—Confirming an exciting new foray into non-traditional revenue streams, The Onion announced Thursday that it has hired several industry-leading chefs away from pastry giant Entenmann’s in order to form their own mass-retail bakery. “We’re eager to announce that we’ve taken on the talents of Entenmann’s esteemed baker-in-chief, an executive kitchen manager, and several of their younger pastry chefs. We’re optimistic that their experience in the production of individually-packaged pies, coffee cakes, and doughnuts will help launch the company toward our mission to disrupt the commercial baking industry,” The Onion said in a press release this morning in which the news outlet revealed they attempted to buy Entenmann’s three years ago, but ultimately declined out of disinterest in several of the company’s muffin offerings. “It’s fairly obvious that bakery is the next frontier after domination of online news and tailored social media content. Frankly, we don’t know how anyone’s not seeing this.” Outside sources are speculating that the Onion has announced their bakery’s new name following a cryptic, context-free tweet this afternoon that simply read, “Crust!”"
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Thu Mar 15 15:56:38
the "Crust!" tweet is real! :p... although 8 mins before tweeting that article


some weird Thai sex tourism
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-Kmn24RxWI
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Mar 16 00:57:00
Yeah soon her face will be on one of those Thai sex trafficking billboards that warn about tourists taking advantage of local animals ;p

"Irish festival"
http://imgur.com/gallery/49HoP
..no source has been posted with sound yet :(
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Fri Mar 16 08:42:32
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/DX93hz2VMAASneY.jpg
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Fri Mar 16 16:51:01
how to write a Tool song

Published on Mar 10, 2018


I LIKE TOOL THIS IS A JOKE PLEASE DONT KILL ME

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocE2mxkwG_w
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Mar 16 19:20:09
lulz.. it was really only a matter of time before they were deconstructed to formulaic, which is why the scene has moved on to doom metal and doesn't worry that much about when Tool might release their next album ;D ... (though Maynard *has* apparently finished writing the album, and they have studio time planned)

..that T-shirt&sign combo is really confusing to me D:

Two good ones from the Onion:

"‘I Must Make Sure You Have The Skills To Please My Grandson,’ Says Queen Elizabeth Disrobing Before Meghan Markle"
[Onion News in Brief]
http://www...s-to-please-my-gran-1823835071
"LONDON—Claiming that the fate of the Realm was dependent on the Prince’s continual satisfaction in all his physical needs, Queen Elizabeth II summoned Meghan Markle to her royal bedchamber Friday, where she embraced her granddaughter-to-be, slowly dimmed the lights, and proclaimed, “We must ensure you have the skills to please my grandson,” before letting her nightgown slip languorously to the floor. “As queen, it is my responsibility to properly train you in the erotic duties expected of the Crown,” said the 91-year-old Queen Regnant, ushering her future granddaughter-in-law toward a luxurious canopy bed on which an assortment of feather ticklers, blindfolds, and other pleasure-enhancing items had been carefully arranged. “The fate of all England may someday hinge on you indulging the desires of your husband-to-be in a way befitting a prince; thus, I shall guide you through all the carnal wisdom of our regal forebears, every sensual escalation and lascivious technique known to arouse royal blood. The tantric secrets of Mary, Queen of Scots alone have the power to bring the most frigid of kings and consorts to a transport of ecstasy.” The Queen then reportedly began the process of confirming that Markle was indeed yet a virgin."
Cherub Cow
Member
Fri Mar 16 19:20:15
"Facebook Announces Plan To Combat Fake News Stories By Making Them Actually Happen"
[Onion Full Article]
http://www...ake-news-stories-by-1823836038
"CEO Mark Zuckerberg ... said the company has already hired 100,000 new employees to carry out widespread government conspiracies and other erroneously reported activities until all purported news on the site was accurate."
Cherub Cow
Member
Sat Mar 17 17:49:03
Happy Drunk People Day 2018!!
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Sun Mar 18 10:36:43
skynet attacks:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?t=qm6x_1521205088

(0:36 prob best part)
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Sun Mar 18 20:04:59
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/DYlOKRiXkAABGzI.jpg
Cherub Cow
Member
Sun Mar 18 22:58:13
Good dodge by the guy at 19 seconds! :D
36 seconds guy should have tried to land that ;p

pretty kitty:
http://imgur.com/gallery/eRUIJ
tumbleweed
the wanderer
Mon Mar 19 17:33:40
from Florida Man twitter:
"Golf Cart-Driving Florida Man Tries to Blow Up Neighbor’s Chickens With Home-Made Whiskey Bomb During Dispute Over BB Gun"

^that sums it up mostly, w/ a bit more color in this paragraph:

"The caller said Wegener, nicknamed "Spider," was in a dispute with someone over the theft of a BB gun and had offered to pay a friend to crawl under the man's home to plant an IED."

full article:
http://www...sive-detonated-city/432210002/
swordtail
Anarchist Prime
Mon Mar 19 18:56:31
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/DYqpKd3VMAEySw3.jpg
Cherub Cow
Member
Tue Mar 20 02:12:45
That was a *lot* happening in one headline :D .. very impressive. Like this doggo carrying a large branch:
http://imgur.com/gallery/5VvLEJ0
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