Utopia Talk / General Talk / LOL Addiction 9: Police Standoff Phase

Cherub Cow Member	Thu Mar 07 17:07:01 "By The Time Bryce Harper's 13-Year Contract Expires, Hank [the host of "The Morning Sweat"] Will Be A Lonely, Old, Useless Relic" [Onion Video: "The Morning Sweat"] http://spo...ontract-expires-han-1833135945
Cherub Cow Member	Thu Mar 07 18:43:45 This particular mobile phone theft made me lol, so :D http://imgur.com/gallery/L8SDqFA
Cherub Cow Member	Thu Mar 07 19:01:48 "Officer, where[abouts] is the closest bank?" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBiA-_BQ688
swordtail Anarchist Prime	Fri Mar 08 14:05:23 'Get out of the car!' Cops release dramatic officer-involved shooting video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY611ekXuXw
Cherub Cow Member	Tue Apr 09 02:17:49 Trying to get a big pan through a regular-sized door: http://imgur.com/gallery/jLX86mc
swordtail Anarchist Prime	Wed Apr 10 11:18:09 http://twitter.com/AngryManTV/status/1114259441384398853
Cherub Cow Member	Wed Apr 10 11:52:45 I know it’s a display model, but what kind of person just sticks an ungloved finger in there? D:
Cherub Cow Member	Sun Apr 21 19:27:55 "Katrate" (turn sound on) http://imgur.com/gallery/tptpKiF
swordtail Anarchist Prime	Mon Apr 22 17:38:55 AS-02 Various Administrative Wizardry Positions - INVENTORY http://emp...licant/page1800?poster=1279695
Cherub Cow Member	Wed May 01 01:00:53 That link didn't work for me, btw. .. "Walgreens Unveils New Line Of Shrink-Wrapped Sandwiches To Grab When Something Has Gone Horribly, Horribly Wrong" [Onion: News in Brief] http://www...-wrapped-sandwiches-1834425941 "Whether you’re eating one on the go while heading to a miserable job, avoiding several outstanding warrants for failure to pay child support, or just don’t value yourself very highly, our sandwiches are slapped together in a way that’s guaranteed to make you wonder exactly why your body needs to continue on. Has everyone you once cared about now abandoned you? Are you down to your last $3 in loose change? Walgreens now has the perfect egg salad sandwich or plain hot dog to accompany speculation at exactly how low rock bottom can go. And if you’re at the end of the line, but you’re still not sure you want to step over it, why not think that over while forcing down a crumbling meatball sub from the room-temperature cooler we put across from the generic cough medicine and foot powder? Hell, grab a nice warm yogurt, too. You’re worth it."
tumbleweed the wanderer	Mon May 20 00:50:07 SNL Weekend Update did the thing again where they write jokes for each other & don't see them until air time (supposedly) (starts ~1:10) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yp81l2aVap4
Cherub Cow Member	Mon May 20 00:54:04 lol XD ... that was a really good one :D "Cat fight" "That scene from Game of Thrones." http://imgur.com/gallery/qIreF4q
Cherub Cow Member	Mon Jun 10 03:33:11 A fun concept, and then the ending has the lol :D "How To Experience Chicago Like A Local By Settling Down, Starting A Family, And Living There" "On this episode of Are We Blair Yet?, Onion Travel vlogger Blair Ryleigh explores all the safe parts of Chicago and experiences the city like a true local by settling down, starting a family, and living there for nine years." [Onion Video] http://www...al-by-settling-down-1835336019
Daemon Member	Thu Jun 20 09:07:17 How to reset a "smart" light bulb http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BB6wj6RyKo
tumbleweed the wanderer	Thu Jun 20 11:48:54 some good Bill Hader, especially the 2nd half anecdote http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuQHCGa732U
Cherub Cow Member	Fri Jun 21 18:15:20 That was good :D Next time they'll have to stab him for real >:| ;p .. lol, Daemon... I had to scrub through the video so it wouldn't waste my time ;D ...wait... that's GE's actual YouTube — not a satire page? D: D: D: ...and CNet defended it?? D: D: D: lol, our planet is doomed... .. This starts weird but improves :D (weirdo anime cosplayer video edit) http://imgur.com/gallery/aXJToLE
Cherub Cow Member	Wed Jun 26 02:17:57 Another "Are We Blair Yet?" — Onion is making it happen with this one :D "How To Find The Best Cheap Eats In The Dumpsters Behind Los Angeles's Best Restaurants" [Onion Video, 1:33] http://www...he-dumpsters-behind-1835737802
Cherub Cow Member	Sat Jul 06 18:44:29 <3 kitty cats http://imgur.com/gallery/MOK2K2j ..wait, wut? D:
Cherub Cow Member	Thu Jul 25 02:35:34 Another How to Basic appearance :D (From 3 years ago) "How To Tame a Wild Animal" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CWZZZ0-3UU
tumbleweed the wanderer	Thu Jul 25 12:12:08 he's good at the uncomfortably high exposed thigh shots :p
Cherub Cow Member	Thu Jul 25 13:05:03 Must be wearing tighties to keep things off screen ;D
Cherub Cow Member	Sun Oct 13 23:47:27 Good moment from "Cops" episode: http://imgur.com/gallery/0JTfu5I
tumbleweed the wanderer	Mon Oct 14 00:11:11 i have a feeling her child sells crack
Cherub Cow Member	Tue Oct 15 02:57:34 Yeah, not sure I believe the prostitute's belief in her child here. :D Or maybe she *doesn't* sell crack, but when someone showed up with $20 she was like, "Hmm... I could put plaster in a bag and get that $20..." .. "Scared [Shitless] Fitness" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tek0YZE8Gos
Cherub Cow Member	Thu Dec 12 05:48:33 This one caught me off guard :D (doggy and stairs) http://i.imgur.com/Bu2EJSf.mp4
tumbleweed the wanderer	Thu Dec 12 12:52:02 you have to wonder what he was trying to do... & hopefully he stops trying :p
tumbleweed the wanderer	Thu Dec 12 12:57:35 random amusing thing from Twitter: "Mr. Hook" is Culver City attorney Christopher Hook who is demanding payment by Allstate insurance for his clients, and this is Allstate complaining about his tactics in this page from a court filing: http://pbs.twimg.com/media/ELDLBwDXkAAkFvB?format=jpg
Cherub Cow Member	Thu Dec 12 16:14:36 lol Calling people "borderline retarded ... faggot ... gay boys" is "discriminatory" in Allstate's opinion? :( Where my country done gone? ;D
tumbleweed the wanderer	Sun Dec 22 20:25:26 another SNL joke swap (joke swap starts about 1 minute in, but there's also a good opossum joke before that) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ys786ZsA5tI
Cherub Cow Member	Sun Dec 22 23:50:31 lol. They could have substituted "Spirit" with "Frontier" Airline and it would have worked still :D ... probably a lot of discount airlines, actually.. The cue cards one was good :D Really pushed him to the limits there ;p
Cherub Cow Member	Mon Dec 23 04:40:11 An accident in the cat world: http://imgur.com/gallery/VGlRgtn
Cherub Cow Member	Thu Dec 26 03:51:36 "The Actress - SNL" (A good one from April, 2019!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HVH_I04ZrM
Cherub Cow Member	Thu Jan 02 03:15:17 Stray cats meow for food: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EYZnSXEla0 I couldn't stop laughing at the way the food was dropped and they all go quiet to eat :D
Cherub Cow Member	Tue Jan 07 07:16:11 "Holiday Baking Championship - SNL" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tebBj42fC3k
Cherub Cow Member	Tue Jan 21 02:20:38 "Snuggles 666" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8E3Umb__q0
Cherub Cow Member	Sat Mar 28 21:59:07 Another SNL commercial I missed :D Aron's List - SNL (2017) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNmrR8SQ5Z0
Cherub Cow Member	Sun May 03 20:27:06 Eric Andre - Pizza Safety http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcZfI6kJiPs
tumbleweed the wanderer	Wed Jul 15 12:03:18 Disney World reopening ad (refiled from other thread :p) http://twitter.com/madrid_mike/status/1282351918619086848
Cherub Cow Member	Sun Jul 26 21:33:00 "Oh look! A dandelion!" http://imgur.com/gallery/znerF5A
Cherub Cow Member	Fri Jul 31 06:40:33 Gordon Ramsay with How2Basic-looking hands edited in: http://i.imgur.com/8QTknuX.mp4
swordtail Anarchist Prime	Sat Aug 01 10:10:13 Meet the guy who makes the racist statues http://twitter.com/chaser/status/1276031022711189504
Cherub Cow Member	Sun Aug 02 05:19:49 lulz.. a commission is a commission ;D
Cherub Cow Member	Sun Aug 02 20:25:25 Just found out about this guy. Ryan Long comedy does political stuff in a sort of South Park way, where they make fun of ultra-partisans: "When Wokes and Racists Actually Agree on Everything" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev373c7wSRg
Cherub Cow Member	Sun Aug 02 21:51:01 Sounds like he's self-consciously channeling South Park humor. This is a long video (so don't bother), but around 19:40 he mentions that woke culture has stifled comedic voices, so people have started doing what South Park did at its launch (low budget but whatever they wanted) and the industry had to move to *them*, which is a good message for comedians. I.e., do your comedy outside the social media outrage circles and just build an audience. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MiuFgSFElg
Cherub Cow Member	Mon Aug 03 20:48:21 I'll try not to spam Ryan Long videos, but this one was funny: "How to Sell Protest Footage to FOX AND CNN" [Ryan Long; June 15th, 2020] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiYZ__Ww02c
Cherub Cow Member	Sun Aug 09 22:27:12 Eric Andre - Team Go! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFNOgw01_lc
Cherub Cow Member	Mon Aug 31 05:18:59 "WATCH: Burrito Unboxing" [Onion/Clickhole; Augsust 26, 2015] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXvVhX2gZQE
Cherub Cow Member	Fri Sep 25 03:49:09 "People Talk About The Moment That Made Them Believe In God" [Onion/Clickhole; September 26, 2017] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmfPFxFYGJs
Cherub Cow Member	Fri Oct 16 06:48:33 "Old Man Says WNBA Players Need Husbands" [Ryan Long; October 14th, 2020] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TU6itl6ck_Q He's *so* good at getting people off track with absurd scenarios :D
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